Speculum
by Wayward Demon
Summary: Role Reversal  Sebastian contemplates what would happen if he was the one to be saved from a personal hell, if Ciel took care of him instead, if only to ease some boredom. M for language and things mentioned inside.
1. The Introduction

_**I'm back, pastries~ **_

_**I know I've promised things, but I'm stuck on those, so I welcome you to my take on a roll reversal. This chapter is only an introduction by Sebastian, and I do hope it makes sense. **_

**Warnings: None for this chapter, other then a few things mentioned, but the story will be (hopefully) gorier and more mentally straining than anything I've written before. **

_**But I suppose that I'll be okay as long as I'm doing better than the writer of "My Immortal" ... That story is just... awful.**_

**...**

_We are mirrors_. On one side, everything is fine and normal and everyone is 'happy'. The images displayed to our eyes are so different, though. The other side can spot lies like a bird of prey. It is twisted and dark and unforgiving.

I am a mirror, myself. As in, I am part of the other side. Humans have been deceived, they think that angels and demons are opposite ends on a spectrum of morality. True, there is a divide, but it has nothing to do with morals. Just the handling of things. That point aside, we witness things differently.

And that alone allows us the ability to envision different circumstances. Those who are reading will probably be able to recall hearing something about alternate universes, which is a very similar idea. It's never happened, in this case, but the principal of something being different and changing everything is the same. In fact, angels are known to display this to the mortals in order to offer them comfort.

I, on the other hand, as I stand on this miserable divide, use it to fulfill longings that will never be in reality, such as the manipulated shadow of my young master that adores me as I've often wished. I have no doubt in my mind that that makes me selfish. What kind of demon would I be if I didn't at least pretend to take what I wanted and force all to give me my way? Still...standing on that divide...

I'm getting off track.

The whole point of this little monologue is to introduce you to what's about to happen. My childhood was understandably difficult. So difficult, I find it so easy to understand on a high level the master's rage and other emotions. Though, lucky him, he was spared the life of harsh expectations that come with being the youngest in an enormous family of demons. I'm glad it ended for him. Lately, because of all that I can remember, I've often wondered what would happen if the situation were thrown on it's side. If I were the young, broken, child and he were taking care of me. Sadistic, I know. But I think it could be interesting.

So if you do happen upon this and you do decide to look into this broken looking glass, I hope this is taken as fair warning. There is violence. There is blood, rape, murder, abuse, infanticide and mental illness. But there's always some flickering light following behind. So as I suffer for your entertainment, we may both find some faint hope for something better.

I am not out for revenge. You cannot take a life for the end of a life that never was. I am only wishing for an end. So I will dream it. I will sleep, though I should not, and I will paint a picture with what little remains of my soul created so long ago.

After all, if I could not at least act human every once in a while, what kind of butler would I be?

**...**

**Note:**_** And so begins this monstrosity. Tell me what you think when you read this, hopefully the premise is alright. I mean, it's obviously been done before, but I want to make this different. And my style is just that. Now comes the struggle for something good. Review, it's my anti-drug~**_


	2. Dulcis Cor

**Warning: **_**Incest/Rape of an eight-year-old boy. Yep. Have fun. I'll be here for hugs, I know I need a hug.**_

**...**

_My name is Gaap. I am a demon. I am eight-years-old._

_My Daddy doesn't like me much. I'm the youngest and he tells me I'm the prettiest, that he likes my curly, black hair and big, red eyes and how small I am, but he never wants me around him. Mommy's gone a lot and my brothers and sisters are too old to play with a baby like me. That's what they tell me._

_I'm a boy. My Daddy buys me dresses and stuff most of the time, though. He says I should have been a girl. I'm too pretty to be a boy. My Oldest brother agrees. I don't like the way he looks at me. It gives me nightmares. I wear them, put them on all by myself, and I get told how pretty I am. And it feels so good._

_He doesn't like me, but he loves me. Somehow, Daddy loves me. And it makes me so happy I could explode sometimes. That's all that matters, yes? As long as my Daddy loves me and takes care of me, I'll be okay in the end. _

_..._

_Dinner was finished. Gaap, being the youngest, got the most. And, of course, the children were the only ones who really ate. Until they'd survived half a century, it was better to keep them strong like any mortal child. Despite his premature birth and his lack of growth in the past two or three years, it was seen as greedy by his sisters when he ate so much. It wasn't rare for them to beat him up and steal his food when their mother wasn't around. Lucky for him she was and he got to eat. _

_Gaap walked tiredly down an unlit and cold corridor to his room, which was at the very end. He forced the heavy door open, getting splinters in his tiny fingers, and walked inside. He stripped down to nothing and crawled underneath his ash-stained comforter, curling up and weakly trying to raise his body temperature to start to get warm. He should be in bed with mommy and daddy, but they wouldn't let him. Or his father, Moloch, wouldn't, so he had to do the incubation on his own._

_It took him hours to build up the so needed 90 degrees to fall asleep. That slumber was almost immediately disturbed, too. Moloch, dressed in a clean, black suit, opened the door and pulled the blankets off of his tiny son. "Get up."_

_"Huh?" Gaap blinked and sat up, wrapping his arms around himself, "What is it, Daddy?" Moloch forced a smile and calmly told him to get dressed, wear good clothes because they were going somewhere special as a late birthday present. Gaap, unaware that his birthday was actually the day he'd just barely made it through, smiled excitedly and jumped up. _

_His father's eyes followed him hungrily as his small, naked body gracefully moved towards his wardrobe. The young demon pulled the door open and looked at his dresses. They were what his daddy liked him in best, and since that's who was taking him out, he wanted him to be happy, too. After his tiny, tired mind debated for a moment, he stood on his toes and pulled one down. It was very dark purple velvet, with black lace around the edges and hanging off of the back in a little trail that cushioned a satin bow large enough to extend a good three inches from either side of his waist and leave a foot of fabric on the floor. Next came black socks, up to his knees with little purple bows at the top, and a pair of shiny Maryjane's._

_Gaap turned to his father and received a look of approval. He beamed at Daddy and ran over to him, wrapping his arms around the older demon's thigh and squeezing. Moloch's hand ran through his raven ringlets, causing him to giggle softly. _

_They left the house silently, climbing into a carriage that the young one had only seen from the window when his siblings got to leave the house. He was growing up now, this was it. This is how it happened for his sister, Abyzou, he could remember. How they left and then came back and Daddy loved her so much after. She got to sleep in their parents' bed sometimes._

_It was beautiful. Upholstered in dark brown leather with brass tacks. The more Gaap looked at it, the more his eyes sparkled. His father quietly mumbled something to the driver before helping him in and following. They began moving as soon as Moloch sat down, leaving Gaap to collapse into his lap. He chuckled and grabbed his little chin, lifting it up and and brushing dark hair away from Gaap's crimson eyes._

_"How do you like it?" He purred. Gaap leaned into his hand as it gently brushed against the curves of his cheek and neck._

_"It's pretty." He smiled tiredly, closing his eyes. "And warm." He didn't really pay attention to the source of the building heat, which was his father. He crawled up into the seat beside him and laid his head in his lap. _

_"Go ahead and go to sleep, I'll wake you when we get there."_

**...**

Gaap woke up in his father's lap, legs wrapped around his waist. Moloch's mouth was buried deep into the crook of his neck, nipping, kissing and licking at his pasty skin. The heat was unbearable now, and something felt off about his father. Gaap weakly tried to push him away and found he couldn't. He shifted the less-restrained part of his body, namely his hips and waist, only to find that strange part of his father become more apparent, along with the fact that he must have forgotten to put on panties when he'd hurried to get dressed.

"D-Daddy..." Moloch growled like a rabid animal in reply, fangs sinking deep into the younger demon's skin. He sobbed. "Stop it, it hurts. Daddy."

"Shut up." His fingers worked at the useless buttons on the back of Gaap's dress, popping them open one by one and letting the dress fall off, exposing his chest and ribs. Gaap let a quiet sound escape his throat and pulled it back up to cover himself. Once again, his father growled. This time, however, his hands grew persistent in making the boy uncomfortable and pushed his skirt up.

"W-what are you-"

"Making you keep quiet." That thing that felt so wrong about his father popped out of his slacks and tore into him. Gaap dropped his clothes and slapped his hands over his mouth, trying desperately not to scream. It was so big, it felt locked him place. He sobbed loudly behind his little hands.

"Da-Ghk!" The tears in his eyes burned. Gaap felt like he was bleeding. A lot. His father moved furiously, making the pain unbearably intense. All this all at once was too much, it left the boor child unable to beg, plead, or scream, no matter how futile it would be. He did, however, croak and groan pathetically until it ended.

Flooded. Breathless and torn apart inside, he pulled away and tumbled to the other side of tha carriage. "What's wrong?" Gaap looked at him through damp and heavy eyelashes, watching him as he clumsily forced himself back into his pants, still breathless.

"I-I..." He stuttered, curling up on the opposite seat. "...I'm sorry for bleeding on you, Daddy."

"Mm. It's fine. Can't see the stains anyway. Come back over here and sleep by me, honey, you'll feel better."

"No." Gaap buried his face in the leather, "No, please don't make me. I want to be right here. That's all I want for my birthday."

Moloch sighed and reclined, "Fine, do what you want." Gaap nodded weakly and fell asleep faster than he ever had before.

**...**

**Note: **_**Yeah, he's eight, I'm not getting any more graphic than that. I'm depressed enough as it is, new-found crush on SSoHPKC aside (hurr... he's so adorable, I want to lock him in my closet and ask him what he washes first in the shower...). So there's that. There's going to be one ore two more similar chapters before I get things going. I'm ready for older/butler Ciel. Ciel is a sexy beast. Don't judge. I'm only a hephebophile for him (I think that's how it's spelled. Lawd.) So review so I can get this going faster~ **_


	3. Manducare est Luto

**Warnings: **_**Mentions of rape and brief mpreg (that one counts for next chapter. BRIEF.) Also, demons can be bad words. But you knew that. **_

**...**

_It's been a few years. I told my mother, she did nothing, I told my brother's... One of them, the second oldest, shook his head and hugged me, but in the end that will mean nothing but momentary comfort, which is not what I desire. The other put me through it all over again._

_I lock my door now._

_I am Gaap, and I am twelve years old. What happened on the night of my eighth birthday has violently torn the innocence out of my heart. It's been playing as a broken record and I cannot tell you how many times this part of the tune has screeched past me now. It's only been four years and I feel so adult._

_They can get in no matter what I do. I get beaten when I fight back, that only makes it hurt worse. As no one is willing to help, to give me one night of sleep before I physically grow up, I'm leaving. I've got some clothes I've made (my mother's been teaching me what she does my sisters, it seems they have no intention of raising me as a male) packed away with a little food. I've been planning this for months. I'm aware that I live nowhere near the city, and even when I get there, I could be caught, but if I try. If I at least try..._

_At least my death will mean something, if only to myself._

_And so I will try._

**...**

The curls fell out of Gaap's hair from time to time. Most of the time, it was in permanent, soft, ringlets. He'd cut a couple layers at the top to get rid of them, to look a little more like a boy. It resulted, of course, with his father plunging a knife into his shoulder and puring acid on the wound. At his age now, it would take him a while to heal up completely, but it would eventually disappear.

His hair was straight now, making it a few inches longer and more difficult to deal with. He sat up in bed. His brothers and father were gone for the night, so he had until the fires brightened to get out. He brushed through the slept-in mess and walked to him wardrobe. All of his dresses, which he tried to avoid wearing now, were piled up on the bottom, his hand made and secretly bought clothing hung up in their place. He gently pulled an outfit off of its hanger and changed out of his silver pajamas. The pants he chose were tight, but they covered him. Next followed a sleeveless shirt, purple with silver stitching, as those were the colors he preferred. Over that he pulled his mother's black sweater, which fell off his shoulders but would have to do. He didn't have a jacket. He wasn't supposed to leave.

He grabbed a pair of boots he'd stolen from one of his many sisters and put those on, too, before quickly pulling his hair up into a messy bun to get it out of his way. Finally, he pried his window open and grabbed his packed up things from under his bed before jumping out onto the soft, dry dirt.

Gaap didn't remember, nor would he ever, running so fast in his life. The fires and other lights of the city were off in the distance. At the rate he was , he'd be there in thirty minutes or so. Still, he didn't get his hopes up. His father had dogs and guards that could catch him legally before he reached the limits. The sight of tall, sharp and crooked buildings kept him going. More people, higher chance of survival.

**...**

He'd been picked up. Not by guards or regulators who kept an eye on the souls who were on 'break', but by a group of older demons. There were about 21 of them and most of them were male. He'd been told by one who called himself Belial that they were trying to establish a new sort of government and he was welcome to join. So the twelve-year-old had shelter if he agreed. He wasn't stupid, of course he'd say yes.

Well, that wasn't going to turn out like he'd hope. The building was nice, if a bit torn down, but the people were just as abusive as his family before hand, if not worse. He stayed, however, hoping to find someone else to go home with while he was out guarding the place. Fuck them and their new government, he wanted to feel safe. That didn't go well, either. He'd been there for nearly twenty years, hardly aging and not growing at all. Somehow, he'd managed to make himself believe that something good would happen.

Perhaps it did. When he found out, he didn't know how to react. Two months into the twenty-first year, he found out that the gang had been hired by his father to keep him in the city until he came back. So... yes, that 'night' turned into a couple of decades. Probably so his mother could raise him and his sisters to be more feminine and delicate. Didn't matter. Knowing he couldn't run, he waited patiently for Moloch to arrive and do what he enjoyed most. After all, father-son 'bonding' is important.

It happened eventually. A few days after that (maybe a month, he'd blacked out at some point and could never keep track of how long he slept) he discovered what could possibly be the end to it all. He was pregnant. "Thank you, confusing body parts," he mumbled nervously in an accent he'd picked up from city dwellers. He put his hand on his lower abdomen, where the organ that held the soon-to-be infant rested and sniffled. This thing was his ticket out of this leech jar.

So he ran away. He had to be craftier and a lot more careful than the first time, crawling out of a 18th story window and leaving the city before anyone noticed. He didn't change his clothes, no matter how dirty and torn they were, didn't pack anything, just left.

**...**

Gaap gasped and shot up in bed (he'd been living with a couple of city dwellers for a week now, just barely off the streets). In a state of dazed, tired half-shock, he let his hand study his less-than-normal-sized bump. The baby nudged against his hand.

All this time he'd been thinking about killing it off, but that moment, _that fraction of a second_, he was in love. Gaap got teary-eyed, smiling and hugging himself. He couldn't possibly kill his baby. He wouldn't be like his father and destroy something innocent for no other reason than to be selfish.

"I have to plan for you," he mumbled down at his stomach, "Where should we go? I can try to make my way above here with the humans who won't be able to hurt you soon." Another kick. "Okay, that's what we'll do."

**...**

He stumbled into the world, not knowing where he was, forced to pretend he was pregnant. The humans that walked the streets had the same accent as the city dwellers he'd been living with. Short, skinny, pretty and pregnant, Gaap figured he'd be able to get help from someone.

**...**

**Note: **_**One more Pre-Ciel chapter. You'll get a little more of a baby explanation, too, whiich is a weird situation, I know. And I kind of skimmed over another rape scene because my brain can't handle it right now. But this story officially has direction. SO HAPPEH. Review, or Moloch will stand outside your bedroom window at night in full-blown demon un-glory. Or, you know, Review for cake, that's good, too~**_


	4. Turbatus Aquae

**Warnings: **_**Last Pre-Ciel Chapter! Language, violence, mild gore, infanticide, a sort of brush-by of a sexual encounter and the beginning of the Black Plague. Yep, according to my mind, this is how it started. Have fun, lovely pastries**_**.**

**...**

_No. _

_No, no, no._

_This isn't happening._

_God help me, this can't be happening._

_Why now? Why her? Why my baby?_

_What did I ever fucking do to you? _

_Why?_

**...**

Gaap, going by Samantha at the time, ran into a church. It made him a bit sick to his stomach but he had to keep running.

How do you outrun a nightmare, though? He ran into what he was trying to avoid, his father, and was embraced roughly. "No, stop! I won't let you take her!"

"I don't think you can stop me." his father chuckled, dragging him back into the darkness. "You shouldn't run off all the time, I get so worried about you, baby doll." Gaap started to kick and scream, hoping in vain that someone was still there at such a late hour. He realized how futile his efforts were the moment he was taken out to the graveyard.

The couple who'd taken him in would worry if he wasn't there in the morning. He was getting the nightgown the gave him dirty, being dragged through the muddy earth of Elizabethan England, away from civilization. Not like anyone would help him if they could hear him, the fucking cowards. And, oh, his baby was kicking so hard. It hurt, all of it hurt, it always did.

How did this bastard find him, anyways? Why do such trivial things come to mind when there's such a crisis? Gaap sobbed quietly, falling limp before being tossed to the ground.

"Aah!" He cried out weakly, sitting up and backing against a grave marker. His night clothes were wet and dirty, the thin, white cotton clinging to him, his hair falling out of its curls. His eyes, cooled to brown, welled up with tears. "Why?"

"I've got too many, you've got bad timing." His father explained, crouching down, using rope to bind his upper limbs to the cross-shaped stone.

"What are you talking about? It has nothing to do with you, you.. y-you-" A familiar glint of moonlight's reflection caught his eye. He glanced at it, finding its source to be the very same knife plunged into his back years earlier. "No."

"Yes, I can't have any more little one's running around right now, your sister's have already gotten me in trouble with your mother, and I'll be tortured half to death if she finds out I got you, too." He ripped the fabric over Gaap's stomach, "And anyways, you aren't developed enough for this. There's no way to explain it all away when you go into labor and they discover you're male. They'll hang you. You're not old enough to live through that."

"Please, no, I'll do anything."

"You've got such pretty skin, it's a shame." Icy metal plunged into his abdomen. Blood gushed out him in a fountain of red, growing as the blade cut through his flesh in a crooked line. He tried to scream, but found himself mute, watching his father's every move as he reached into the wound with his dirty hands and grabbed something inside him. His baby girl and the organ the nourished her were tugged out and displayed on his lap. That was cut open, too. Moloch helped the baby take her first couple of breaths. "What are you going to name her?"

"Ch...C...C-Chastity." He replied in a whimper, staring at her as she wailed in his father's hands. Moloch snorted and brought the infant to Gaap's face.

"Give her a kiss, let her know her mother loves her so much." He demanded. Gaap kissed her forehead, tasting his own blood on his lips. He felt so weak, mind buzzing with emotions and instincts he couldn't explain, all of them being sucked into an abyss of hopelessness as his father pulled his baby away.

"I love you so much, Chastity. Mommy loves you so much no matter what happens." He whispered.

"Oh shut up," Moloch spat, taking his knife to the throat of the baby, letting her blood drain out all over the young mother before dropping the corpse against the back of the next stone, in front of Gaap. He moved closer and kissed the boy's forehead. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

**...**

He couldn't sleep. How could he fucking sleep? Gaap's head hung down against his chest. He was open, vulnerable, weak and thirsty. Otherwise, numbness had fully taken over. He heard footsteps in the distance. They soon disappeared. What was the point?

Though... they did come back. Cybil and Edmund, the one's who had taken him in as their daughter _Samantha_ were following a priest out to where he was. They both demanded to know who did this to him, why he'd left the house so late at night, if he could hear them or respond. He looked up at them, to his baby and back down to his lap.

"Home." He wheezed. Edmund cut the ropes that were digging into his arms and lifted him up. Cybil grabbed his hand, assuring _Samantha_ that they were to take him to a doctor first, then they would go home. Which was what happened.

Gaap didn't eat for nearly a month, and even then Cybil had to force-feed him. He usually stayed in his room, too. However, one evening, he got dressed and ready to join them for supper. He walked down the stairs, making it about half way before hearing an unfamiliar voice.

"They say Samantha's possessed." It spoke softly.

"It's not surprising," Cybil agreed timidly, "She fights so much when we feed her and she still won't tell us who killed the baby."

"Now, now," Edmund joined in, "Don't assume that it's her fault. Would you want to talk about it?"

"Yes!" Cybil said to him, "I'd want the person to be found immediately and hanged."

"The whole town's onto her, too." The third party added, "It's better that you get rid of her now before there's a problem."

"I will not force the girl out of my house after all that's happened. That's absolutely ridiculous." Gaap continued down the stairs slowly, sneaking up behind his adoptive parents and scaring the third. It was a woman, he'd seen her in pictures and knew her as Rebecka, Edmund's cousin. Edmund turn to see what had shocked her to find Gaap there, staring at them with dead eyes, hair still falling slowly from its curls. He smiled.

"How are you doing, Samantha? I haven't seen you down here in a long while." Gaap nodded. "Is something wrong?"

"I was wondering when supper is going to be ready." He spoke quietly. Cybil stood and walked into the kitchen.

"It should be soon," Edmund watched her, "You're going to eat with us?"

"I'm very hungry, father." He looked down. "I wasn't given my breakfast this morning, so I thought mother wanted me to come downstairs to eat. I didn't know we had guests, I'm sorry." He sniffled and walked around to the other side of the sofa Edmund sat on, kneeling in front of him and resting his head in his human father's lap. "I-I.. I just want my Chastity back."

"I know, darling." Edmund's calloused hands stroked the young demon's hair. "It's alright."

"Am I good?"

"You're a very good girl. You'll make someone a fine wife someday, someone who deserves a pretty little thing like you." He smiled down at Gaap.

"If any of them want a girl who has been used before," Rebecka huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Becka." Edmund growled, "It was not her fault, I have explained this beofre, as well as Cybil."

"I don't mind," Gaap whispered to him. "I know better." Edmund chuckled and nodded. "What is mother making?"

"Boiled mutton, I believe."

"Hm." He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "Thank you, Papa."

After a few minutes, when they thoroughly believed that _Samantha_ was resting, Rebecka began to talk about Gaap once more. "A girl shouldn't be so close to her father. Does she even know how to cook?"

"Yes, very well. She has on occasion, usually when Cybil is ill. She sews and mends her own clothes as well."

"I'll believe it when I see it. That girl looks like she's been pampered, and you can't let her grow up without learning the basics of hard work or how to paint her face." She laughed and stood, "Enjoy your time with Papa, little bird, you don't have much left. I'll be with Cybil in the kitchen."

**...**

They ate quietly, Gaap thoroughly chewing his food and holding back his appetite. He was under developed, living in the human realm for so long had stunted it and forced him to eat further alon gin his life than was naturally intended. Cybil and Rebecka watched him.

"Sam?"Cybil said quietly.

"Yes, Cybil?" Anger was another thing to be restrained.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? No fever?" She pushed.

"I'm fine," He repeated, annoyed. They finished in silence and went to bed, sending Rebecka on her way beforehand.

Gaap waited patiently in his bed for an hour or so before getting up again. He walked over to his vanity mirror, in a new nightgown that flowed off of him like the previous, the color slightly off. He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it is curls so loose they were nearly waves, and pulled some of it back into a messy bun. He thought about stealing some of Cybil's cosmetics but remembered that she used them rarely and would notice if he did. Now that he thought about it, all of that ridiculous goop would be difficult to wash off. He tugged on the gown until his shoulders were exposed, making the skirt look longer and spread out around him a couple of inches, lifting it up and taking off the underwear he'd saved from when he first arrived.

He hid them behind his pillow.

Slowly, quietly, he walked down the hall to Cybil and Edmund's bedroom. He climbed on top of the male, thankful for their decision to sleep separately. Edmund groaned and stirred in his sleep. "Papa?" Gaap whispered to him.

"Hm?" He opened one eye. "Samantha? What are you doing?"

"Sh," Gaap leaned forward and kissed his cheek, climbing off of him, "Come to my room." He left and went back to his room. He waited a good five minutes before he was joined.

"What do you need, sweetheart?" Edmund spoke with evident lethargy. He sat beside what he thought was his daughter. Gaap's body temperature rose.

"I have to confess something..." Gaap began. This was the last time he'd lie to someone who cared about him. It was so hard to do, after all, Edmund had done his best to take care of him. But he had to. He had to so Cybil could be taken care of.

"Hm?"

"I'm an angel." He sniffled. "That's why I have no family. I was raped by a demon, so I..." he lifted up his skirt to reveal just how male he really was. "God punished me for tempting him. He killed my baby, and I'll be next if I don't get pregnant again. Papa, you're the only man I know and I love you so much." He sobbed and dropped the lightweight material, letting it slide down his knees. "I'm so scared, I'm not even old enough yet."

"S-Samantha..." Edmund was shocked to say the very least. He reached out, hands shaking, and grabbed the sides of Gaap's face, "What's your real name?"

"My name... Madison." He kept his legs together and glanced down, "Down here, that is. I like being called Samantha."

Something about the boy was so appealing. Edmund leaned closer and inhaled the air around him. Intoxicated after a few repeats of the gesture, he gently laid Gaap down and pulled the nightgown over his head

**...**

It didn't hurt as bad as all of the other times. That is to say, he didn't bleed. But what the experience lacked if physical torment it made up for in guilt and shame. Still, Gaap curled up against Edmund and closed his eyes.

**...**

Months later, Cybil died. She had fallen extremely ill, and such sickness had begun to spread after her passing. It was never meant to go so far. He just wanted to be rid of his lying 'mother'. That was the point of his affair with Edmund. Now people were dropping like flies. Worst of all, he enjoyed it.

Still, they would accuse him. And Edmund would follow them. He had been growing nervous for some time now. Gaap prepared himself for a performance he was very rehearsed in. He had to run, there was no other choice.

Crying, so angry at himself, he left in the middle of the night. Edmund searched for him for about a week, more worried about his reputation than anything. Gaap was no angel, he'd known that since the second time. Stunted growth or not, the demon child was still a demon child and he had to have his fangs come in some time.

**...**

**Note: **_**Long one, yeah? I'll try to get one up sometime tomorrow, maybe tonight if I don't pass out first, I'm really busy though. Woo, run on sentence. So sexy. I really have nothing more to say. Review for tea. Tea is good for you. **_


	5. Perdidit apud Paradiso

**Warnings: **_**Slightly OOC, older Ciel and bi-polar, midget Sebby. Something else, too, but I'm mostly just pointing it out to see if someone will try to guess what happened.**_

**...**

Gaap found himself travelling between Earth and the netherworld quite often throughout the next few centuries. He quickly grew weary of making contracts once he'd been forced into the practice, the beggars made up of nothing more than greedy, pathetic, ignorant cultists. The one's who claimed to worship him for his endless years of work had nothing more to ask for than sex, money and fame. He complied. He had to.

Gaap often found himself wondering if he could be some sort of reverse incubus, giving off some sort of sexual energy that everyone was parasitically thriving off of. He hated it. If he had his way, he'd never stay alone in a room with someone ever again. He always ended up stuck with mortals for what felt like an eternity every time he did, having to bail out of contracts just to get it all to stop long enough for him to think straight.

Running around as a refugee for more than a few years at a time was not how Gaap planned to spend his alone time. He had been re-adopted by a woman around ten years ago. She died for no apparent reason in her sleep and left him with the house. So now he had a home, which was nice, but it was so quiet. Should be thankful to not have to deal with people, but there was no possible way to be happy with his situation since Chastity.

Dressed up, in town to pick a few things up, he was greeted by a rare familiar face every now and again. He'd smile in reply and continue on his way until he reached his destination. It was run by a woman who called herself Mary, though it obviously wasn't her real name. Gaap couldn't remember buying anything there, but he talked to her a lot. She knew quite a bit about his situation and was very calm about it. Probably just another cultist thinking she was talking to a possessed psychopath. _Stupid._

Today was different. There was no browsing through oddities, no quiet talking to the redhead at the front desk, no avoiding people.

Out of nowhere, the sourceless cry of an infant attacked him. Gaap fell over and started screaming and crying uncontrollably, curling up on the floor. He blacked out.

**...**

His eyes fluttered open, body trying to shake off the cold. How was he outside? Rubbing, his eyes, Gaap looked around.

"Nice to see you awake again," Someone, the man carrying him, mumbled. Gaap's head snapped around to look at him. Fairly tall, pale, dark hair and eyes so blue it was... kind of creepy. He smiled back. "They were fighting over what to do about you instead of actually doing something, so I took it upon myself to take you back home."

"Who are you?" Gaap blinked up at him.

The man's smile fell. He paused for a moment, stopping in the middle of his own little path. "Ciel." He finally responded, "You?"

"Sa- _Sebastian_." It had been so long since he'd used an actual name. Too long. Honestly, he was going to call himself Samantha. Internally disappointed, Gaap relaxed his body. "I don't like being carried. Do you even know where I live?"

"I asked before I took you and I don't think it's wise to let you stumble around blindly." Ciel replied. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts. How close are we?"

"We're in the back garden. Near it, anyways." Ciel held him close. "You shouldn't go out without a jacket, you know. You're going to get sick if you don't warm up. Bath?"

"Oh, _I see_." Sebastian glared up at him. "So you want to undress me? I don't owe you anything, Ciel."

"What are you talking about? Don't accuse me of anything," Ciel looked back, annoyed.

"I've met your type, _all types_. Just because I'm _too pretty to be a boy_, I can't be. Because I'm_ so pretty_, I must be _so welcoming _when it comes to my bed. I tell you, I _am not _and I _will not _let you bathe me just so you can get off or rape me or whatever."

Ciel stopped again and sat Sebastian down. "Listen to me, I didn't have to do _anything_ for you. You should be grateful that there was someone in that room that would take you back home and not go shouting accusations. You simply don't know. We've just met."

"Oh, so you don't care about me at all and just want to seem like a good person?" Sebastian teetered and weakly swayed back and forth before collapsing in front of Ciel. Ciel sighed and picked him up again.

"Don't just assume."

"I'll do as I please. I told you that I hate being carried."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "You can't even stand up." He continued towards the back door of the over-sized 'house', ignoring the petty little argument's Sebastian tried to start. He opened the door and walked inside, basing his trip towards the bathroom on nothing more than instinct. "Sit down to undress, don't hurt yourself. Where are your servants?"

"Don't have any, I couldn't trust them." Sebastian mumbled, sitting on the bench usually reserved for towels and struggling to unbutton his shirt through blurry vision. He cursed under his breath and rubbed at them furiously, trying to restore his sight.

"I see." Ciel started the water and watched him. "Do you need help?"

"No, I don't! Leave me alone, I'm fine." Ciel sighed and knelt in front of him, gently sliding the buttons out of their holes and pushing the fabric off of the boy's shoulders. Sebastian struggled.

"Can you get the rest?" He asked. Sebastian's head dropped. "Hm?" His hand came up to brush untamed strands of hair out of Sebastian's eyes, immediately getting smacked away. Sebastian sniffled quietly and looked away.

"I.. I can do it myself."

"Can you?"

"Leave me alone." Sebastian snapped, standing up and forcing the rest of his clothes, climbing into the bath and turning off the water.

"Alright." Ciel blinked, a little shocked, and stood. "What do you want to eat?"

"Doesn't matter." The boy sunk beneath the water. "Just don't drug me and there won't be any problems."

Ciel sighed and nodded, leaving.

**...**

What was he doing? Ciel didn't know how to cook. Seeing as he already said he would, he was really just hoping for the best.

"_C-Ciel_?" Sebastian called from the bathroom. Ciel put down the cooking utensil he was holding (he couldn't quite place the name) and went to go see what was going on.

"What is it?"

"You... forgot to put out towels. And I need help washing my hair."

"Of course." He rolled up his sleeves and went to work, trying to move quickly so the food didn't burn and he didn't get in trouble for enjoying it too much, which seemed very likely. Sebastian calmly complied with each little adjustment Ciel had to make to get his hair clean, watching as he went to the closet on the other side of the room and grabbed a fluffy, white towel. "Stand up."

He did so, letting Ciel pick him up and wrap him in the towel. Sebastian put his head on Ciel's shoulder and sighed. "My room is upstairs, the biggest one."

"Can you dress yourself?" Ciel asked, taking his directions. Sebastian shook his head slightly. "Alright. What do you have for pajamas?"

"There should be a nightgown in one of the drawers. That's all I've had for a while." A very long while. Ciel found it and quickly dressed Sebastian.

"I'll bring you your food, go ahead and get comfortable." Sebastian nodded quietly and crawled under the covers. "Good."

**...**

**Note: **_**I hate pulling characters in, I can never seem to get their personalities right the first time. Hopefully this is passable, as I am exhausted. Two teachers yelled at me for always being late when I can't hold myself up and I ran around with my mom for a couple of hours taking pictures, so... yeah, that took about as much energy as swimming for three hours. I need meat... Review~ **_


	6. Ego Egestas Mea Innocentia Terga

**Warnings: **_**Language, weird, dream things, paranoia and blood... eh, symbolism, too. Fun, yeah?**_

**...**

Ciel returned to find Sebastian sleeping, the blankets kicked down to the end of the bed and his oddly effeminate nightgown riding up. Obviously, he wasn't sleeping very deeply, though he was still at the moment. Ciel moved forward. He placed the tray of food he'd brought with him on the nightstand and began to gently tug the edge of Sebastian's nightclothes down .

Sebastian gasped and sat up. The off-white material twisted around his body in the short struggle and pretty much made his legs useless. He glared at Ciel furiously. "What the hell are you doing?"

"They'd slipped up, I was just trying to fix them for you." He dropped the fabric he had managed to hold onto. "I apologize if I lead you to believe it was something else, but I'm sure I told you that I'm not here to harass you. Your food is ready."

Sebastian glared at him a little longer and grabbed the tray. He ate slowly, repeatedly glancing up at Ciel, who watched for no reason whatsoever. When he was finished, he pushed the tray into Ciel's arms and waved him away. Ciel, grunting, took them back to the kitchen.

Sebastian sighed. "Fixing my clothes? I've never heard that before." He tugged the skirt out from under himself and got his bed straightened out.

"Sebastian?" Ciel knocked on the open door before entering.

"Go home."

"...Why?"

"Why not?" Ciel blinked and sat on the bed. "You really want to live here alone?"

"I leave the house." Sebastian huffed, moving away.

"That's not good enough. You're too young to take care of yourself."

"I don't need anyone to live with me."

"Well that's too bad, then, isn't it?" Ciel looked at him, waiting for an answer. He didn't get one. He stood up and smiled softly at Sebastian, "I'll find another bedroom, come and get me if you need anything."

**...**

_Home._

_Home is where the heart is. But there's no home... so why is there a heart? You're very naive, letting yourself fall ill like that. You could have gotten both of us hurt. Idiot._

_I suppose... No, it doesn't matter. Don't get close to him. You can't get close to anyone. They're all betrayers who will laugh at your stupidity, we've seen it before. _

_Why does it hurt? Idiot. It's a trick, don't fall for it. I suppose if you're really that desperate to get hurt again, go ahead, go see him. Talk to him, be friends. You'll get nowhere._

'What if I... What if I take him when it's my time to go? I haven't eaten in so long...'

_A meal is a meal. What will you do after that?_

'I'll probably kill myself if we do get close, if that is my only choice.'

_You have no choices. Nobody does. There's no free will. There is only ignorance and influence, and you've fallen on the wrong side of the battlefield. Pathetic._

**...**

Sebastian awoke once again, shaking. He swung his slender legs over the edge of the bed and slid off. The unlit hallway was a bit of a challenge, but he managed to walk carefully until he found what was the only other bedroom and open the door. He sniffled.

"Hm?" Ciel opened one eye and looked at him. "Something wrong?" Sebastian shook his head and walked forward, climbing into the bed and under the blanket to curl up next to Ciel.

Ciel sighed quietly and moved over to give him more room.

**...**

_So I'm on my knees here again, being attacked by dried soil. I lift my hands and look at them in the dark, scraped and bloody. I sigh, pushing back a sob deep into my throat. It feels like I've been digging through the piles of gravel for forever, but it appears I've not gotten very far._

_I hear in the background soft crying and heavy, distant static. I look above me and see, speakers. The thought that they would even be here is unbelievable, as they've not been manufactured in this world yet. They're broken, anyways. Nothing's coming out of them. ... So how is this happening? Where is all this chaos coming from?_

_Quickly, I return to my only purpose in this sun's light is leaving me. I don't have enough time. I claw through the razor-like shards of stone. The deep inner layers of the rocks begin to get dark, warm and wet and... _

_No, not this again. I pull my hands away. I can't touch this. My baby. her blood all over my hands. _

_Sirens wail through the stale air, fences surrounding me. Stiffly, I stumble back into another pile of rock. Arms hold me against it, slowly pulling me in as I struggle, flesh cut away from bone by sharp and dirty edges-_

**...**

Ciel shook Sebastian awake, which was rather difficult, considering the young boy's thrashing and hysterical weeping . As he opened his mouth to speak, the younger's eyes snapped open. "Sebastian?"

Sebastian looked away and sobbed. He bit his lip and quickly turned back, "W-what are you doing?"

"What's wrong?" He pulled Sebastian into his lap.

"Get your fucking hands off of me. Now." Sebastian snarled. He sat up the instant Ciel let him go and furiously wiped at his eyes. "All fucking the same."

"What are you talking about..."

"Go back to sleep, it has nothing to do with you." Sebastian climbed out of the bed and ran down the hall to his room.

**...**

**Note:**_** I know it's so much shorter than all of the other chapters (Intro possibly excluded). I'm home sick so... There might be another soon, depends on if I finish some homework or not. Whee~ I can't wait until Friday so I can write these like a boss instead of straining my schedule. Review, it prevents seizures~**_


	7. Non Refert Quid Vobis

**Warnings: **_**Schizophrenic episode, cross dressing, boys kissing and language, I believe. Fun. But, hey, it's pretty long this time**_**.**

**...**

The next few weeks were a blur of violent outbursts. Ciel found himself dodging everything from plates to a chair as Sebastian accused him of trying to touch him inappropriately or something similar. Today felt like it would be part of the same routine. It started out quiet. Sebastian was tossing clothing out of his wardrobe and his dresser drawers.

He walked in as Sebastian sat down on the bed. "Ciel?"

"Yes, Sebastian?" He stayed in the doorway.

"You need to get your clothes if you really plan on staying here." Sebastian spoke quietly. "I want to go somewhere tonight."

"I'll have to buy new ones. Where are we going?"

"Why? What do you have against going home?"

"Just...can't." Sebastian was a bit put off. The only other person in his house was avoiding a question he thought was important. He frowned at Ciel and stood up again.

"Fine." He walked over to his dresser and pulled a jewelry box out of the top left drawer, opening it and counting out money. "Take this, go into town and get something nice. I'll deal with the rest later."

**...**

Ciel took hours to get everything he needed and could afford. No transportation being the cause. He opened the front door and walked in. Light shone the hall from a few sconces that had been lit in his absence. "Sebastian?"

"Change out there, I'm not ready yet." He called from his room. Ciel did so and spent a few minutes afterward waiting.

Sebastian walked out quietly. The rustle following him was perhaps the only thing that really caught Ciel's attention. The young boy stood there wearing a burgundy-colored dress with black satin fishtail detailing on the front of the skirt. The sleeves hung just off his shoulders, beginning with the fabric that made up the body of the dress but consisting mostly of black lace that seem to be attached to the short, wine-colored sleeves. Sebastian's hair was curled and pulled up slightly to one side, heavy makeup on his eyes and lips to complete his little costume. "Don't call me by name. You're my tutor, if anyone asks. Only address me as 'my lady'. Got it?" Ciel nodded. "Good. Is it too much?"

"Where exactly are we going?" Ciel stood and walked over to him.

"You'll see." Sebastian took a step back and looked at the door. "Someone's coming to take us there, we should be outside." Ciel looked him over and nodded.

**...**

Sebastian's long, black fingernails dug into the upholstered seat of the carriage. He stared down at his lap. Ciel watched him carefully, thinking he was going to be sick, though every time he asked, the boy would shake his head and ignore the question. He refused to sit on the same seat as Ciel, let alone speak, and the ride was long.

When they did eventually stop, Ciel had to manage to keep a perfect facade without any practice. He waited for the door to open, climbed out and gently lifted Sebastian out of the carriage. Sebastian's arms immediately wrapped around one of Ciel's, immediately grabbing the attention of the driver. "Ignore him," Sebastian whispered, tugging the older male forward.

The building was warm and well lit inside. Groups of people crowded the main room, most of them nobles that Ciel couldn't exactly put names to. They seemed to either be somewhat early or fairly late, as there was no music and the socializing was kept at a hushed murmur. He looked at Sebastian. The boy seemed increasingly nervous and ill.

"Are you sure you're alright, my lady?" He grabbed the boy's chin and turned his head towards him. Sebastian met him with an utterly vacant expression, hand coming up to brush some of the dark, London blue hair out of his face. "Hm?" He shook his head and moved closer.

"It's nothing." Sebastian mumbled.

"Are you sure? You don't look well..." He nodded and stepped even closer to Ciel.

"Just tired. Something-" The doors at the opposite end of the room flung open. His eyes jerked towards the interruption and watched the band rush in. "Can you dance? I don't want to talk to anyone here."

"No." Ciel looked at him, "Are you crazy? You're asking too much of me all at once." Sebastian stared at him. "What?"

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately. Just do this for me. Please." He looked down, "I can't explain it right now, and I don't want you to ask questions. I will not answer them and it's rude."

"Do you plan to answer me later on, then?"

"No, of course not. I'll never trust you enough." Sebastian feigned a smile and moved Ciel's hand to the small of his back, lacing his fingers with those on the other, "But nobody told me we couldn't pretend. Enjoy yourself, it's your last chance to do so."

The music started up,echoing off of the paper-covered walls and vaulted ceiling. Immediately, Ciel started tripping over himself, trying to keep up with Sebastian while making it look like he was the one leading. It made for a very awkward display. So awkward, in fact, that he ended up tripping and falling, taking Sebastian with him. A few people glanced in their direction when Sebastian started laughing.

"You're really bad at this, aren't you?" He giggled.

"I told you I can't dance," Ciel frowned. "Are you alright?" Sebastian sat up and laughed harder, pulling his knees to his chest.

"I haven't seen anyone_ fall _before. I'm fine." He smiled and stood up, dusting himself off. "And you?"

"I'll be okay." Ciel pulled himself off of the floor as well. "It'd be nice if you showed me how to do this."

Sebastian shook his head and let his smile falter a little. He quietly turned away and headed towards the doorway, disappearing faster than his upbeat mood.

**...**

_He knows._

"No, shut up." Sebastian muttered under his breath, stumbling down the unlit, unfamiliar hallway. His head was killing him, like something was tightly coiled around and crushing his brain.

_You're falling for him, stupid bitch. How could you?_

"Be quiet." It was getting worse. Sebastian nearly lost his balance. Afraid of falling over he leaned against the wall and slowed down.

_He hates you. He's lying._

"No."

_You're just going to let him have you._

_Worthless whore._

"Stop it." He tripped and curled up against a locked door, its paint peeling off. The walls were collapsing down around him.

_This is your fault._

"Please, just stop." His arms wrapped around his waist, knees coming up to his chest. Sebastian frantically kicked his shoes off. They wouldn't let him walk.

_You couldn't keep him if he wanted you._

"Please..."

_You can't do anything. _

_Why are you so worthless?_

The walls couldn't be bending like they were, could they? The ceiling was the floor, the wallpaper was melted and gooey and blocking his exit. He couldn't escape.

_Stupid. You can't protect yourself._

"I can, too. Stop." The taste of blood flooded his mouth, so metallic it hurt. The scent of fire was overpowering, too. The walls... the...

_He'll destroy you. _

_You can't do anything right._

_Why won't you just die already?_

_You have no purpose._

"Stop it!" Sebastian shrieked, covering his ears. "Stop it, s-stop it, stop... st..stop...p-please. I didn't do anything. I couldn't. I-I'll-"

_You'll what?_

"I'll eat the dirt, just leave me alone!" He sobbed and tried to stand up, quickly tumbling over again. Screeching, pounding, laughing, burning... where was the noise coming from.

_It won't work._

"Stop!"

It stopped. Slowly, the walls returned to their symmetrical shape and the noises faded to distant chamber music from somewhere in the building, though Sebastian was so lost now he couldn't remember his way back. The smells and tastes left him soon afterwards. He struggled to his knees.

This wasn't going to-

He vomited. He hadn't eaten all day, all that came up was acid, which only made him gag more. He could hear footsteps heading for him. "L-leave me alone! I said I'd do it, just leave me alone!"

Ciel walked up behind him. "Sebastian? Are you-?" Sebastian's head stiffly and abruptly turned towards him. The boy's eyes widened.

"I said I'd do it... What do I have to do?" He stood up, walking towards Ciel. He stopped, a little more than a foot away from him, and began to cry quietly, "I said I'd let you have what you want, I'd go that low, but you won't leave. I couldn't protect her, I know, but I'll eat what I have left. Please. Please." He looked up at Ciel.

"I don't understand." Ciel spoke softly, reaching out for him. Sebastian let out a sharp, pained gasp, eyes rolling back into his head, collapsing. Ciel caught him just before he hit the ground and lifted him up. He looked around for a moment before running out into the main room, the front yard and to the carriage, climbing in.

The driver looked at them oddly, noticing Sebastian's stockinged feet. He asked what was going on. "Just go back to where we came from." The other man nodded and shut them in.

**...**

Sebastian woke up as they were moving. He with in Ceil's lap, both of his hands over his lower stomach. It felt damp. He lifted them and found blood. "_Ghk_."

"Good, you're awake."

"No..." He whined and buried his face into Ciel's chest. "Don't want it."

"What?" The look of concern on Ciel's face worsened. Sebastian sniffled and shook his head.

"It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"He took my baby." The boy turned his head and looked at his older companion with one eye, makeup running down his face, meticulously-done up hair disheveled. "_I want my baby_."

Ciel didn't know how to respond. Not only could he not pinpoint what was going on, but he didn't think he wanted to. "I'm...sorry." It probably wasn't the best choice to say. Sebastian stared at him, looking absolutely horrified with him.

"Stay with me. They want me to eat her. Don't let me eat her." The younger blinked, fingers grabbing fistfuls of Ciel's clothing, "Please don't let me do it."

"I won't." He falsely assured him, undoing his hair. Sebastian felt his headache begin to go away.

"T-thank you." He pulled himself closer to his older companion, calmly letting him run his fingers through his hair as he made sure he'd gotten all of the pins and hair ties out. He looked back up as Ciel stopped.

"What is it?"

"Thank you." He repeated, leaning up. His face was so close... Sebastian kissed Ciel softly, pulling away hesitantly to rest his head on his shoulder. Ciel stared back in shock. "Thank you," he said one last time before falling asleep.

**...**

Ciel carried him to his room. Trying not to wake him up, he rolled the boy on his side and began undoing to buttons along the back of his dress and pulling it off. He removed the slip that lay underneath. The blood had come from seemingly nowhere. It was clearly there, there was a dark stain on the dress and Sebastian's hand, and a damp spot on the slip, but nothing appeared to be wrong with his body.

_That was impossible._

Ciel grabbed Sebastian's nightgown off of the floor and struggled to put it on him. He eventually succeeded. He removed his own shoes, shirt and jacket and climbed in on the other side, as he had promised the boy in his dazed state. He struggled once more as he tried to pull the blanket from under them, getting annoyed and leaving it alone after only a minute before finally joining Sebastian in sleep.

That slumber wouldn't last long. Ciel awoke to things being desperately thrown around. "_Where is it_?" Sebastian shouted, turning the nightstand on its side.

"Where is what?" Ciel mumbled quietly. Sebastian stared at him with a vacant, terrified expression, similar to one of many from earlier that night.

"The key. I _have_ to eat it. I want her back." He backed away from the bed. "I have to have her back."

Ciel sat up and climbed out of bed, quickly advancing towards Sebastian until the boy could not run. He was breathing heavily. After a moment, Ciel wrapped his arms around the boy and began dragging him towards the bed.

"No! Stop it, I have to!" Sebastian tried to pull away. "You're making me sick. I'm going to be sick. Let me go."

"It's okay, go ahead."

"_No! _Let go of me, please! I want to keep her!" He turned and put his hands on Ciel's chest, pushing him away with all of his strength, which seemed to have drained from him entirely. Realising that, Sebastian immediately fell silent and let himself get pulled into the bed and under the blankets.

He tried to escape from the older man's grasp a little later, kicking and screaming for nearly an hour nonstop. When that didn't work, he tried clawing and biting and finally moved onto crying before he couldn't bear to stay awake and fell unconscious again.

**...**

Sebastian woke up hours later, not remembering ever getting home. Ciel was in his bed, lying in the opposite direction on top of the rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his blurry vision.

Something didn't look right. He leaned forward more and moved Ciel's arm, revealing a waxy, pink scar, too intricate and perfectly shaped to be an accident. He quickly pulled back and pushed himself towards the head of the bed.

Maybe when the man who wouldn't leave woke up, he could ask him. _Maybe._

**...**

**Note:**_** So confusing. Schizophrenic episodes are terrifying. Especially when you get them all the time because you refuse to take medication for it. Of that, I am guilty. Yeah. If you need an explanation, go ahead and ask. I fear it'll take up too much room here. Review because it makes me happy, let's be honest, here. We're all mature people**_**.**_** Here's to hoping this was okay~**_


	8. Totus Ego Sentio est Is Inhumanus Expers

**Warnings:**_** Language? And irritable Ciel. Fun.**_

**...**

Ciel found himself feeling a bit paranoid. Sebastian had been watching him all day without a word and he couldn't exactly remember him blinking. He did his best to ignore it, cleaning up the house as he moved out of the boy's vision. But he'd always appear, right there, no matter what. What a creepy little..._brat._

Now, that wasn't very fair, Ciel knew that. The kid was obviously out of his mind or at least losing it. What with the violent outbursts, night terrors and the little episode from the previous night. It seemed like it'd probably go downhill from there, too.

He moved to the kitchen. Ciel began washing the dishes, dark hair falling from behind his ear into his face. Maybe if the sink was built higher he wouldn't have to bend over like this. Sighing, Ciel stood up straight and brushed it back.

"What's that scar on your side?" Ciel jumped. There that kid was again. Somehow, Sebastian had managed to sneak up behind him and sit on the kitchen counter. His eyes had returned to their intrusive nature and seemed to burrow their way deep into Ciel's soul. That, of course, caused him to take an extra step back.

"What scar?"

"I saw it when I woke up this morning." Still not blinking. Was Sebastian_ trying _to scare him?

"It's nothing." Ciel began to stare back, growing bitter, "What was last night about?"

"What part of it?" Sebastian still couldn't remember. Given his nature, though, he could easily come up with a lie. ...Depending on the situation.

"The screaming, crying, puking, pleading and kissing me to top it all off." The adult's arms folded across his chest.

"What?" Sebastian jumped down from his perch. "You took advantage of me because I was... _You took advantage of me_?"

"What were you, exactly? I didn't take advantage of you, you kissed me."

"Liar." Sebastian walked forward and shoved Ciel up against the stove, "I wouldn't kiss scum like _you_ if my life depended on it. I deserve_ so _much better than some brat trying to push me around. _You_ do not fuck with me._ I _am_ your _superior. _I_ own_ you_."

"No you don't." Ciel pinched the bridge of his nose. "What are you talking about, what do you need to do to feel better?"

"There's nothing anyone can do." Sebastian pulled him, by his collar, to the kitchen floor. "Don't go playing with the darkness. The darkness does not take kindly to it, especially when low-life filth like you think they're so much better. You're not. _You're weak_. You won't win, so learn your place."

"Can I at least have an answer to the first part?"

"What? I think you know very well what I'm talking about, if you'd just think about it."

"No," Ciel stood up, "You can't just say things and expect me to understand."

"Watch me." Sebastian stormed out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. Ciel heard the bath turn on immediately and just sort of stared at the door. If Sebastian didn't show up somewhere in a couple of hours, he'd probably drown himself, which made for a good argument for going to see what was wrong. On the other hand, he had started acting like a little bitch for no reason whatsoever.

That really wasn't the case, however. True, Sebastian had the bath filling up with water that could blister any one's skin, bu he didn't plan on acting on any suicidal thoughts. It was far past the chance for that to work, and it was stupid anyways. He grabbed a pair of scissors out of the cabinet where his recently deceased companion kept her medication.

_If only to calm them..._

He grabbed his hair, now reaching waist length, and twisted it, pulling it over one shoulder and beginning to cut it. Curls fell to the floor in a tangled mess. Sebastian's hair was a little asymmetrical and didn't exactly reach his shoulders now that they were separated. He turned to the mirror and stared at himself. His reflection glared back at him pitifully. "How _dare_ you."

His next move was to turn the water off and climb in, clothes being carelessly discarded to the floor beside his amputated hair. There was too much water. Some of it flowed over the edge of the bath and onto the floor. It didn't matter. Sebastian turned on his side and curled up beneath the cloudy water, closing his eyes.

**...**

Finally out of things to do, Ciel knocked on the bathroom door. "Sebastian?" No reply. "Come on, you're going to shrink in there." Still nothing. He tried the handle. It wasn't locked. Sebastian wasn't in the bath either. Ciel sighed, very annoyed, and tried the bedroom, which was locked. He tried to get Sebastian to open the door, but still didn't get a reply.

And so Ciel set out to look for a skeleton key of some sort, with no result. Just wasted time. He sat across the hallway and watched the door as it grew dark.

"-my baby..." Sebastian mumbled from the other side of the door. Ciel shot up and tried the door, getting it to open after a bit of a struggle. Sebastian was curled up on the bed in an oversized, gray dress shirt and women's thigh socks, his nightgown torn to shreds and even burnt in some places, body coiled around a dark and polished wooden box. The boy whined in his shallow slumber and lazily pulled himself off of the mattress long enough to get under the blankets and hide his body and the container.

"Sebastian." Ciel half-barked, not knowing what to expect if he really did wake the kid up.

"No, I'm sick." Sebastian mumbled back, turning onto his other side.

"You don't feel good?" When he didn't answer, Ciel sat on the bed next to him. "Hm? Why did you cut your hair?"

"Go away."

"No, you're sick." He pressed the back of his hand against the younger male's forehead, "You've got a fever. Do you need anything."

"Go _away_," Sebastian groaned again, sinking further beneath the covers.

"Would you like another blanket, at least?" There was a long pause before Sebastian nodded and rolled onto his stomach. "Alright. Let me go get the one from my room."

Sebastian sat up, shivering, as soon as Ciel left. He grabbed the box of his daughter's ashes off of the bed and kissed it before placing it on the bedside table, burrowing beneath the bedclothes again. As if on cue, Ciel returned with the spare blanket.

"I'm going to stay in the room with you, okay? I just want to keep an eye on you, nothing more. You can have me leave at any point if you want." Sebastian sighed and nodded.

"Go ahead and get in bed, it's going to be a cold night." He mumbled, shifting as the second blanket was neatly spread over him. Ciel complied to avoid argument.

"Why did you cut your hair?" He pushed.

"Why do you have a scar on your side?" Sebastian retaliated. Ciel shook his head.

"Don't concentrate so hard on meaningless things. Go to sleep."

**...**

**Note: **_**About fluffy... Woot. Probably not the best, but hey, you try writing through all the voices. I'm going to bed. Review so the weekend comes sooner and I can update like a sir~**_


	9. Optimum Salus in Timere

**Warnings: **_**Cliffhanger. Language. Something really weird towards the end. I'm so tired I can't see straight. I'll try and make up for it tomorrow. **_

**...**

_The ground is uneven. Your world is crumbling beneath you. Why do you insisted on living in the very hourglass leeching your time away? Just be careful. Suicide will not be tolerated._

Sebastian opened his eyes. Ciel had fallen asleep beside him and gave him something to stare at. Nothing particularly interesting, sure, but the man's face stole his concentration and muffled the circular speaking in his mind.

_Don't let him fool you._

"Shut up," Sebastian grumbled to himself. He still was not warm enough to sleep, he hadn't been since he first climbed into bed, and his efforts to warm himself had inevitably a very desperate attempt to add on to what heat he could find, Sebastian pressed his body against the adult's. "I swear on my grave, if you do anything to me, accidental or not, I will castrate you with a dirty tea spoon."

Ciel smiled.

"Prick."

**...**

Ciel opened his eyes late into the morning. Sebastian's fever had gotten worse since the night previous, all color besides the light flush on his cheeks completely drained from him. "Sebastian," He addressed the boy quietly, mumbling into his ear, "Get up, we have to go somewhere."

"No..." Sebastian whined, wrapping his arms around Ciel's neck. "Stay. Sleep."

"You can sleep on the way there, we have to."

"Leave me...here."

"Don't think so. Tell me what you want to wear." Sebastian shook his head, pulling himself closer, "Come on."

"Purple."

"Purple what?"

"Camisole? Shorts... Stockings and my shirt." The boy's head nuzzled into his chest. "Be careful. Bruises."

Confused, Ciel nodded and pried Sebastian off of him. He had no idea where Sebastian kept the particular items of clothing he wanted to wear and ended up having to pull everything out of his place until he found them. Aware of just how easy it was to convince Sebastian of his supposed perfidiousness, he took his time to unbutton the dress shirt he'd slept in and slipped the silk and lace undershirt and maybe-too-short, black shorts on him without making skin contact.

After that meager success, he struggled with putting the dress shirt back on over his new little outfit and wrapped Sebastian up in one of the blankets. "Can we get a ride."

"Leave me alone." Sebastian mumbled, letting his head roll to the side. "Just go out there, they'll be there."

And he was right. There was someone waiting for them outside. Ciel, somewhat shocked, told the driver where to go and, wehn he got a cold stare in return, got in, keeping Sebastian in his lap.

**...**

Gasping like a revived drown victim, Sebastian shot up. "Ciel?"

"Hm?" Ciel woke up, too, having curled up on the floor of the carriage.

Sebastian's eyes darted around the box-like interior before falling on Ciel, vibrant red meeting with the dark blue that still made him feel uncomfortable. "Where are we going?" He struggled around inside of his blanket cocoon, "You scared me to death."

"To see someone. I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up. You need your rest."

Sebastian tugged the blanket off and looked down at himself. He immediately saw that he was dressed far more appropriately than he remembered being. After shaking off the surprise, he moved his gaze back to Ciel and glared silently.

"What?" Ciel blinked and sat up, the carriage slowly coming to a stop.

"What did you do to me." The crimson in Sebastian's eyes seemed to grow infinitely more intense.

"Nothing. I only dressed you."

"I don't believe you." So _blunt._

"Why not? Do you feel like I did something?"

"You know better, Ciel."

The adult got on his knees and wrapped the blanket around Sebastian. "I was given full permission. And even if I hadn't, I'm not letting you freeze to death any faster than you are now."

"Why should you care? You're not supposed to see me undressed." The boy shoved him away, standing and jumping out when the door was opened for them. "Stay out of my room."

"Where do you think you're going? You don't even know where we are."

"That's not important." _Kill him_. "No." Sebastian froze in his place and turned to stare at Ciel as he moved closer.

"Hm?"

"I don't want to kill you."

"What are you..." Ciel picked him up and cradled him, walking towards his Aunt's manor.

Sebastian began muttering to himself, voice becoming louder and clearer with every other word, though not much, "Demons are demons because they listen to the voices. Humans are humans because they ignore and distort them. Angels are Angels because they made them. God is God because he controls them. I am myself because I fight them. I don't want to kill you. Put me down."

"No." Ciel knocked on the front door with a little difficulty. He was let in by a well dressed man with long, brunette hair and round glasses, who quickly lead them to one of the many sitting rooms in the manor as soon as the door had be shut. Something was off about him, he was tripping over himself on a constant basis just moving down the hall. Sebastian watched him and let out a murmur of a laugh. "Hm?"

Looking vaguely amused, Sebastian shook his head. What little emotion was displayed quickly faded from his face as he turned to look at the man who carried him. Once more, his hand came up and brushed some of the hair out of his eyes. "Where are we?" He whispered, curling up against Ciel. His hand came up to hold Sebastian's head to his chest, almost on instinct. "Ciel?"

"It's none of your concern. Just relax, alright?"

"Oh, Ciel!" An older woman with shockingly red hair, dressed in the very same color, rushed into the room and hugged him, crushing the boy between them. "Why must you always go disappearing on me? I was so worried about you."

"Sorry." He said, struggling, "Could you...?"

"Oh, yes," She pulled back and laughed sheepishly. Her gaze settled on Sebastian. "Who is this?" Sebastian stared back at her.

"He's-"

"His master," the boy cut Ciel off, "He belongs to me." He flashed a dirty look at her and turned away.

"You'll have to excuse him," Ciel followed up quickly, "He's fallen ill and I came to ask for help."

The woman in red laughed quietly in surprise and nodded, pulling her servant aside. The butler nodded and glanced at Sebastian, smiling, before following her out. Ciel turned to look at the boy as well, finding him as he was a few nights before. Nothing but a numb, desolate expression.

"Is something wrong?" he sat down.

"I don't want to do it." Sebastian sat up and bent forward, resting his head on his knees and successfully bending himself in two. Ciel sighed and began to rub his back. "Mn."

"Do you want me to stop?" He quickly pulled his hand back.

"No." Sebastian slid down and rolled over so his belly was lying flat across Ciel's lap, pushing his outermost layer down to his hips. His strappy undershirt rode up just below his ribcage. The small of his back was exposed. Ciel quietly confirmed his 'privilege' and continues to rub Sebastian's back.

The boy's fever seemed to get worse.

"Maybe-nh. Not that low. Maybe It's just..." Sebastian turned his head and looked at Ciel. "Why do you hate me?"

"I never said that I did." Ciel absentmindedly slipped the tips of his fingers under Sebastian's camisole.

"Then stop. You won't be the first, you're not doing anything special, you wouldn't if I let you. You shouldn't even be going this far. This is my fault." The boy turned his head the other way, "It's always my fault. I don't get what's so appealing. I see absolutely nothing but a repulsive, sick child every time I look in the mirror, like I'm afraid to grow. If I grow, I have to fight the monsters. I don't want to fight them, I won't win."

He took a deep breath and whimpered, Ciel's hand pushing the royal purple silk further up his back. "I don't want to be what I am. Sure. When I grow up, I'll be unbeatable, I'll destroy everyone in my way. But I have to do things that I don't want to. Things I have done before, over and over, like a cheap prostitute, but weren't accepted by my body. Nothing is happy with me. The voices in my head are growing hands and pulling me beneath the surface and they want me to drown inside thoughts of you for reasons I don't understand," another choppy inhale, "But at the same time, they're telling me you're just going to do the same thing."

Ciel stopped and looked down at his hand. He pulled it back, finding splotchy bruises spattered everywhere on Sebastian's back. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"It hurts a lot. Because if you're what I'm supposed to die inside of, I never will. I'll never trust you enough to even let you do this. Right now I'm standing on the tense divide between controlling the voices and falling prey to them." He rolled off of Ciel's lap and his the floor hard. After five minutes of being stared at in shock, he rolled over and got onto his knees, shaking.

Layers of voices, different ages, accents, sexes, all voices, seemed to poor out of his mouth, screaming and whispering the unimaginable. Sebastian's eyes rolled back into his skull, something sticky and black starting to fill his constantly speaking mouth and dribble down his chin.

_We'll purge you._

_You will be nothing._

"How _dare_ you..." He whimpered beneath it all.

_How dare he say he loves you._

"Y-you _don't_ love me."

_Make him._

**...**

**Note: **_**Bwahaha, you have to wait AGIAN. Because I was sent to bed early last night and didn't finish this until now (I just got home). So.. yeah. What happens now, you think? Tell me because I love you~**_


	10. Hoc Fames Penitus de Me

**Warnings: **_**Language and something to do with infanticide. **_

**...**

"I can't make him."

_Yes you can. Hurt him. Make him obey. _

"I won't do it."

_Your daughter..._

Sebastian weakly threw himself over so he was sitting with his back facing Ciel. His shaking hands came up and covered his mouth as he began to violently cough. The sticky, tar-like substance slipped through his fingers and dripped like molasses onto the few inches of exposed skin on his thighs. He sobbed quietly and struggled to stand, stumbling to the wall and sliding down. There was no way he was making it out of the room.

Ciel watched on, horrified for the most part. The man was worried, too, but he couldn't help. He didn't have the slightest idea of what was going on. The boy curled up against the wall, hardly able to breathe, probably choking, rocking himself back and forth.

Suddenly, he stopped.

Sebastian whined softly and pulled his hands away from his mouth, strings of dark, shiny mucous connecting the different parts of his body. "Are you okay?" Ciel stood and slowly walked to him, crouching at his side. Sebastian shook his head, pulling his hands to his chest. "What is it?"

"I wanna go home," His voice sounded so brittle.

"Tell me what's going on and I'll take you home."

"My head hurts. You won't understand if I tell you, Ciel. Take me home and take care of me until I die. It won't be long now. I've betrayed all of them just by being confused about you."

"What?"

"Your parent's would be so proud of you, wouldn't they? Being so _selfless_ and_ innocent _all of your life. That's how it is, isn't it? You couldn't hunt down so many people on your own once you manged to escape, so you hide _all of that anger_." Sebastian stopped and let out a shuddering sigh, "If we were ever together, I would say it's okay to hit me. Because I could take that. Physical violence is nothing. It's the other stuff that you're lucky enough to forget about. How did you do it? I want to forget, too. That's all...All I want for my..." His eyes fluttered and closed. Sebastian's head rolled to the side and rested against the wall as he tore through to the deepest level of unconsciousness.

Ciel stared at him for what was probably an eternity, waiting until the child began to stir before he lifted him and carried him back to the sofa. His Aunt returned by herself. They quietly discussed most of the situation, the little normal things Ciel couldn't explain, and agreed to have her visit Sebastian's home so he could rest. After a quick, crushing embrace, Ciel piggy-backed Sebastian outside and hoisted him into the carriage.

**...**

Sebastian woke up, finding Ciel by his side, reading. "It's about time you woke up."

"How long have I been sleeping?" He sat up, finding himself in a set of clean, lavender-tinged pajamas, "Where did these come from?"

"Three days, and I had my aunt bring them over when we returned home. They're new. I bathed you a few hours ago, if that's alight. You can't afford to become any more ill than you already are. Lie back down, I'll get you something to eat," Ciel sat up, placing his bookmark on the page he'd been pretending to read for a good twenty minutes, "We have things we need to talk about."

Sebastian didn't listen. He slipped out of bed and followed Ciel into the kitchen. He stood there forever, leaning against a wall to keep himself up. Ciel turned to walk back into the bedroom, planning on telling Sebastian that he had a few minutes, only to meet eyes with him the instant he turned around. "What do you want to talk about?"

"How do you know about my parents?"

"I know a lot of things." Sebastian pushed off of the wall and managed somehow to stumble gracefully into Ciel's torso, wrapping his arms around him, "I didn't mean to upset you. I don't know much about them. I know they're not with you."

"How?"

"You would have taken me to them, wouldn't you? Instead of the woman who you've called your aunt. Mommy and Daddy are better than anything to their child, no matter the child's age." The boy nuzzled his stomach. "You were lucky. You don't even know. ...Ciel?"

Ciel stared down at him for a while. "What?" He didn't bother to mask the little note of anger in his voice.

"Do you think... If I wasn't crazy, would I be a good mommy?" With new-found strength, Sebastian crushed Ciel's waist, whimpering, "I just have to hear it sometimes. I didn't get to prove myself, I just want someone to tell me I wouldn't have failed her if I could have fought."

Ciel sighed and lifted Sebastian off of the floor. "I honestly couldn't tell you, Sebastian."

"Then you should put me down."

"Why is that?"

"You'll never be what I want if you can't lie to me to keep me from doing things I cannot otherwise control." He pushed himself away from Ciel, landing on his feet hard. "I suppose it's fine. For you. You'll never understand. You'll never have to hear the voices in your own head telling you to_ eat _the remains of your _murdered child_, never have to try and make sense of a fucking _seizure_, never have to have your spine expand out of your skin, have horns grow out of your head, have to take a file to your fangs because you never use them. You're the lucky one here and you're being selfish. One little lie-"

"Lying will get you nowhere." Ciel interrupted quietly.

"Yeah, and neither will being perfect." Sebastian stormed out of the room shouting, "You better stay out of my room tonight. Sick or not, you have no right," as he stomped angrily down the hallway.

**...**

Ciel walked down the hall to collect Sebastian's dishes. The food was untouched. There came a soft crying from the opposite side of the door. Sebastian started quietly blubbering and talking to himself, throwing something at the door. Ciel jumped back.

After waiting for a few minutes, he carefully opened the door so as to be able to dodge whatever else could be thrown. When nothing was, he looked inside. Sebastian sat like a statue on his bed, clinging to his little wooden box. "Are you alright?"

"I thought I told you not to come in here." Ciel continued forward and sat on the bed. "You need a haircut, Ciel."

"I'm sorry." Sebastian shook his head. He produced a key from under his pillow, a necklace, a locket shaped like a casket with tiny white flowers sculpted and painted on the front, on a long, white ribbon. He rolled it around in his hands, pushing a little button on the side. The front popped open. The locket held a little gray figure of an angel, a child, inside of it. Sebastian smiled down at it, using it to unlock the box.

"The cause of all of my mess. I was a bad mommy. I let her daddy take her away from me and so this happened to me. I got to watch my only baby die. I... I-I cut that stupid part of me out and got rid of it and the seizures started." He opened it, moonlight sonata beginning to play quietly. "There were a lot of things that happened after that because of my father, next thing I know, I'm hearing voices telling me to do things even I can't imagine myself doing."

"Like what?" Ciel climbed around Sebastian and pulled him close, the boy's back against his chest.

"Like-" He grew tense, "There was a woman, the woman who gave me this house. She had a baby when she called me here..."

"Called you..."

Sebastian shook his head again, "She wouldn't take care of he. That stupid bitch had a child, the best thing that could happen to anyone and she didn't care. Not even when I lost control of myself and I cooked her for her. I put the baby in the oven and all she did was push her plate away." He leaned into Ciel and stared up at the ceiling, "And that's not the worst part, but I can't say much more right now."

Ciel turned Sebastian onto his side, holding his head to his chest. They were quiet for hours, the music box winding down and stopping. Finally, the man sighed, "You know what I think?"

"Hm?" Sebastian had his eyes closed, trying to force sleep on himself.

"I think, if you had the chance, crazy or not, you'd make a good mother. If you had the right father to balance you out."

"You don't mean that. ... But thank you. Your Mommy and Daddy would be proud."

**...**

He started to shake sometime late into the night. Ciel opened his eyes and sat up straight, watching Sebastian begin to jolt uncontrollably. His eyes snapped open, rolling back into his head. And he screamed.

**...**

**Note: **_**So... Sebastian cooked a baby. And he's kind of having an episode. Or is on the verge of another. Eye of the storm much? And for anyone needing a very slight idea of what little Sebs looks like, there's a link at the top of my profile. Tell me if it doesn't work. Review? Please?~**_


	11. Cerebrum Lotis Innocentia

**Depending on feedback, I may edit this chapter to make it better later on. Also the first chapter title that is 100 percent original.**

**Warnings: **_**Guess who! And biting... and quiet Sebastian. And another guess who. Just read it already.**_

**...**

With that scream, the shaking stopped and he seemed to go peacefully back to sleep. Ciel sighed and fell back onto the bed. "Don't go to sleep, yet."

"Hm?" He opened one eye. There was another, older man on the edge of the bed. "Who are you?"

"Doesn't matter." He leaned towards them. What little light hit him reflected off of his pale-blonde hair. It looked like someone had painted black into it, full of messy streaks and all. His eyes remained hidden above his wide smile, though flashed through parting strands of hair. "Just don't tell him you saw me. He's such a pain, yeah?"

"N-not... not really." Ciel opened the other eye, sat up and moved away.

"Ah. You're a brave one, then. Lucky for you, the imbecile broke himself. So after he stops throwing fits to get pity and does something to convince you to sleep with him, you won't have a child to take care of." Sebastian stirred and whined. "Oh, poor baby. S'your own fault. Anyways, I'm here to offer you something to get him to stop."

"And that would be?" Ciel was much too tired for this. The other man chuckled and stood.

"You want it?"

"It would be nice, yes. Doing perfectly normal things and having to worry about being injured for doing so isn't really how I planned on spending my time."

"Then it's already done."

**...**

Something had indeed changed in Sebastian. He woke up and politely asked Ciel to help him dress , showed him how to cook what he wanted for breakfast and clamly explained that they were leaving again that evening. Later, closer to their dedicated leaving time, he asked if Ciel wanted to see him in a dress again and seemed disappointed when Ciel replied with a comment about not really caring.

"Do you want to wear one?" He asked, leading the boy to his room. "I won't force you not to."

"It doesn't matter. I'll just find something nice. It would be too much to ask for help with a wig, anyways, I don't know what I was thinking." Sebastian slowly shook his head, "I don't know why I would, that's stupid.I'll just find something nice so we can go."

"It isn't stupid if that's what you want."

"I don't want it." He opened the bedroom door and walked in, shutting it carefully. "I'll be done in a moment." Ciel waited outside quietly until the door open.

Sebastian wore a boned, very dark purple waistcoat with polished, silver buttons over a black, silk shirt, decorated with lace, wearing slacks long enough to cover the heels he was wearing to make him nearly Ciel's height. Five feet four inches to a good 5' 11", five inches below Ciel.

"You look nice."

"Thanks, I guess... You, too." Sebastian smiled. "Let's go. The driver's been waiting on us and I don't think he likes me much." Ciel nodded and let Sebastian lead him down the hall. "Wait!" He stopped and ran back to his room, returning with a large, purple chiffon bow, pinning it to the back of his slacks. "Sorry. Just want to look like myself."

Ciel chuckled and nodded. Sebastian clung to his arm and pulled him along and outside. "Do I still need a haircut?" Ciel mumbled to him.

"No, I like it." Sebastian climbed into the horse-drawn vehicle and sat down. He pushed Ciel down on the seat opposite and stared at him as they began to move.

More than just a little creeped out, Ciel turned away, "Is something wrong, Sebastian?"

"No. Bad dream, I guess. You know how to make tea, yeah?"

"Hm? It can't be that hard." Sebastian looked down. "Can it?"

"No."

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"I just don't feel very well, it's fine." The boy shook his head. "I'm fine."

**...**

This little gathering didn't consist of a large, fancy room or a lot of people in fancy clothing. Sebastian looked a bit overdressed compared to a few of the others. An older man, Indian by the sound of his accent, caught sight of him and walked over, smiling. He and Sebastian talked quietly, going over Ciel's stay. Sebastian introduced them and went to sit down. The man followed.

Ciel paused and did so as well.

"Ciel?" Sebastian looked up at him from the chair he was seated in. He stood and patted the cushion. Ciel took a seat, the boy almost jumping into his lap. He tugged a piece of chiffon off of his bustle-bow hybrid and tied Ciel's hair back with it. "You're okay, yes?"

"Yes, of course, why?"

"Just wanted to know." He put his chin on Ciel's shoulder and sighed. "I haven't been here in a while. It's nice to get out of the house without having to worry about other people." Ciel nodded. "Especially the one you were talking to last night."

"You knew?"

"He was my father, of course I knew. You didn't get a very good look at his eyes, I'm guessing. He's getting old, there's not much color left. Same goes with his hair. There used to be a lot more black in it, but his body is just as messed up as his mind, so he's aging. I should look older, he's looking like he's in his early fifties."

"I think you look fine."

"I should be your age. I don't want to."

Ciel laughed quietly. "It's not that bad."

"If I grow up, I have to take care of myself and I'm not ready to. Obviously." Ciel smiled. "What?"

"It's rather cute."

"No it isn't, it's pathetic."

"Ah." His smile fell.

"I'm thirsty. Could you get me some... wine or something?" Ciel nodded and lifted Sebastian up, setting him down on his feet and wandering around the room until he found the door to the kitchen. Sebastian sat down once he disappeared.

**...**

"I like having you around, y'know." Sebastian stared into his third glass of wine, a blush of some sort. "It's like having a mental necromancer."

"What do you mean?" Ciel crossed his legs.

"Drowning, dying, losing touch with reality. It all feels the same." Sebastian took a sip from his drink. "That buzzing pressure in your skull, the inability to breathe deep enough, the hallucinations. You feel helpless. I'll say it again, you're one of the lucky ones. Hm."

Ciel stared at him, blinked and looked at his glass, "Something wrong?"

"We should go home before I do something stupid again. Like last time."

"Like kiss me?" Sebastian looked up at Ciel and glared. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I do things I shouldn't, I'm aware of that. Just take me home, I'm ready for bed. The carriage will be outside waiting for us." Ciel tried to talk him out of it, reminding him of what he said about it being nice to get out and that the chance may not come up again for a while. When he failed, he had Sebastian write a note to the host and carried him outside.

They rode home in silence, Sebastian leaning and starting to fall asleep against Ciel. He stirred as they neared the house, groaning quietly. "It hurts."

"What does?" Ciel turned to the boy and lifted his chin. Sebastian sniffled and pushed his hand away, letting his head fall.

"You wouldn't understand."

"I can try-"

"Ciel, stop it. I just need some rest." The man nodded, stroking his hair.

"Then get your rest. I'll carry you inside and change you."

"N-no. You don't understand..."

"I don't have to." Sebastian moved way from him. "Please tell me why not, then."

"It's not safe right now. I don't want to risk disfiguring you." Sebastian jumped out of the carriage and stumbled towards the front door, collapsing against it. Ciel followed quickly behind to pick him up. "You're so stupid..."

"I don't think so. I think you're being stupid for letting yourself fall over."

"I don't care what you think." Sebastian huffed and buried his face in the crook of Ciel's neck. "You'll get hurt, so I am right, and you are an idiot."

"Prove it."

"You really want me to?" Ciel nodded, carrying Sebastian inside and down the hall. "_Idiot_." He buried his face deeper into Ciel's neck. Ciel grunted in discomfort, stopping in front of the bedroom.

Sebastian stopped moving for a moment. No noise. No movement. He opened his mouth. Still nothing. Sebastian quickly sank his pointed fangs deep into Ciel's neck and latched on. Ciel gagged and stumbled back, falling over, giving Sebastian the opportunity to wrap his legs around the adult's waist. A low, inhuman growl escaped from his throat as he slowly pulled away.

Ciel had fallen unconscious within a few minuted due to blood loss. Sebastian- Gaap licked over the wound and constricted his body as tight as he could, falling asleep with him.

**...**

**Note: **_**And we're two-steps-in-one-step-back between the eye and the intense part of the storm. This would have been up earlier (and here comes the excuse) but I've been studying for ACTs. That's also why this might seem a little rushed and awkward because I was trying to do it in the 15 minute breaks my mom was giving me. I hate school. Review. **_


	12. Sanabit Nullam Dulce

**As with the last chapter, there's a possible edit in the future.**

**Warnings: **_**Language, weirdness in general. Please read the note at the end, it says a lot of important stuff.**_

**...**

Through a fog. Ciel was waking up through a fog. He felt different. Sebastian was curled up on top of him, the tiny little line of blood drawn down from the corner of his mouth smeared and dried an odd, brown color. His neck hurt. Ciel reached up to rub the wound on his neck to find nothing more than a subtle few healing bumps.

_So much for disfigurement. _

Sebastian sat up, still mostly asleep if not completely, and crawled into his room. Confirming a semi-decent amount of consciousness, he undressed and climbed into bed nude. Ciel pulled himself up off of the floor and followed him in, pulling the blanket up to his chin. "A little crazy, yes, but it didn't hurt. You shouldn't worry so much, kid."

"Mmlook in the mirror..." Sebastian rolled across the bed, twisting the blanked around himself. Ciel thought about it and did, coming face to face with what, for an instant, looked like a stranger. His right eye was different. He staggered back and continued to stare his new reflection down. Sebastian walked in and grabbed a hairbrush of the counter. "Did I clean all of the blood off? You stained the carpet, you know."

"Whaa..."

"When I bit you."

"You did more than that," Ciel picked Sebastian up and sat him on the counter. "_What did you do to me_?" The boy smiled softly and leaned up to kiss over his eye.

"I _warned_ you. You didn't listen, so I marked you. I-I can't take it back." Sebastian fell forward, limp, his head against Ciel's chest, "I'm sorry. Really, I am."

"What is it, though?" The adult pushed him back up.

"Well, if you want to know everything, it's a sort of... link between us. It's meant to be used as a sexual thing, but that isn't my intention." The child moved back and curled up on his side. "I just don't want you to leave me. I want you to protect me, even if that means fighting one of the worst things to exist." He yawned. "Even if it means we're '_mates_' and will have to stay together until one of us ends."

"I still don't...understand."

"It's understandable." He looked up at Ciel. "You have nothing against being with me, do you?"

"In some ways, yes, I do," Ciel sighed and looked down. "You expect me to go around looking like this?"

"I'll get you a bandage for it or something, I'm sorry it's so visible, I just-" Sebastian sniffled quietly, "It's really a curse. I mean it. I shouldn't even let you stay around, never should have."

Ciel paused, thinking before jumping up next to Sebastian. "That's not good enough. You could have asked, for one thing."

"And if you said no? I want you_ forever_. I can't exactly ask for an eternity with one single person. And I get it, you don't understand, because nobody, living or dead, ever does or did until it was too late." Sebastian sat entirely still for a good ten minutes, Ciel mimicking this, until he slid off of the counter, "It's better if I leave now. You don't have anything for me yet."

Ciel waited for him to leave. When he didn't, he jumped down as well and grabbed him from behind. "What on_ earth _do you mean?"

"God _damn it_, Ciel, you just- _Fine_. Something in my mind wants me to be in love with you. It's only in my nature to do something to tie you to me. And,_ yes_, I want you here forever, but I _don't_ want to _love_ you because you're going to be like everyone else and not return the fucking favor."

There was a very long pause.

"You saw my father, caught his attention somehow. You're just a suicide attempt for an immortal monster." Sebastian struggled free and shuffled out of the bathroom.

"Sebastian!" Ciel called out, stomping out after him, "You aren't a monster, you're sick-"

"I screwed some poor, god-fearing soul to kill his wife. I started the fucking plague, I put an infant in the oven because mine was murdered in front of me and removed a part of my body with my bare hands as punishment. I'm a monster." Sebastian turned around and stared him down. Ciel sighed.

"You're sick and you don't know what you're talking about, Sebastian." He shook his head.

"You are _so_ naive. I don't even know what I saw in you." Sebastian started walking, nearly running, in reverse, forcing himself into a crowded coat closet. Ciel slowly turned away and walked to the kitchen.

If Sebastian was going to throw a fit, he was going to meticulously clean something so he could ignore it and keep his patients. And this seemed like it was going to be _one hell of a temper tantrum_.

**...**

"You want to know something funny?" Sebastian hissed from behind Ciel. He jumped and hit his head on the table.

"_Ow_," He slid out from under it and rubbed his head, "What do you want? Go back to your closet."

"You're going to find it impossible to become physically aroused by anyone but me. So... I guess the upside to that is nobody will want to run away with you. I don't know, it made _me_ smile." Sebastian tilted his head, looking more like a child than he ever had before. Ciel stood up and looked at him, very confused.

"Prove it."

"Fine. I'll buy you a prostitute tonight. She'll come home with us and I'll have her preform everything she's good at for you." His hands rested on his hips, "As I will be watching, I'll know whether you get aroused or not."

"Okay... Two questions."

"Go ahead," Sebastian flashed a cruel smirk and tilted his hips.

"Why can I _not_...? And just _why_ do you have to watch?"

"Because you're a_ liar_. It's in your blood and I can _smell _it on you." He turned around and laughed quietly, "As for your former question, I can't have _my mate _getting anyone else pregnant. As a demon in my station, that would be horrible and nobody would listen to me. Oh, the humilliation."

"Fine then. Let's go."

**...**

What an awkward ride home. Ciel had decided against their little agreement from earlier, Sebastian seeing this as a reason to call the adult out on his supposed bluff. Which it wasn't. The thought of having a child buy him a prostitute to preform various sexual acts on him while he watched to prove that he basically couldn't get it up for anyone other than the kid was more than a little creepy. But, of course, Sebastian wouldn't listen, would thing he was right no matter what Ciel's argument was.

Thinking about it, Sebastian really had changed since the man, apparently his father, had broken in. And not for the better. At first, yes, it seemed that they were going to get along just fine, but then something in him snapped and now Ciel was basically a fancy sex toy that did the laundry. Trophy wife. Ciel Phantomhive had somehow ended up as a 12-year-old's trophy wife. He should have left when he had the chance.

"Ready to apologize, Ciel?"

"_No_."

"Fine, then." Sebastian giggled, "I could punish you, if you like."

"If you're even beginning to think what I think you are, I want no part of it." Ciel mumbled back quietly.

"_Really? _So many others do it. Don't tell me you've never looked at pornography before."

"Not really, no."

"Ah." Sebastian crossed his legs. "So you're scared, then. I see."

"Oh and you aren't?"

"No. I'm not afraid of _sex _at all. I'm afraid of not having control over the situation. If I, say, force you to take off my stockings with your teeth, that's fine. Even if you miss and bite my thigh. But if you sneak into my bed in the middle of the night and I wake up full of your saliva and three fifths of your hand inside of me, you will meet your end."

Ciel stared at him. Sebastian's entire speech was shocking, to say the least. "Well..." Mind still a blur, Ciel turned away and stared out of the window as the carriage came to a stop in front of the house, "Thank you for clearing that up for me."

"Any time."

**...**

**Note: **_**Okay. ACTs suck. Presentations suck. Lack of sleep sucks. Excuses suck. And believe it or not, there was some pretty wild porn back in the day. I love being a teenager. So that's a long story. I also had trouble with this chapter, trying to make it clearer. And I suppose I should say that this isn't going to turn into some sex-fueled story because of this chapter, nor do I intend for this to involve any real romance between Ciel and Sebastian. While there may be hints every now and again and MAYBE an ... inappropriate chapter if I really can't help it, that's not what this story is for. I'm coming up on the beginning of an arc, too. One word: Charity. Review~**_


	13. Daemones et Sanguineum Wars

**Warnings: **_**Language? Sebastian being weird.**_

**...**

"So what do I have to do to prove it? He obviously doesn't believe me." Sebastian spoke through the attic window to the sunset.

_Show him._

"I don't know how to change yet. And my horns and my tail haven't grown in, so it won't make a difference." He slowly lifted his leg and stuck it outside, following with the other so he could swing his legs out into the cool, evening wind.

_Fuck him, then._

"Why am I even listening to you? I don't want to, he doesn't want to. No sex."

_Too bad._

"Should I jump, then? I bet you want me to." Sebastian smiled to himself. He didn't plan on it. And even if he did jump, his bones would heal in next to no time at all. As everything else, it was pointless.

_It would be pleasant, yes. _

The voice in his mind snickered. Sebastian frowned and scooted further off, not completely, but far enough to make it possible for him to teeter. That how everything was to him. Always teetering between comfort and horrifying excitement.

"What are you doing, Sebastian?" Ciel approached from behind. Sebastian turned to stare at him blankly.

"Do you want me to jump, Ciel?" Ciel shook his head, provoking a giggle from the young boy. "You don't want to see my brains splattered all over the courtyard, get to dress me pretty for my funeral? The thought of playing with my limp, lifeless, _fight-less _body doesn't excite you in the least?"

"No, it does not. That's disgusting."

"If you want to use my body, I'm sure I can give you a chance. But..." Sebastian turned back towards the twilight outside. "I fear that your time may have run out." With that, he slid off of the windowsill and falling, almost floating, towards the earth.

Ciel gaped. When he didn't hear the sickening crack of the child's skull hitting the ground, he cautiously made his way to the window and peered over the edge. Sebastian stood there, on his feet, grinning up at him.

"You believe me yet?" He called out from below. Ciel blinked his shock away and frowned.

"Must you be so careless, you could have killed yourself!"

"Could not. Come down here, I want to go swimming."

**...**

After a brief argument over the time and clothing, Sebastian had helped Ciel pack up something dry to change into, two bath towels, a lantern, a blanket and something for dinner. Sebastian had changed into a loose, white cotton shirt and a pair of trousers before they left.

Ciel couldn't remember whether or not Sebastian had backed anything remotely resembling a bathing suit. He couldn't really make out why Sebastian wanted to go swimming in the middle of the night, either. He followed the boy through the forest bordering the property. They reached a small lake within a few minutes, Sebastian peeling off his trousers and walking in as soon as they arrived.

"Get undressed and come in, I won't have you standing there like an idiot while I relax." Sebastian looked back over his shoulder.

"I don't think so."

"I will drag you in here by the hair on your head if you don't." He turned and plunged beneath the silvery surface of the water. It soon became still, eerily still, the moonlight and starts peaking through dying tree branches to reflect off of the water. Ciel felt uneasy the longer he waited for Sebastian to come up to breathe, especially after he'd jumped out of the attic.

Finally, he gave up. Even if it did seem like an obvious plot to get him into the water, Ciel figured he shouldn't risk having the boy drown on him. He didn't stop to take any piece of clothing off of his body. Just jumped right in.

Which, of course, lead to him being pulled under water. Sebastian smiled at him and pulled him deeper before letting him pop up to breathe. He followed shortly after.

His cotton button up clung to his shoulders and chest, the wet fabric slightly transparent. "So how is it? Warm enough?"

"What the _hell_ are you thinking?" Ciel raised his voice. Sebastian rolled his eyes and pulled him across the entire body of water with ease, pushing him onto the outward-jutting side of a 90 degree cut in a large rock.

"I'm thinking about forcing your duties onto both of us." Sebastian climbed into his lap. "Whether we like it or not." His shirt floated up, revealing layers of gray lace that made up a pair of what would normally be women's underwear. "You want to hurt me sometimes, don't you?"

"Get off of me, Sebastian." Ciel growled.

"No. It wasn't fair of me to take away your ability to have children." He leaned forward and rested his head on Ciel's shoulder. "I'll regret it later. I think a child between us would be beautiful as long as it didn't look like me."

"What in the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Sebastian pushed his shirt down again, "Wishful thinking. I'm too dangerous for children as it is." Ciel nodded in agreement. "At least the water is nice." Sebastian looked up at the man when he didn't reply. "Something wrong?"

"You're so confusing_ all _of the time." Ciel looked out onto the water's surface.

"I'm trying not to listen to the voices in my head, I can see why you'd be confused. You only get to see the outwards result of the battle." Sebastian sighed and pushed off into the water. "I haven't been so swimming in so long. The water isn't the same as it is at home, but it's nice to be back in my element."

Ciel continued to hold himself down on the makeshift stone seat, watching Sebastian glide around, stop to stare at the sky, dive under the surface and float back up several times before turning to stare at him. "I think it's time to go now."

"Alright then-" Sebastian disappeared beneath the water again climbing out on the opposite side of the lake. He unbuttoned his shirt and hesitantly peeled off what little clothing he had on, grabbing a towel and drying himself off. He changed into a second pair of pajamas that Ciel had grabbed for him, short, gray satin bloomers and the black camisole for a few nights before. Yes, it was much too cold to be wearing that outside, but that's what the blanket was for. Sebastian wrapped himself up and waited on the shore for Ciel as he swam back across to where their things were.

After two minutes of waiting, he lit the lantern and looked up to the sky, which was slowly being overtaken by clouds.

"What are you staring at?" Ciel leaned down to lift him up off of the ground.

"Something's happening. Fire." Sebastian squinted his eyes.

**...**

They'd decided against going home. Or Sebastian had, really. He was dragging Ciel through the forrest in the hopes that they'd eventually walk out into the city. Though sceptical, Ciel obeyed and continued across the rotting ground.

There was a very hot, orange light near the end of the path they were walking. Sebastian pushed away from Ciel and ran off towards it. He'd disappeared in an instant.

Ciel cautiously continued forward after him, stopping before he really reached anything. He couldn't... The screaming of burning people echoed out into the night and kept him frozen in place. They faded to gargles, then faint rasping to nothing at all. Trembling, Ciel closed his eyes and moved forward.

Sebastian lept from the charring remains of a town house, carrying what looked like a bundle of fabric a few steps before collapsing.

**...**

Sebastian came to in bed, awoken by a coughing fit, his body trying to clear itself of all of the smoke he'd inhaled. It felt like his lungs were going to invert themselves and explode out of his throat. When it did finally stop, he curled up on his side. Everything that had happened seemed like a dream now, despite his damp hair and the smudges of soot all over his clothes and body.

"Ciel?" He called out weakly. His throat hurt. His captured servant walked in, holding the same bundle Sebastian had escaped the burning house with. Ciel smiled at him.

"What is it?"

"I need water." He blinked and let his gaze wander down to the wriggling blanket in his arms. "What's that?"

"You don't remember?" Sebastian shook his head. Ciel walked towards him and sat on the bed. The very young little girl, no more than a year old, whimpered and looked at the boy. Sebastian screamed and forced himself against the head of the bed. "Hm?"

"Why is that thing here? Why the hell is there a baby in my house?"

"You saved her. I've been taking care of her for the past few hours while you were resting." He pulled Sebastian close. "You don't need to be afraid of her."

"I-I'm not. I don't want a baby. Ciel..." He sniffled and gently pushed her towards his older companion. "I can't have another baby."

"Well, just for now, then." Ciel pulled him into his side. "Okay?"

Sebastian sobbed quietly and turned away. "I don't want that baby."

**...**

**Note: **_**And the arc begins. Panties... review~**_


	14. Torpet in Dolor

**Warnings: **_**Language and demony goodness. Also, mind-voices.**_

**...**

Sebastian stood over the improvised crib, staring at the infant. "Charity..." He sniffled and reached in, mentally battling the urge to smother her. She stared back at him with sleepy, blue eyes, grabbing one of his slender fingers. "You're exhausted, too, aren't you?"

"M-ma." She squeezed his finger. Sebastian froze. "M-mama?"

"No, I'm not your mother. We both know that." He whimpered and tried to pull his finger away. For whatever reason, he couldn't.

"Mama."

"Please stop, it isn't funny." He blinked. He blinked so hard and so fast his eyes barely had the time to continue gathering enough information to let him see, just to keep tears from building up in them. It hurt. "You aren't my baby." She repeated the word. "Stop this, now. There's no need to be insolent or to lie to both of us. You're one of those expendable, meaningless lives. I shouldn't have saved you. You're going to grow up to be a person, which means you'll fall ill, you'll end up shallow and stupid and then you'll die and rot in a hole in the ground just like the rest of them. You and Ciel both. You mean _nothing_ to me."

The infant smiled. "You aren't even the same. I know it."

"Mama..."

"No, _stop it_!" Sebastian dropped down to his knees, severing their connect gazes. He sat there, pressed against the piece of furniture, and cried. "I won't let you replace her, you're not even the same!" His head rested against his knees. "What do you get from this... Huh? What's the point? You're probably related to that bastard, too. I'm not a fucking angel, I can't have another baby, didn't want his, so you're here to torture me. I tell you, Samantha never existed, neither did that bullshit that I made up to kill his wife so you need to leave."

Sebastian continued to endlessly mutter that he didn't need her, without stopping to breathe insisted that her existence was questionable. His mind was so busy. So busy. He didn't hear the knocking on his door or Ciel enter, shutting it behind him.

"Sebastian?" The boy lifted his head, glared, and frantically scrambled underneath the bed that lay near by. Ciel sighed. Within a few steps, he made it to the bed and knelt beside it. "Come out from under there."

"No. Go away, you're giving me a headache. I want to stay here." Sebastian curled into the fetal position. Ciel continued to insist that he come out, the boy refusing to respond, his thumb finding its way past his lips. "Go cook, I'm hungry."

"It isn't time. Why don't you at least come lay down on the bed? It'll be so much more comfortable out here."

"Not safe." His eyes grew heavy. Sebastian lazily pulled his thumb out of his mouth to wipe the drool off of his cheek, replacing it before letting his eyes close.

**...**

He wasn't really asleep, though it seemed like it. He could hear Ciel desperately trying and failing to calm a crying infant. Gaap could sense the distress and took great pleasure in it. The young demon's brow furrowed as the innermost layer of skin on either side of his head split. Soon would follow the other layers, matting his hair with filthy crimson until his decoration occurred. Body desperate to distract from the tearing flesh, his teeth ground down on his thumb. His canines ached, as well, now. What were dull, human-like stubs, chipped and forced out of his gums to create fangs reminiscent of saw teeth.

Fangs that would have made it so much easier to mark Ciel. Gaap frowned and swallowed the blood that pulsed from the appendage in his mouth. Why did the floor have to be so cold? He warmed himself to the point where his body temperature was dangerously high even for him.

Like his father's was, _suffocatingly hot_.

Ciel stopped pacing in front of the bed. Charity stopped crying. Gaap assumed that Ciel put her back into the odd little sculpture compromised of two desk chairs that was her crib, which was correct, as the human crouched again and lifted up the lacy bed skirt to look at him. Gaap lifted his head and stared back at him with viciously glowing eyes, blood dribbling childishly down his chin. Looking shocked, maybe even terrified, Ciel dropped the bed skirt, stood up and left the room in silence.

**...**

Sebastian crawled out from under the furniture and stumbled into the bathroom. He was still so warm. Exhausted, he turned the cold water on in the bath tub and walked over to the mirror. He parted the hair on the left side of his head, above his temple, and pushed the tip of his finger against the sprouting horn that was a clearly visible, black bump there. He hissed and checked the identical sprout.

He pulled away from the mirror and struggled with his clothes until they fell to the tile floor. His bare feet padded across the marble and pulled him into the water and for a moment it sound as if a cigarette were extinguished on the surface. "Mm." It felt good, though. His body heat warmed the water up to around fifty degrees. "I knew it. Never lasts."

The room slowly turned into a low-temperature oven. Sebastian groaned and hid completely beneath the water's surface, trying to cool off, just a little. When that failed, he burst back up, gasping for air. It would probably take an entire lake at this point. "I can't go outside, Ciel will insist on coming along. That, and I really don't feel like swimming."

After staring at the floor for some time, he sighed. "Ciel?" It took an unusually long time for the adult to respond and cautiously appear.

"Yes?" He spoke softly, "...Why is it so warm in here?"

Sebastian shook his head and paused before adding that he didn't feel well.

"Shall I call a doctor, then?"

"No. Will you please carry me to bed?" There were echoes. They matured the headache into a migraine faster than the headache had hit. Sebastian lifted his arms out of the bath, forcing his body heat as low as he could, as far as he could control. Still, Ciel jerked his entire body when he first attempted to lift the boy out of the water. Ciel crouched and pulled a towel over his lap, helping Sebastian climb onto him.

The trip to the bedroom was pure, unpleasant near-torture. As soon as Sebastian had left them, Ciel rolled up his sleeves and looked at his arms. They were bright red and it felt like he had a sunburn. "Will you be needing-" He looked up to find Sebastian tearing, literally, the blankets off of his bed, whipping a sheet in the air to clear it of down feathers before wrapping it around himself. "-clothing?"

"Hm?" Sebastian fell into a lump on the bed, "Yes, I suppose; tell me when you have them, yes?"

"Alright then. I'm calling a doctor."

Sebastian huffed and rolled onto his side, "Whatever helps you sleep tonight."

**...**

Ciel had long forgotten the clothing he was supposed to find. It was probably for the better, Sebastian needed all the sleep he could get. Still, he'd sent for his aunt a little over an hour ago and it would be more decent if he were dressed before she got here. If she had the time, she'd be over as fast as she could be, unfortunately.

He quickly walked back into the bedroom and pulled out the most comfortable thing the boy owned, an over-sized, burgundy wine colored dress shirt and a pair of shorts and knee socks. The woman he'd lived with before obviously intended to invite someone female, or so it seemed by Sebastian's wardrobe. Ciel quickly walked over to the bed and peeled the toasted bed sheet off of Sebastian.

The boy looked like he was starving. His stomach was beginning to collapse and his bones, hips, ribs and collar, all jutted out and looked sharp. Almost painful. He whined as Ciel struggled to dress him. Once the shirt was on, Ciel turned him on his stomach. As he lifted Sebastian's legs, his shirt bunched up a dark, bruise-like mark on his lower back. Ciel made note of it and pulled the boy's shorts up and slipped his socks up his smooth and slender legs.

It was at that very instant that the front door opened on the other side of the house. Ciel could feel the life his aunt, Madame Red as she insisted on being called, brought to the building, even in times of seriousness. He moved out to greet her, quietly leading her back to the sleeping Sebastian. She immediately went to work.

Madame Red continuously spoke aloud as she found different anomalies. An excited heart- and breath-rate, his shaking and fever. She produced a thermometer from her doctors' bag and eased it under his tongue.

"What?" She removed it, "One-hundred-seventy-five? That can't possibly be right. He wouldn't even be alive, he'd be fried through and through..." She huffed and put the thermometer back into its place.

"Well," Ciel turned his forearms to show her the red marks, "This did happen when I carried him in here, and he's pretty much ironed his sheets just by sleeping in them."

She nodded, "Has he been complaining about anything?"

"A headache, and he's got a bruise on his back. That's it, I think."

"Hm. I'll come back tomorrow with a different thermometer if he doesn't improve, alright?" Ciel nodded. She smiled, "Do you have a phone? It seems you can't even call me. It would have been so much easier..."

"Not that I know of," Ciel sat down next to Sebastian. "Though it wouldn't surprise me if he had one he was hiding from me. I feel like a hostage here... I'll ask when he next wakes up."

She laughed and tugged Ciel off of the bed, dragging him outside until she couldn't hold onto him anymore. They said their good-nights and went their separate directions.

**...**

Sebastian shot up. He looked down at himself. Why in the hell was he dressed? He shook his head and looked down at where he'd been sleeping, sighing when he spotted the red stains. No wonder he felt so exhausted, he was loosing blood now. He ran his fingers through his hair to confirm what he'd dreaded. His horns had finally broke the skin. "Fuck. So, Gaap, what do you suppose we do now?"

_You need to reproduce, for one thing._

"Can't. I'm looking for more of an explanation-"

_We need a larger army, you know that. If you agree, we'll let it grow back and undo your stupid mistake._

How odd for the voices in his head to cut him off. "Be that as it may, I will kill any child that implants in it, anyways, so your efforts would be pointless."

_So be it. We'll figure it out for you._

"I told you _no_." It seemed that the more he refused, the more the voices would argue and violently gang up and insist that he did so.

_What about the mate we found for you? He wants it just as bad as we do._

"I don't care, leave me alone!"

_He doesn't have to leave you, though, does he? He dresses and undresses you, sees you nude, has pulled you into his lap. He even kissed you._

"I had no control over myself, _I_ kissed _him_, just-" Sebastian covered his ears, "Just stop it. Leave me alone and stop." He shut his eyes as tight as he could, feeling a familiar dizziness, nausea, and falling sensation all at once.

_You lie. We're sick of your lying. _

**...**

**Note: **_**I'm sorry this took so long. I had a really long week, what with court and all. Interesting things are on the horizon, though, and this week's spring break! Review, it makes me cry pop rocks~**_


	15. Finem Somnium

**Warnings:**_** Episode, language and slight... sexual..things.**_

**...**

Sebastian pinned himself to the headboard of his bed, watching the walls twist in on themselves violently, opening portals to hell that seemed to melt and drip onto the floor around the edges. His door turned to layers upon layers of rusted chains, rattling as monsters tried to break free, all of them screaming. Oh, god, that screaming.

"_Please_, I just want to go back to sleep!"

It only seemed to get worse. Tearfully, he pleaded with them to leave. He begged until his throat hurt, until he began to cough up blood. No matter how loud he got, they got louder.

_Get him in here._ One monster chuckled, chipped claws extending into the room between chains.

_You're doing a great job, sweetheart._ Another yanked on another strand of metal.

_Maybe you aren't so useless after all_. A third voice rose out of the cacophony, helping the previous beast to pull and break one of the chains.

_You just can't hide forever._

_We are what you are._

_You can't run from yourself._

_You are ugly._

_Repulsive. _

_Vicious._

_Promiscuous._

_Filthy._

_Pathetic._

"Liars! You aren't me. I'm different-"

_Prove it!_

"I-I..." Sebastian squirmed and turned his back to them, clinging to the top of the headboard.

_You can't, can you?_

"I'm not listening to you. I won't do it anymore." He sobbed into the dark, heavy wood that often loomed above him. Something pushed his spine into a curve until it was ready to snap, wrapping it's sticky, fleshless arm around his waist.

_Because daddy did all this, you can't do anything on your own. Here we are, looking out for you, making him want to make sure you're okay like a good mate should and you throw away the chance like it's garbage._

"Leave me alone..."

_I don't think so, darling._

"Please!" The arm wrapped even tighter around him. "Give me back my room, stop screaming, stop treating me like trash, just give me some peace for once!" Sebastian swallowed what little blood remained in his mouth.

_No._

"What do I have to-"

_No._

"_Ciel? _Ciel!" Sebastian looked over his shoulder at the grotesque, torn up face behind him. It looked like someone had taken a cheese grater to a rotting corpse, it's jaw loose and swinging down to its chest, one eye missing, the other deflated and loose in its socket, tongue sliced into a fringe, gums cut and bleeding with only a few, sharp teeth remaining. He stared at the thing, its upper lip curling up into a half-formed smile, and started to cry. "Ciel, where are you?"

_Wake up, everything's okay. the thing was talking to him. Listen-_

"No it's not! Ciel, please, I need you! Get this thing off of me! Ciel..."

_What is it?_

"Stop that, it isn't funny!" He tried to pull away sobbing hysterically. His hands were pried off of the head of his bed, the monster's smile falling and it pulled him to it's open chest, smothering him in living-but-rotting organs and blood.

_Sebastian, it's alright. Look at me, I'm here, nothing else._

"_Liar_." He forced out between breathless cries, frantically pushing against this thing, inside of it.

Take a deep breath and look at me, It struggled to talk now. Sebastian continued to push. Finally breaking free, He slipped off the side of the bed and hid underneath it. Breath held, he waited there. It was so loud. The windows were sure to break.

One arm, the arm that had squeezed him, continued to do so, completely separate from what he thought was its owner. Sebastian pried at it, scratched and used what remained of his strength trying to remove it, interrupted by two identical arms swinging below the bed and pulling him back up. He was at the foot of it, facing the chains. They were almost gone now. Seeing what lie behind that barrier...

Sebastian vomited, forcing out cries afterwards as everything that had surrounded him faded away.

"Is everything better now?" Ciel asked from behind him, rubbing his back. Sebastian sobbed and wiped his mouth, falling back.

"Where were you?" He rasped, curling up against Ciel's chest. "I needed you."

"I came in here when you woke the baby up, I've been here for a while." Ciel ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair to push it behind his ear as he calmed down. "Hm?" The boy looked up at him. "Did you hit your head?"

Sebastian shrugged. Ciel sighed and fell back onto the bed. "You really scared me, kid."

"I-I'm sorry." Sebastian turned onto his stomach and grabbed Ciel's hand. "I wish it wouldn't happen. I hate it. Is Charity asleep?"

"Who?"

"The baby." He sighed and looked up at Ciel. "You aren't going to run away, are you?"

Ciel smiled, "I haven't yet, have I?" He leaned forward and kissed Sebastian's forehead. "I'm glad to see you've cooled off a little bit."

Sebastian felt tears roll down his cheeks. "This is a dream, then, isn't it? You shouldn't be here."

"But I am."

"But they want me to do things to you that I shouldn't do." he sniffled and pulled Ciel's arms around me. "I can't get attached to you like that. What if I have to leave you?"

"We'll deal with that when we have to. I'm here to give you what you need." Ciel squeezed him gently, "Though I don't know why, you're a pain, but I couldn't live with myself if I just up and left. How you managed to live alone so long is amazing. You need me."

"God, this is a dream."

"I doubt we're having the exact same dream," Ciel laughed quietly, "Sounds like the baby's asleep."

"...Kiss me, then? That's all I want. I want you to kiss me, Ciel."

"I don't-" Ciel was interrupted by Sebastian's lips, the boys hands pulling him up to force him into kissing back. He gently pulled away. "Are you aware of what you're doing?"

"Yes. Please, just tonight, it'll never happen again."

"Why don't you wait to think it over?"

"But... you said..." Sebastian nearly leaped off of him and stumbled out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He leaned against the door and slid down until his legs lay fully extended on the floor. Something thick and leathery brushed against him. He turned to the side and watched what must have been his tail move like a dying worm in the sunlight. "_Disgusting_." It's arrowhead tip curled towards him and landed on the exposed skin of his thigh. "Not even once, huh? You're mine and you won't even act like it. I can't have anything. I'm all alone here, even when I'm right next to you, touching you, breathing the same air, you're indifferent and I'm abandoned."

**...**

Ciel woke up in Sebastian's bed, the door open on the opposite side of the room. He sat up and slid off the bed. He couldn't move farther than that. "Huh?" He looked down at the chain that bound him to the bedpost. "Sebastian?"

"Back on the bed." Sebastian stepped into the room. "And stay quiet, I just got her back to sleep." He smelled heavily of perfume and it made Ciel dizzy the closer he got to him. Something like sandal wood, cinnamon, rose and vanilla blended together into a bath for the boy to soak himself in.

Ciel complied and sat down on the mattress. "Why am I chained to the bed?"

"Because you fucked up, that's why. You are mine and you have to give me what I want." Sebastian huffed and jumped up next to him pushing him onto the bed and sitting in his lap."And if I can't control you, your life is over."

"You haven't had enough time to think this over." What an interesting change of clothes. Something that looked like a glorified petticoat, burgundy were the top and lower layers, edged with lace the same black as the middle layer and the bows that held pieces of the upper layer up to show more of it. That middle layer had a wine colored ribbon around the edge and all layers were made of something like tulle. The top was a very... different, black corset with chains hanging from the sides. Sebastian's outfit was pulled together by what looked like leather gloves with the hands torn off, stockings, complete with garter belt, with alternating black and translucent vertical stripes and boots that reached mid thigh to hide most of them. _Those boots..._

"Do you like them?" Sebastian must have caught hims staring. Ciel looked at him, confusion visible. "I stole them from my sister a very long time ago. They're my favorite. Very sharp. _Deadly_." The boy giggled mischievously, leaned forward and licked Ciel's neck. "Of course, you can remove them if you want."

"Nn. Don't do that." Ciel tried to pull away. However, the tender flesh of his skin was nipped and he stayed put.

"Go ahead, undo one of the garters, tug on the boots, do something." A polished, leathery_ thing _squeezed Ciel's thigh. "You know, this close, I can honestly say you're the best specimen for the human species. Your hair is so soft and your eyes are stunning. And besides the scar you are so touchy about, your skin is flawless."

"W-what is that?" Ciel looked beneath the boys arched belly to see that the thing constricting his leg connecting both of them. "What the hell is that?"

"Don't think about it."

"Sebastian, stop this." Ciel looked back at him. Sebastian's eyes were glowing. It had been so long since Ciel had felt this terrified by anything. Years, even. Not since he was a child.

"Not a chance." Of course, he'd never felt it exactly like this before. He'd never achieved penetration with a young boy before, he'd pretty much pushed the whole sex thing aside as he grew up, and yet here he was, teetering on the edge of the strangest rape he'd ever hear of.

Swallowing the fear that left a bitter taste in his mouth, Ciel reached up and ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair, stopping him cold. "Are you listening to me?" He asked quietly. Sebastian nodded. "What are you doing?"

"I..."

"Hm?" His finger landed on the small, pointed bump on Sebastian's head.

"Ciel..." Sebastian's eyes cooled to almost brown, fires within them extinguished by tears. "Don't do this to me. It'll happen again if we don't."

"I'll be right here when it does, then."

"B-But I want them to stop. Please, Ciel, you don't know what it's like. I need this," Sebastian whimpered and sat up. "And I can only trust you. I can't just walk up to one of my s-supposed friends and ask them to turn the voices off when you're the one holding the switch. They chose you, they'll know it's not you and it'll get worse."

"Then we will wait and think about it together," Ciel smiled, "But for right now, let's unchain me and think over it together, okay?"

Sebastian's head hung low, shoulders trembling. Slowly, he nodded, tearing the leather collar that aided in the capture of the adult beneath him. Ciel slid upwards and wrapped his arms around him. "See. Much better." Sebastian sobbed and wrapped his arms around Ciel's neck.

"Why can't you just...?"

"Just _what_?"

Sebastian rested his head on Ciel's shoulder, "Why can't you just be ugly and unlovable like everyone else, why do you have to confuse me until I'm ready to break?"

Ciel opened his mouth to answer. A noise came from his own bedroom, loud and unearthly, followed by the wailing of the infant girl who lay in there, previously sleeping. Sebastian shot up and took off at a speed quick enough to liquefy his own organs.

**...**

**Note: **_**I never expected to get this done today, I'm serious. I've got to get my house clean by 5:00 Monday to avoid foster care, too. Sebastian, please suddenly become real and help me out. I'd enjoy living with my mom and having the chance to play with your hair. (Yep, I have a hair fetish. And a thing for tall, pale dudes with dark hair. So... Sebastian and L and Beyond Birthday from Death Note. My "anime hotties" list is not a conventional one. Derp.) I'm really hoping that a certain... thing I'll be describing in the next chapter or so turns out okay, being as he was so damn difficult to create in the first place. Why, Molly, why? Review, maybe I'll finish the house in time to write you something pretty if I've got the motivation~**_


	16. Tenebris Sanctuarii

**Warnings: **_**Language, oddly cute sex failure (you'll see what I mean by failure, there is no actual sex) and Sebastian/Gaap's father being a bit of a prick. I do believe that's it. The next chapter will be much better. Please think of this as another lull. **_

**...**

Ciel continued to tiptoe the path Sebastian had nearly singed into the carpet. He could hear the boy and a very faintly familiar voice arguing, Sebastian growing tearful and passionate, angry spitting slowly transitioning into pathetic begging. Begging for it to 'not happen again'. He peeked into the door that held the two children and the third party.

"Please give her back... I-I'll do anything."

The guest, an older man, chuckled. "How about no?"

"What did she do?" Sebastian tumbled over himself and sat on the floor with his legs sprawled out before him. Ciel made it to the door and was able to see more than that, the man with fading blonde and black hair, silver eyes and abnormally tall stature holding the infant girl over Sebastian's head like a toy, Sebastian clinging to his lower abdomen. He was shaking.

"You really want to replace our baby?"

"Fuck you, she wasn't yours!" Sebastian kicked his legs, pushing him inches away, but no further than that.

"I'm the one who filled you up, yeah? I'm the one who gave you the other half of that sweet elixir that made that fucking baby." The older man frowned, showcasing the fine wrinkles in his face. "He can see you, you know. You should tell him how much of a failure you are."

Sebastian jerked his head to the left, making eye contact with Ciel. There was a long silence. The soft whimpering of the baby, Charity, was the only thing that managed to find its way through the oppressive quiet. "So, what do you say?" The older voice chuckled. "You gonna console him when this is done, or do I have to wait before I can fix him for you?" He walked over and offered his hand to Ciel for a shake. "I'm Moloch, you may call me..." He stared into Ciel's eyes for a split second and grinned, "_You may call me Vincent_."

**...**

Ciel woke up on the floor to the sun setting outside, Sebastian curled up with his head on his chest. Charity rested between them. Sebastian's breathing was dangerously shallow and quivered in his chest. Ciel could feel the small body pressed his side and felt every rib, every heartbeat and breath through his own clothing.

"I'm sorry he did that." Sebastian spoke quietly and kissed Ciel's neck. "But you're okay now."

"Wha..." He turned and looked at Sebastian. He... his clothes... his clothes were torn away from his body and were a crumpled mess just a few feet away from them. His body itself was covered in dark bruises and scattered with welts, scratches and bitemarks. Sebastian's face was virtually unharmed, a gash on his cheek the only exception. "What happened to you?" Sebastian put his finger over Ciel's lips and shook his head.

"It was either you or me, and even if you don't want to be with me, I need you and I have to protect you from things you have no chance of fighting." Sebastian pushed his face into the crook of Ciel's neck. "If there's one thing I know how to fight, it's my father. And Ciel?"

"Hm?" Ciel rested his hand on the cool skin of the small of Sebastian's back.

"I-I ...thought about it. I don't think we should." He sniffled. "I really need a bath. I'm sorry I'm not as presentable as I should be, I just couldn't move any further."

"You look beautiful." Ciel whispered comfortingly. Sebastian looked at him and smiled sadly.

"I _really_ don't like it when people lie to me, Ciel." His smile fell. "You don't really think that. You don't have to try and make me happy and you know it, so let's not lie."

Sebastian stared at him, into his eyes, much like 'Vincent' had. His eyes twitched back and forth. Was he reading him? The more the boy continued, the more naked and open Ciel felt and grew more certain that that was what was going too long, Sebastian rose up from the floor and wrapped himself in Ciel's blanket.

"I'll be in the bath." He whispered, leaving the room.

**...**

_If I could just grab onto that one tiny speck of affection you hold for me. If I could just convince you to think you loved me long enough to pull the switch, most of this would stop. For a little while, there would be no hallucinations, no sickness, no voices. Daddy would leave me alone if you'd place some mark upon me saying that I'm yours. This bond is so ribbon is only half-laced. If only I could infect you like a disease. _

**...**

Sebastian stared down at the little puddles of drying blood and semen on the bathroom floor, waiting in the water for his body to heal. "This is ridiculous. This is disgusting." The boy weakly closed his eyes and let out a shuddered sigh. His body was cooling drastically. Sebastian entertained the thought of his changes reversing, horns flattening out against his skull, tail receding into his body where it had been before.

It would be pleasant. He had no control whatsoever over his tail, not yet. It listened to his primal instincts, annoyingly confused instincts, and that was all. His horns and fangs just plain hurt.

_Maybe if he could bite down on something as hard as he could..._

Torturing Ciel was out of the question, though. They were caring for a baby together now, at least a little bit. Hell, didn't that pretty much mean they'd have to get married if they were found out? Bound to a human because of human relationship standards. You couldn't possibly be a couple without amazing, mind blowing sex.

Gentle yet passionate love making. Sebastian groaned in annoyance. There was definitely something wrong with his mind. The thought of being underneath that man disgusted him and aroused him all at once. Too good, not good enough, Sebastian was too confused to decide what Ciel really meant.

Then again, that could be what he meant. Perhaps Ciel was an angel who'd been corrupted and wanted to ruin the little demon before he really had the chance to become the king as he was supposed to be. It would make sense, those gorgeous blue eyes were constantly clouded over with the past. A past he could knowingly be projecting into Sebastian's mind to win his sympathy and heart before breaking him like brittle glass.

"Ciel!" Sebastian snapped at the open door. Maybe he'd ask for help to clean himself out-

No. He couldn't force him to invade his body like that. "_Ciel_?" He tried again, sweetening his voice up.

Ciel stumbled into the bathroom, looking extremely exhausted. "What is it?"

Sebastian batted his eyelashes and smiled. "Come, let me wash your hair. I won't watch you undress, I'll keep my eyes closed until you're in here." He pulled his legs up to his damaged body, making more than half of the bathtub available.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Sebastian." Ciel shut the bathroom door and locked it.

"Please? I just want to wash your hair." The continued to argue quietly, Sebastian presenting more and more of his feminine side. "It won't be that bad, the water is perfect and I'm really good at washing hair." The adult gave in.

"Cover your eyes, then." Ciel mumbled. Sebastian rested his forehead on his knees and sighed. He wanted to look, just one little peek. Ciel was probably very graceful when he stripped, something Sebastian had every right to be jealous of. He usually just tore his clothes off while laying down to make sure he didn't fall.

He felt the older male's warm, soft skin brush against his legs and lifted his head. Ciel was facing away and sitting awkwardly. "Are you comfortable?" Ciel responded with a kind of and shifted. Sebastian sighed and spread his legs, pulling Ciel back by the waist. "Lean back so I can reach the top."

Tealish locks fell off of Ciel's shoulders and spread out on Sebastian's chest. Ciel folded his arms over his chest. The water was indeed perfect, easy to fall asleep in. Sebastian pulled Ciel's bangs back and played with the water around his hair for a moment, getting it nice and wet before adding the soap and gently massaging Ciel's scalp. The man's muscles relaxed significantly.

"How does it feel?"

"Feels good." Other than the skin of the boy's inner thighs grazing his shoulders. However, that was just a twinge of discomfort in an otherwise perfect liquid heaven.

Sebastian's tail slithered just beneath the cloudy surface of the water and caressed Ciel's lower abdomen. "Good, I'm glad. Does it make you happy?"

"I guess, a little." Ciel opened one eye, looking down with the intense blue at the black, snake-like protrusion that hovered above his navel when he couldn't roll it up far enough to see Sebastian's facial expression. He could sense an odd tightness building up in the boy behind him. Then came the gentle lapping of water at the back of his neck as his hair was rinsed out.

"Good." Sebastian whispered. His pale, slender arms rested around Ciels neck once he was finished, head hanging so wet strings of black hair tickled Ciel's chest. "Good... Ciel, could you get on your knees and let me look and see if I got all of the front? There should be enough water to shield you from my eyes."

Ciel nodded and sat up, turning. He had to hold himself up with the edge of the tub, which trapped Sebastian in one place. The boy's hand reached up and combed Ciel's bangs down, back into his face. "Did you get it all?"

Sebastian stared at him for a moment. "I don't know, come a little closer." A little closer basically pinned them together at the upper torso. Ciel cautiously inched forward and let Sebastian continue to skillfully comb through his hair. "Ciel..." The skin clinging to his ribs throbbed softly with the beat of his heart. Sebastian frowned and pulled Ciel down by his hair, kissing him roughly.

"Mh!" Ciel struggled to pull away, Sebastian's body weighing him down like he was tied to bricks. After the severe desperation melted away, Sebastian's grip weakened, though he continued sloppily kiss around Ciel's mouth and jawline. Just like a kid. How charming.

Sebastian whined and rolled their bodies over in the water. "What - are - you - doing, - Sebastian?" Ciel gasped between kisses.

"Changed my mind," Sebastian's mouth pulled away from Ciel's face for a moment, hovering just high enough above for his lips to brush against Ciel's ear. "Just once. I need you more than anything. It's the only way."

"The only way for what?" The boy continued his course and pressed his fangs lightly into the shell of Ciel's ear. "Ghk."

"I know they're sharp, just hold still, I won't hurt you. I may be bad, but I don't want to hurt you. You might have to hurt me, but..." Sebastian licked over a bit of broken skin. His body quivered slightly.

Suddenly, the air grew very thick. It was nearly unbreathable. Ciel inhaled deeply, feeling lightheaded, only to find that deep breathing made the feeling worse. Sebastian seemed to get warmer the more he awkwardly tried to commence foreplay. "Really, Sebastian," Ciel strained to talk, "What on earth are you doing?"

"What am I..?" Sebastian sat up, straddling Ciel's stomach. He looked at the adult tearfully. "You don't like it? Is that it?"

"Well-"

"I knew it."

"Sebastian, would you just listen to me?" Sebastian rubbed at his eyes and nodded. "I guess, just this once, we can, but you need to pay more attention to what you're doing."

A slick curtain of hair fell in front of Sebastian's eyes. "Just forget it." He sniffled quietly and turned his head away. "I'm never going to be repaired at this rate, I should just learn to live with it. This is so _desperate_ and _stupid_, I'm sorry." He spouted, words becoming liquid, running together.

Ciel sat up and pushed the hair out of the boy's face. His cheeks were tinged pink, tears not venturing past his eyelashes, bottom lip pinched between his teeth. He chuckled, "There's no need to pout. You need more time to think about it, so do I. We've discussed this, Sebastian. And why would you want to dirty the water?"

"It doesn't matter to me." Sebastian released his now reddened lip. "I _told_ you to forget about it."

"I'm not going to if you keep acting so distressed."

"I'm not going to throw a fit over it, just forget about it. You need to go check on the baby." Sebastian climbed out of the bath and looked at the puddles of bodily fluids beneath him as water trickled off of his body and brought them back to life. Disgusting. "And clean up this fucking floor, then go make me dinner. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, just do what you're told and forget about what just happened between us. I assure you, it will _not_ happen again."

**...**

Sebastian prepared to spend his evening in his room. Wearing nothing but a shirt he'd stolen from Ciel's room and a pair of the stockings he so adored. He sat against the headboard surrounded by kitchen knives a pistol and a journal and pen, staring, glaring viciously, at the locked wooden door. If Ciel wasn't going to turn the nightmares off, he was going to be guilted into insanity.

Sebastian's tail curled up loosely around his ankles. He had to be as small as he could. Real or not, those things that came in the night could hurt him.

**...**

**Note: **_**Okay, so I didn't get as far as I wanted to in this chapter, and I had to make a lot of decisions. I should be able to get the next chapter up shortly. Ah, teenage drama... Anyways, not that I've gotten out of my suicidal-ness, I think I'm mentally ready to write what happens next in this little arc thing. I will go ahead and say it's going to be very graphic and kind of... gross. If anyone's read my "Quoth the Raven" fiction, it could possibly resemble what happened to Sebastian's pregnant cat. By the way, my awesome cat says hello. Review and he'll give you a thumbs-up, because he can do that. Like a sir~**_


	17. Sopio Vale Vale

**Warnings: **_**Language, murder, gore, ect., ect...**_

**...**

Moloch, now going by Vincent, wandered the forest behind the building his son resided in. Gaap's bedroom was still lit up. _Oh, Sebby, dearest. A demon afraid of the dark?_

As soon as the words crossed his mind, the light in the distant window went out. Invitation. Vincent moved as quiet as a cat towards the back entrance of the house.

The closer he got, the more of his child he could smell. There was sweat, but nothing else. What had he been thinking when he chose a human for a mate? All it did was make him a parasite, nothing he wasn't new to, surely, but quite the annoyance. The door would be unlocked for him, or rather, for the human, when he got there. Sebastian would be under the blankets, on his stomach with his legs spread, knives surrounding him, pointed out to the world. In his mind would be racing thoughts of his mate changing his mind and performing as he should and living together with him and the baby he would deny being attached to.

Then again, Sebastian was easy to read if you could do it right. He loved the infant almost as much as he'd loved the last, as if she'd come from the same organ that he surely hadn't allowed to grow back. As soon as Vincent made it into his room with Ciel and the baby, he'd admit everything. Then, the older demon's plans could take place. After all, he was helping bring them close together, he was doing the right thing. Once the initial shock wore of, his son would thank him.

Vincent opened the door.

**...**

"What was that?" Ciel mumbled and sat up. He turned his head and looked into the makeshift cradle to find Charity with her eyes wide open. She looked to be on the edge of tears, tugging violently on her blanket and whining. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" His parent voice needed work. It sounded nothing like his own parents, but absolutely terrified.

"Da..." She whispered and rolled onto her stomach. Ciel got out of bed to hold her.

And he heard it. Someone behind him was humming softly. Charity turned her head in the crook of Ciel's arm and looked behind him. She began to squirm, whine frantically. Ciel was afraid to look back. "How sweet, a princess and her father up late at night so mommy doesn't have to do all of the work."

Vincent, as Ciel faintly remembered the man calling himself, walked around to stand before him. "Don't make a sound. Sebastian's door is unlocked. Go get into bed with him. You will not say a thing about me being here or I will end you."

Ciel stared at him, pulling the baby to his chest. "Do you understand?" He nodded in response. Vincent shoved him towards the second bedroom and disappeared. Looking to both sides, Ciel entered.

Sebastian was on his stomach, crying, spread out into a star shape on his mattress. Ciel walked quietly forward and removed the knives from the bed. Sebastian curled up and he laid down. "Why are you in here?" Ciel didn't reply. "Ciel, don't fuck with me."

"Be quiet, he'll hear you." Ciel whispered. His free arm pulled Sebastian into his chest next to the baby, muffling his protests.

The bedroom shut and locked after a few minutes and caused him to fall instantly silent. Vincent chuckled and told Ciel to release both of the children he held to his body, pried his arms away when he didn't. Sebastian's eyes were clamped shut. Charity began to bawl.

"Keep your back to the wall and nothing happens to you. Okay?" His pewter colored eyes took on a glow like tainted moonlight, pupils slitted like a feline's. Ciel sat up and obeyed. "Gaap, get the fuck up."

"I don't want to." Sebastian sobbed and rolled onto his side.

"Do you want to repeat our little adventure from this morning? Ciel will be watching this time. Or would you like that, your wreched little hellslut?" Vincent chuckled.

"N-no... Daddy, please."

"Aw, you don't like the truth? Honestly, you're no better than a failed succubus. Ask him. He wouldn't fuck you if his life depended on it." His father sat on the end of the bed. "Come. Open your eyes and face me like the devil you should be." When he didn't, Vincent pulled Charity over to him by her arm.

"Just go away, I'm not in the mood." One eye of darkening crimson fluttered open, lashes wet and glued together. "Leave her here, just go away. Just go away."

"Pitiful." Vincent pulled a pair of sewing scissors out of his coat pocket, placing one of the baby's little fingers between the sharpened blades. "What about now."

"You w-wouldn't." Sebastian shot up, toppling forward onto his hands and knees. He reached one hand out in front of him. "_Gimme my baby_."

The blades grew nearer to the young flesh. "I would." Vincent grinned at him.

"Daddy, I want my baby. Gimme my baby." Sebastian's eyes grew wide and empty. He crawled forward, his right stocking wrinkling up and sliding down past his knee. Ciel grabbed his ankle.

"Don't interfere, human!" Vincent snarled, eyes lighting up in a violent rage. The blade of the scissors came together and severed Charity's finger. His hand came down on the little girl's mouth and he moved onto the next. The fine spray of blood coming from her hand hit Sebastian's face. He just stood there, frozen with shock.

"M-_my_..."

"She's not yours."

"My baby..." He shook. "_God damn it_, Moloch, put the scissors down and give me my baby!"

"Oh?" Hearing his true name, Moloch raised an eyebrow. He closed the blades on yet another tiny finger. "Change for me, sweetheart. Let me see you at your worst, or I'll be finishing off this hand."

Sebastian's eyes exploded with a reddish glow that overtook the faintly off-white of his father's. In one swift, smooth motion, he removed the screaming girl from Moloch's arms and slid her across the blanket to Ciel. Surprised, his father laughed. He was immediately tackled to the floor.

"You don't _do that _to a baby, she can't even fight! You fucking coward, fight me like a man and leave the child alone!" The young demon's voice tore out of his throat. He straddled his father and grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him up. "You're a fucking disgrace. Don't attack the little ones."

"But they taste so_ good_." Moloch pouted jokingly. "Now," He lifted the edge of the shirt Sebastian was wearing. "Where have we seen this before. Where are your panties?"

"Where is your _shame_?"

"Sadly, I was born without it. If you will excuse me, Gaap." He tossed his son aside and stood. "I do believe it's time for at least one of us to change."

A mist, thick and ugly green mist, settled down on everything in the room for no longer than a split second. Standing there in the incredibly tall, aging male's place stood a monster.

A _monster_.

Standing at nine feet, hunched down to seven, sixteen spider leg-like spines protruding from torn and flaking skin, jaw hanging out of place, occupied by long, enormous fangs and a tongue at least two feet long and black that hung out between its two lowest fangs, weighing the bottom half of its jaw down so its mouth would not close. Two long, blackened and ridged horns protruded from its skull and curled under themselves, talons dangling from his twenty or so fingertips. Hanging off of the lowest part of his spine were four smooth, black tails with blade-like tips.

This concentration of evil, the demon Moloch, looked just as emaciated as his still human-like son. His ribs and hips defined his hunched shape, all of his joints looked broken and twisted. His lower half was plastered over with patches of leather where his skin had begun to fall off. "Well?" Just that one little word... he didn't have to move his jaw to release the horrifying sound of his voice.

Something like a combination of long talons on slate, the rumbling of an earthquake and the groaning of rusted steel layering over his human voice.

Sebastian sprung up off of the floor. In a flash of twisting smoke, purple-tinted, silver spark-flecked black, he appeared about six feet tall. Gaap screeched and sobbed as his horns, smooth, black and curving slightly upwards, erupted from his skull. His tail curled in front of him defensively. If anything, he looked only as if he'd aged five or so years, hair growing back straight and longer in the front.

Ciel fought back the urge to vomit, cradling the suffering infant as he watched a battle commence. The mouth-breathing, struggling thing flung the scissors into Gaap's left shoulder. It did nothing but knock him back, but even that would distract him enough to deprive him time to think of a good defence. Blood pouring from the torn skin on his head down his cheeks , he was already weakened.

Gaap jerked the scissors out of the puncture would they'd created. He blindly tossed them. The scissors landed in the far wall with a metallic thud. Now that Moloch was laughing at his poor aim, Gaap charged forward. His raven-colored hair flew away from his face as he tackled his father to the ground.

This dominance wouldn't last long. Within mere seconds, Moloch had him pinned to the floor. "Give me the baby, Ciel Phantomhive." His head jerked to the side, silvery eyes piercing the cowering man's innermost soul. He didn't even think about what he was doing, Ciel just did it. "Good little human. I like you."

Charity screamed. Gaap joined in with her, shouting in some distorted, outdated language, far more ancient than Latin. His long, pointed fingernails scratched at the edges of a patch of peeling or torn skin. Moloch prodded Charity's round tummy with one of his tallon,circling around her navel. Gaap wailed and kicked at his father's bony legs, nails and fingers plunging beneath the mat of flesh he'd grabbed on to. As one long, cracked, ivory-colored claw punctured her stomach, the younger demon tugged. A large piece of his father's skin came off. Moloch roared. Black sludge oozed out of the newly opened wound.

Ciel convulsed. No matter how much he wanted to he could not, absolutely could not look away. Not as that claw cut across the infant's belly, as she wailed, as the younger demon wailed along with her, her entrails sliding out of the jagged cut, he gagging sounds she made as life escaped her tiny body.

Gaap fell silent once more. His face and chest were covered in blood and the dark slime coming off of his father's body. Moloch's tallon pushed further into Charity's now lifeless body and severed her spine. Her skin stretched taut as the weight of her lower half stretched her. Almost in unison, Ciel's and the younger demon's eyes rolled back into their skulled and they lost consciousness.

**...**

Sebastian woke up to a clean room, Ciel's arms wrapped tightly around him. His insides hurt. "You did it..." He smiled weakly and snuggled into the elder's chest. He felt so weak and exhausted. Considering all of the little details he picked up on, the only thing he regretted was not being able to remember it.

It must have been wonderful. Other than the gently throbbing pain of his innards, nothing else hurt. "Ciel?" He whispered.

The man woke up slowly, the night previous a nausea-inducing blur. Before his very eyes lay a utopia, free of blood, full of sunshine and a smiling, normal Sebastian. "What is it? Is it over?" The boy giggled. Oh god, he didn't remember.

"We went for that long?" Sebastian kissed Ciel's jawline. "Was I to your liking? I feel like I must have been doing something you liked, very... used."

"Y-yeah..." Ciel tried so hard to smile convincingly. Another giggle confirmed that it had worked.

"Good. Maybe I'll convince you to do it again sometime. Let's go check on Charity and-"

"Let's just go eat breakfast and let her sleep." Ciel interrupted. Sebastian blinked, laughed quietly and gave a small nod, letting himself be carried into the kitchen.

In the middle of their little breakfast lesson, there came a knock on the door. "I'll get it. Don't leave your spot." Ciel left.

Sebastian smiled and pulled his legs up onto the counter. It seemed like an eternity since Ciel had left already. Hm.

The front door shut in the distance. "_Sebastian, package_!"

**...**

**Note: **_**Would be longer, more graphic, but I just couldn't take it. I had to take a ten minute break to cry and dry heave. So... what's in the package? Review~**_


	18. Tua Stella

**Warnings: **_**brief mention of gore and drunk sex (more than likely the last time it'll happen). That about does it for this one.**_

**...**

How in the hell was Ciel going to go about this? Sebastian didn't remember a thing about last night and everything seemed to be clean. But Charity was gone. How could he possibly explain that?

Sebastian walked, slightly limping, into the main room. The package, a small box, sat on the carpet in front of Ciel's feet. "Who is it from?" Sebastian's smile was undeniably cute. Ciel didn't know what it was that had possessed him to think that. Maybe he was just jealous of the innocence the boy had mysteriously obtained.

"It doesn't say." _How worrisome_. "We should wait to open it, it doesn't look that important. Would you like to get out of the house for today?" Sebastian's eyes lit up. He nodded enthusiastically and ran back to his room.

"I'll be dressed in just a minute, you can decide what you want to do."

Ciel let the oncoming breath of relief explode out of him, his body falling against the door. He just had such a bad feeling about that box. At least the boy was open to whatever he had to do to play along with him until he simply could not put it off any longer. He could think of an explanation later.

**...**

The carriage was so cramped full of silence that the atmosphere felt as if it could nearly break the hinges off of the door. Still, if it weren't for that suffocating quiet, Ciel was at risk of bringing up something he wasn't prepared to explain. Sebastian had insisted on dressing up in his own unusual way. A blouse, black with silver pinstripes, sleeves slightly flared and trimmed with perhaps a centimetre of lace and rows of fabric sewn onto the back into a trailing bustle that reached just past his knees, trimmed the same way, finished off with false corset lacing with a thick, gray ribbon. The rest of his outfit was somewhat moderate, just a pair of black slacks and a painted cameo, one of a red rose on black shell set in silver and on a black ribbon, though his hardly-visible-yet-still-inappropriately-high heeled shoes were a shameless distraction from that.

Still, he looked nice and he was happy. Ciel couldn't bear to take that away from him. This little game that he'd set up was to make him happy enough to keep him from falling too hard once he knew how to tell the boy what had happened. Still, Ciel had to wonder... Sebastian had said nothing about leaving the house without her.

"Sebastian?" Ciel mumbled into the stale air. Sebastian jumped and smiled.

"Yes, Ciel?" His voice was clear and slightly musical.

"How... how are you feeling?"

"I feel wonderful." Sebastian leaned against Ciel, pulling his arm around his shoulder. After a long pause, his smile fell and he added, "I feel normal. Where are we going?"

"I figured we'd go to a park or something."

Sebastian laughed quietly, "You don't have to try and win my heart by being romantic. It sounds wonderful, though, thank you."

"What do you mean romantic?" Ciel looked down at him, hands gripping fistfulls of his trousers.

"Just being together." Sebastian shrugged. "You're not worried about anyone seeing us together?" Ciel blinked and didn't respond. Sebastian sighed softly and crawled into Ciel's lap. His arms came up around the back of Ciel's neck, fingers interlocking. "If anyone were to see you outwardly courting me, we'd surely be shunned. This isn't publicly appropriate."

"We can think of an excuse. I'm fine with the one you used on my aunt."

"Ah."

**...**

"My feet hurt." Sebastian had been whining for several minutes, tugging childishly at Ciel's coat sleeve. They'd been walking through the thin patch of manicured trees, exploring the slow color changes, for a good three hours.

"You want to go home?" Ciel turned back to look at him. Sebastian shook his head. "What then?"

"I don't know."

"Hm. I suppose we can go out for dinner," Ciel sighed and swept the boy off of his feet and began carrying him bridal-style to their carriage. Sebastian nodded and rested his head on Ciel's shoulder.

His eyes wandered upwards to the songbirds that twittered in the trees. "There are so many of them..." He whispered.

"Yes. They're nice, aren't they?" Ciel responded, glancing up in the same direction.

"Not really. I hate songbirds. It's the other birds... you know, magpies, crows, ravens, the ones who eat death, triumph over it. I think they're beautiful." Sebastian smiled, "But that's just how I am. I don't see why people hate them. Then again, I don't see how people hate me, either."

"_I _don't hate you." Ciel smiled down at him.

"Don't be so quick to say things. We haven't been around each other long enough to know."

Ciel struggled to get into the carriage without putting the boy down. "But you can like me?"

"I can't control what I'm doing." Sebastian giggled and pushed away, getting in on his own. "Sneak me some wine when we get there?" Ciel followed in and sat across from him.

"Of course."

**...**

The restaurant was nearly empty. Sebastian mumbled something and took his own seat, earning the glares of the few couples that occupied the room.

Despite its vast emptiness, the room was beautiful. A vaulted ceiling, gloriously overdone crystal chandeliers, room length windows that let in the first light of sunset. The tables were nice as well, heavy, royal blue tablecloths with golden tassels, high-backed chairs, silver candelabras and vases with the last roses of the season, all in beautiful peachy, creamy, blush colored. Sebastian pulled one of the petals off and rubbed it between his fingers impatiently.

Ciel walked over to him, in awe of the scene before him. He took the seat across from his young companion and waited for someone to serve them.

It didn't take Sebastian long to get a bit tipsy. He openly went through an entire bottle and a half of claret once everyone else had left. So... maybe tipsy was an understatement. Ciel was probably more on the tipsy side, Sebastian was utterly drunk, laughing a little too hard at the slightest joke, leaning over the table to get closer to the adult.

They left shortly after their otherwise small dinner.

"So..." Sebastian slid close to Ciel once they were sitting in the carriage.

"So?" Ciel hiccoughed and turned back to him.

"So." Sebastian repeated and giggled. "Can we do it again tonight?"

"What, that?"

"Mm, how very like a human. So adorably lost." He smirked and looked up at him under half-closed eyelids. Ciel stared at him. Sebastian giggled and continued. "I know it's weird, but I want you while you're imperfect, ya know? I want you to touch me and be clumsy about it." He pulled Ciel's hands to his thighs. "I hate it when people are so precise about it."

"So I am _precise_..." Ciel's voice carried a slight slur with it.

"I can't remember." Sebastian smiled. "Can we?" The adult's eyes cast downwards, hand sliding back and forth over the fabric of Sebastian's trousers. Slowly, he nodded and pushed Sebastian against the wall. Sebastian smiled and pulled him close, kissing him passionately.

He'd improved drastically since Ciel had last been pulled in.

Ciel groaned quietly. The back of his mind buzzed with the faint warning of '_you have no idea what you're getting into_', body reacting as the alcohol directed, hand finding its way between Sebastian's legs and rubbing him through his pants.

"Mn." Sebastian jolted. His hands tightened into fists and made Ciel's collar tighter. The boy's hips began to grind against his hand, moan growing constantly louder. His trousers were undone. "_W-wait_..."

"What is it?" Ciel growled. There was no going back. They hadn't gone far, but this was going to stick with him, he might as well finish.

"I-I don't want to take you in here. I want to do it on the bed. It's easier that way."

"Hm." His hand continued under the fabric. Sebastian squealed and bit down on his lip.

**...**

"Are you ready?" Ciel whispered to him. His hands slid down the back of Sebastian's thighs, fingers spreading his entrance open. "I'm willing to help you here, if you like."

Sebastian frantically shook his head. "Just do it. I can take it." His voice had completely lost what tone it had left, becoming a harsh whisper made purely of little gasps.

His body trembled beneath Ciel's, excited, anxious, waiting. Without much force at all, he entered Sebastian, who in turn tossed his head back an relinquished a moan that echoed around the bedroom. "_Ahn_!" His chest rose and fell rapidly, body wrapped instantly around the older man's, pulling him in completely, fingernails digging into Ciel's back. "Gh."

Sebastian fell nearly limp, body seemingly more relaxed than his mind. He hardly exhaled, breath only escaping with tiny whimpers that managed to make their way past his lips. "Do you feel okay?" Ciel mumbled into his neck.

"N-nnh?" Sebastian's head tilted towards him. "Hha... You not doing either of us any good if you're not moving."

"Trying not to hurt you." Sebastian sighed, whining quietly as he felt the blood slowly start to dribble down onto the bed. He lifted his hips and slowly began to rock them against Ciel's.

"Nh- What makes you t-think- Ah!- I can't handle this? Hn?" His claws pulled out of Ciel's skin, one pale, slender arm reaching up to lace its fingers through Ciel's hair. Sebastian's body was forced to stop moving, knees being pushed towards the chest that contained his unstable breath. Ciel's tongue pressed against the dark mark on his neck that he'd received before they had returned home and slid lower, back arching as he took control.

Ciel's hips collided with Sebastian's roughly. His hair was tugged, pulling him back to the other's chest as he howled into his shoulder. He chuckled and bit down on Sebastian's collar bone.

"Hhna...gh. H-harder." He complied. "Ah!" Sebastian mewled breathlessly. "More."

"What do you mean more?" Ciel grunted, trying to get himself situated in a better angle.

"You aren't in all the way. I can take it." The warm, wet feeling between his legs spread the further Ciel pushed, his ears picking up on the wet-leather sound of his flesh tearing. Ciel must have felt it, he stopped moving.

"Are you-" Sebastian nodded before he could finish. Ciel slowly and carefully continued, working through the quiet, whimpering sobs as the alcohol wore off. He stopped again as rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Sebastian. "Are you_ sure _you're okay?"

Sebastian's temperature rose, eyes fluttering shut. He nodded and pulled himself closer. The noise grew pleasant as Ciel moved more, slower and far more gentle than how he'd started. "Nnh..a-ah. Ciel."

**...**

Why did the day have to go by so fast? Sebastian sighed and opened his eyes for the third time after their little misadventure. His hand trailed down Ciel's chest, pulling away when his fingers hit the drying stickiness on his stomach. The poor guy had passed out almost immediately.

"It'll be better next time, I promise. I just have to adjust to you." Ciel's brow furrowed in his sleep. Sebastian leaned up and kissed his cheek before climbing out of bed.

He planned on going to open the package they'd forgotten about and then take a quick bath before getting back into bed. Sebastian sluggishly moved to his dresser and grabbed a cashmere sweater to cover himself with. Yes, the stains that could result would be tricky, but not impossible to remove. He quickly shuffled into the next room.

The box hadn't moved but appeared a bit darker near the bottom, as if it'd been dropped into a puddle. Confused, he moved towards it cautiously. When nothing else seemed to be out of place, Sebastian tore the brown paper away from the package and took the lid off of the top.

_No._

Sebastian shrieked in horror and collapsed, a sobbing mess on the floor. _This wasn't happening, not again. _He rocked himself and hid his face, trying to block out the sight and the smell coming out of that wretched box.

Ciel woke up as soon as he'd heard the noise. He quickly pulled on his trousers and ran out into the sitting room to find a very confusing scene. A few advancing steps confirmed what he'd been fearing since that morning.

Charity, what remained of her, rested in their post. Swallowing the great lump of vomit rising in his throat, Ciel stepped even closer. There was a letter taped to the inside. It would have to wait, however. He hurriedly lifted Sebastian up off of the floor and carried him back into another part of the house.

"Can you sleep?"

"I-I... _s-s-she_..."

"Can you sleep, Sebastian?" Ciel spoke roughly. Not a wise choice. Sebastian looked at him, terrified. The boy shook his head and backed away. "I need to go take care of this, but I need you to sleep, okay?"

"You don't even care..." Sebastian sobbed.

"I- Sebastian, we'll talk about this later, I just have to know you won't leave the room or do anything remotely stupid."

"She was _ours_, you don't even care. Something's wrong with you, Ciel. You're not handling this right. Why can't you just stay with me? Why do you want to see it again?" Sebastian slowly climbed under the blankets. Within minutes, he'd fallen silent and more than likely asleep. Ciel stood.

Vincent, Moloch, whatever that _thing_ was called, had caused far too much trouble to just end it like this. Something was up.

**...**

**Note: **_**Okay, so I passed out at my computer in the middle of writing this and then my best friend told me she doesn't care about me anymore. There's my excuse for why this is late. That, and I'm not so good with sex. Sorta... meh. Whatever. Review because I've lost my mind. Or just because you want to, that works, too.**_


	19. Mutationem

**Warnings: **_**Language and mild unpredictability? I don't even...**_

**...**

_Dearest Ciel (I believe that's how you spell it. Names are such a nuisance),_

_If you are reading this, and you most certainly are, then I regret to inform you that I lied. I have absolutely no intention of making my son act any better than he was when I first came to you. My intention was purely that ten minutes of drunken intercourse you indulged in. And if you are blinking in shock, wondering how I know this, I must have to remind you that we are not the same. Pity. Still, now that that mess has been cleared up, I now have the right to kill you if you leave him. _

_Let me explain. You see, as he is the more effeminate of the relationship, I have complete control over who he's with. And honestly, you make him miserable, which pleases me. So forcing the completion of your bond was a much needed action to be taken. I'm sorry for having inconvenienced you, I assure you that the oncoming night terrors will eventually subside. _

_But you've dealt with this sort of thing before, yeah?_

_Yours ever so truly, _

_V.M._

_P.S. She tasted delicious. You should be proud of her._

**...**

Ciel sighed and stuffed the letter into his trouser pocket. Tired, stumbling, he made his way back to the bedroom. Sebastian was sitting up. He had dark rings already forming under his eyes. "Go ahead and-"

"I can't sleep anymore, I'll never go back to bed I swear." Sebastian muttered quietly to himself, obviously ignoring Ciel while cutting him off. " Sure, you made the voices go away, but they'll come back. They _always_ will. Just like _him_. I want a child. I want my _child_, Ciel. Why can't you give me that? Why does everyone have to fail at everything? Just... I'm ready to die. Kill me if you're angry, it's alright."

"Sebastian?"

"Leave me alone, this is your fault, too!" Sebastian slid clumsily out of bed. "I shouldn't have tried to attach myself to you. I only get to watch you and everything else die."

"Sebastian." Ciel snapped. The boy looked at him and sobbed. "Get back in bed. I'm still here, you don't need to be worrying about my life. We need to figure out what we're going to do with... this mess-"

"C-_Charity_..."

"What we're going to do with Charity." He opened his arms as Sebastian toddled over and crashed into him. "I know it's hard, but we have to do something, so I need you to settle down until everything's okay. Okay?"

"Ciel..."

"Please, Sebastian, try to make this easy for the both of us."

Sebastian nodded and stood up. Without any rhyme or reason He pushed his dresser away from the wall it leaned arms weakly pulled a thin iron rod off of its back and plunged it into the wall . It went through the wallpaper easily, like butter, letting him pry away a plank of wood. "There's a fireplace behind this. _He_ used to come through it so I boarded it up." Sebastian tossed the rod over his shoulder and slid over the top of the dresser. "You can unblock it and use it while I take a bath."

**...**

Uncountable splinters, papercuts and mouthfuls of plaster later, the fireplace was open. Ciel sighed. Admittedly, he wasn't ready to do this. He shook the bits of wall out of his hair as he left the bedroom to grab the box, deciding to delay it and turn towards the bathroom.

How very odd_. No noise?_

Ciel pushed the door open, expecting to find Sebastian asleep in cold water. "What the hell?" He cursed under his breath and walked further into the bathroom, hoping to find the boy hiding from something. _Nothing_.

Absolutely nothing.

"Fuck. Sebastian?"

**...**

Sebastian stumbled through the wooded path. Barefoot, wrapped in a towel, traversing this particular area of the land extending from his backyard was extremely shifting soft, wet clay-like mud of the earth was peppered with spines and other prickly organics that reached up like the hands of hopeless city dwellers reaching out of a polluted sea during centennial cleansing. The pain was the same, insignificant hands latching onto him and begging for their way out of their little mess. Sebastian felt frowns tug at his lips with each little prick.

There were monsters lumbering about, as well, their vibrations lapping at the delicate soles of his feet. Dying, yes, but they still hunted. Still stunk like rotting flesh, stirred shadows like black dye in water with broken, bony fingers. Sebastian without a doubt heard their pained groans, though their frequency was so low it was hard for even his keen hearing to catch.

He'd have to watch out for them with his mate no longer with him.

Finally, the soles of his feet worn, stained with blood and mud, Sebastian stopped at a familiar back door. Chips of paint, cream-colored squarish butterflies, fluttered against his wrist as he knocked with a shaking fist. The boy took a back as footsteps neared. This face would surely be willing to save him from the man now desperately searching for him a little more than a mile away.

"Sebastian?" The tall, dark and handsome adult stood shocked in the rear doorway.

"T-there was an accident. Agni..." Sebastian worked up the tears he needed to get his ticket in. "Can I...can I stay here?" And that wasn't even a complete lie. Sebastian sensed dreadful trepidation behind the numbness the death of his second baby had blessed him with; he knew that his friend was far too kind and trusting to scrutinize far enough to see past his crocodile tears.

The happiness that came with the strong arms lifting his childish frame off of the earth, however, was authentic. Sebastian felt so much safer with this one than he did with Ciel, who couldn't do anything but fail at everything. After all, Agni had done nothing but give help when he asked for it.

"What happened, Sebastian?" He spoke softly. It sent tingles down the young demon's spine.

"Can't." He whimpered and buried his face in the adult's neck. "I-I'm tired. Please, bed?"

"Let's get you cleaned up, first, alright?" Agni's accent was soothing. A blankly calm child nodded back, his shock black hair bouncing weakly against his shoulders as he was carried to the small bathroom hiding in the furthest reaches of the house.

There was, of course, the issue of removing the towel and stepping into the invitingly warm water Agni would undoubtedly run for him. Ciel was really the only one who'd bathed him fully; he usually left his underwear on until he was alone to get dressed. Then again, Ciel wasn't even competent enough to really take care of him. The guy could only do so much, and that seemed to be nothing but failing to comfort him. It was such a shame, he had so much potential and couldn't even be trusted anymore. But that's what Agni was for, right? He was trustworthy, didn't have his mind set on getting the boy drunk and taking advantage of him while he was ill.

A split-second's time passed where Sebastian felt nearly as much disdain for Ciel as he did his father. Realizing how unfair that was, he shook it off and coaxed himself into nothingness white bliss, relishing in it as it pulled him under. Maybe a little too much, as he nearly had fallen asleep by the time he was placed in the water.

"Do you want to wash yourself?" Agni spoke softly into his ear once again, like they were keeping a secret. Sebastian slowly shook his head, coming out of his self-induced trance. The adult nodded and began cleaning the mud off of his skinny, white body.

"Nn.._m_?" Sebastian mewled quietly as Agni moved the washcloth further up his leg. Sensing no intent to advance past help, he leaned back and did his best to make it easier. This was so _nice_.

**...**

Ciel couldn't breathe. _God damn it, if he had an asthma attack now..._

Sebastian wasn't anywhere in the building, his room, the kitchen, the attic. He was nowhere outside around the house. At this rate, those _chicken legs_ of his could have carried him all the way to London. Without clothes. Whatever had compelled him to run had surely convinced him to go thoroughly enough for him to leave spontaneously.

So what was he supposed to do? He wasn't going to find Sebastian any time soon, if he ever did. Ciel sat down on the back steps and stared into the thick trees and strange flowers that bordered the backyard. There was a great possibility that he was dead. As a human, that is. What if what he really was just got bored and went back to wherever it came from? Ciel would have to go live with his aunt again.

**...**

Sebastian pulled his spare clothes out from under a sofa cushion, something comfortable that he missed wearing. It was just like Christmas, pulling his favorite gray, lace-trimmed thigh socks up his legs and the loose, silvery silk of the empire cut, tea length nightgown over his head. The curls in his hair bounced with vigor, his feet pulling him towards the kitchen where Agni was preparing food.

He'd refused not to. Really, Sebastian was fine with it. He saw it as a way to help him back. This particular man had lost someone important to him to illness, someone he wouldn't put a name or face on. But that was his excuse for always being ready to help Sebastian, no matter what the task was.

Why couldn't_ Ciel _be like that? What a child he was, anyway.

"Do I look any better?" The boy spoke up, entering the room with the cream and gold tile floor. Agni looked at him over his shoulder. Eyes excluded, Sebastian looked completely washed out.

"Yes, of course." Agni smiled and turned back to the stove. "I'm glad you came to visit today, it was getting a little too quiet around here."

"Well, you're the only person I know here, I don't see why I wouldn't have come here." Sebastian smiled back. Whatever, one little flirtatious line wasn't going to hurt either one of them. Shaking off the discomfort of what the adult had said, he continued forward. "And I like it better here, anyways." He got a grunt in response; that was all for a couple of minutes.

"So," Agni finally broke through the scab of silence, "What exactly happened?"

"The man who was with me the last time I saw you...he hurt me, that's all." No need to go into detail there, Agni didn't need to get involved in that mess. Sebastian was tempted to beam when it was left at that.

"Could you get the dishes, please?" Agni spoke again minutes later. He nodded and walked to the cabinets, opening them and carefully running his fingertips along the edges of the Davidson-esque glass before slipping out a couple of plates.

**...**

**Note: **_**Okay, okay. Let's make this excuse short. Friday was my birthday last week so the rest of the week got really busy, then I was at a friends house and only one of her computers had internet and I couldn't get on long enough to work and then there was incredible writers block that I just barely got over a couple days ago. But I keep falling asleep earlier than usual, so... Yes. This is certainly going in an interesting direction. Review? It would be nice of you~ C:**_


	20. Ubi Somnus

**Warning: **_**Eating, mirror weirdness, all-over-the-place-ness, a blonde and a guy that I really rather dislike.**_

**...**

Moloch less-than-gracefully hopscotched across the rooftops of the outer city. Illness was catching up with him faster than should have been were to blame, of course. What with their preference of squirming infants over their own had indeed changed and he was dying with the old ways of life.

His silvery eyes cast down on a mid-sized townhouse. He could smell Gaap from where he was. The young demon's pheromones were going crazy s winter neared. Disgustingly sweet he was. To the point that he was a sorry, sugar-coated excuse for a demon. His voice, his clothes and entire appearance were that of a spoiled tart with a knack for acting innocent, turned city-dweller, _hardly _a devil at all anymore.

Sadly, though, Moloch didn't have the energy to pull him out of bed and force havoc by himself. It wasn't a good night and his little friend was stronger than the one previous. Sighing, he jumped onto the roof above his son's bed. "Lucky little _whore_, aren't you?" And with that, he lept away into the forest to hide with his kind.

**...**

_So close._

His father had been a hair's breadth away. Sebastian rocked his body back and forth, thighs rubbing their own flesh red and raw. The heat within him was drawing all of them nearer. Predators. Sick, disgusting predators.

"_Damn it all_!" he hissed, falling face first into the mattress, hind end up in the air. The cussing continued for quite some time, muffled by the cushion below.

Dying monsters, the thief, Agni, Ciel, all of them could sense it. He was fucked in either sense. He could be crushed, raped or just found if it didn't stop.

Sebastian's tail tucked out of his spine, the smooth leather squeezing his own thigh "A-aah. No, stop it. I want sleep. Give me sleep." It squeezed harder. "Stop, you're making it hurt." And again, it constricted. His eyes got teary. "Please, Gaap, stop this."

_Sebastian..._

His tail slithered away from his leg and wrapped around his wrist almost affectionately. Sebastian sighed and forced himself flat against the bed, paying no mind to the gentle stroking against his fingers.

_You're taking so much for granted. You're going to get so many great things if he's with man in this house is a city dweller, not worthy of you in the slightest._

"What makes you think that?" The boy mumbled into his pillow.

_He's nice, yeah, but your human has lost everything. The clumsiness, his dull personality is only a facade. He wants to help you. Agni, on the other hand, is a bit of a zealot and would try to destroy you if he knew what you really were. You want this?_

"No..." Sebastian sniffled and nuzzled his pillow. His hair caught, silky black rubbing against his quickly cooling cheek.

_Well, there's no helping it now. Wait here until the other voices come back. Ciel will be ready for you then._

**...**

Ciel paced the hallway. The familiar stench of burning flesh was filling Sebastian's otherwise empty bedroom and it seemed like if he didn't move, he would vomit and pass out and the fire in the hidden fireplace would burn out of control. His vision periodically blurred and forced him to weave and stumble into a wall.

"Ugh." He groaned and slid to the floor. "Nevermind this. That brat causes too many problems, the least he could do was stay and make sure the place didn't burn down so I could take a damn nap."

"_Hey_." Ciel jumped and looked around for the pouty and distance vocalization. He closed his eyes, head shaking.

"I'm hearing things, too. _Wonderful_."

"No you aren't. Get up off of the floor and come here, Ciel." Ciel cursed under his breath and moved towards the sweetly demanding voice. There, in the vanity mirror, stood an emaciated, tailed image of Sebastian.

He was clad in black bloomers and gray stockings and sweater, hair long and straight, pulled over both shoulders. The boy's eyes glimmered darkly and he smiled. Ciel found it strangely beautiful. "I'm going crazy." He blinked furiously.

"No." One small, pale hand pressed against the unreachable side of the glass. Ciel's hand came up to meet it and conform to the phantom heat there. "I'm in bed right now," the image whipped its tail. "I'm safe, though."

"Well that's good."

Glass Sebastian moved closer, letting Ciel's reflection appear where he'd been before. "I miss you, you know. I don't think we need to be in an intimate relationship, but... But I'd like it if we shared a bed. I like it when you hold me. This heat? The warmth you feel from me? It's not real. I don't feel it past my skin, but you _penetrate _me."

Ciel stared back without response, watching his reflection. "If you could," The other Ciel wrapped himself around the slightly exposed shoulders of the animal child. "Will you please be with me for the night? It won't hurt, you'll wake up here and safe. I just need someone to lie down with."

"I..." Ciel shivered and pulled his hand off of the mirror like it was red hot. The image in the mirror grew slightly blurry, both characters nearing the glass to avoid the fog. One of them, perhaps both, was grinning mischievously.

"You'd like it, too. Just to make sure monsters don't come to get me." The little one's smile fell, the background going dark. There was a faint shambling, hordes of twisted and broken figures advancing on them, jaws swinging, eyes clouded. "You wouldn't want them to eat me, _would you_?" His reflection disappeared. "You surely aren't that heartless, Ciel. You couldn't possibly intend to _kill _me and keep a clean conscious. Don't make me suffer."

"Sebastian. Stop it."

His horns sprouted, blood streaking down his cheeks. "I cannot stop what cannot be helped, Ciel Phantomhive."

"I'm not going to do it." Ciel took a step back. The figures in the back ground stopped. Everything did, and it terrified him. The altered image of Sebastian glared viciously.

"_Fine _then. This is blood on_ your _hands." The young demon turned around. "I expect you to clean up your act by the time I return. None of this city dweller bullshit." And just like that, the image cleared to it's normal reflective silver surface.

"City..._dweller_?"

**...**

Sebastian sat up in bed after one terribly short and nightmarish nap. He felt inexplicably upset and alone. "Agni?" He called into the darkness. His door opened. "Oh. You were right there..."

"Just walking by. I couldn't sleep." The adult smiled. "Are you alright?"

A wave of comfort washed over him. Sebastian tried to smile, and upon failing shook his head. Agni entered the room and sat down on the bed, well-worn hands gently smoothing over Sebastian's hair. "What is it?"

"I think I had a nightmare."

"You think you did?"

"I don't exactly recall what it was about, but..." He trailed off, sniffling quietly. Sebastian leaned into the soul-penetrating warmth of his hand. There was a fatherly affection there that the boy hadn't witnessed in a long time. Maybe 500 years or so. "I feel kind of _empty_."

"If there's anything I could-" Agni stopped speaking when he was met with the shaken crimson glance he was shot.

This couldn't possibly be happening. Sebastian knew, he knew, that all paternal affection was a lie. It resulted in nothing but loss and heartbreak, he'd witnessed it so many times before. "Could you kiss me goodnight before you go?" He would take care of it. He wasn't helpless just because he'd escaped from his bond with Ciel. He could make the lies stop on his own.

Confused, Agni complied. Sebastian took his chance and dug his sharpened fingernails into his neck and pulled him in deeper. His long, smooth tongue plunged down the back of the adult's throat, reaching further and further into him until he stopped his desperate struggling.

_There_. He was _gone_ now. Despite the faint regret he already carried for what he'd just done, Sebastian felt just short of fantastic. His mind was clear and free of voices and visions of the lower levels he was threatened with. He turned his head and stared blankly at Agni, stroking his hair in return. "I apologize, human. I couldn't contain myself. I hope you understand someday." His stomach churned. 'I mean it, I truly am sorry."

Sebastian gently lifted the hollow body and pulled it onto the bed beside him, curling up with it while it was still relatively warm.

**...**

The morning was dark. Even at ten o'clock, the sky was heavy with gray clouds that threatened with loud rumbles to burst and spill their insides over the earth. The scent of damp ground was already wafting into the house like food from a kitchen. Moving away from the cold cadaver in the bed beside him, Sebastian slid out of bed and climbed out of the window.

He had nowhere to go. Ciel was more than possibly upset with him, Agni was gone and there was no way in hell he was going to go back to, well, hell. Feet freezing upon contact with the outside, he walked somberly. It would only take an hour or so to reach town from where he was if he ran. He wasn't going to.

Within two hours, Sebastian was walking among the outer shops of London, streets full more of bird sounds than people songbirds were leaving with the last of autumn approaching. Ravens, large, magnificent black birds they were, circled overhead like a protective shield forcing heaven away. Or maybe keeping it for themselves. "Don't be so selfish, boasting your flying talent like that. I'm fused to the ground down here!"

"What are you yelling about?" A blonde boy said, stopping as he passed by. "Why are you dressed like that?" Sebastian glared at him, contemplating following and tripping the ugly little snot when he started to walk away. If he ever did.

"Why do you insist on staring at me? I had a bad night, okay?"

"Oh." Just _oh_. The blonde tilted his head and laughed. Sebastian sneered. He was tempted to punch the little tart right between the eyes. "You look hungry."

"Hungry, huh?" Yeah, maybe for him.

"Yeah. Help me find my butler so I can take you out. He has my money." The blonde grabbed Sebastian's arm and started dragging him around.

"But I'm not-!" Sebastian tried to pull away. The other boy stopped and pouted before letting him go, sending him backwards into a taller, oppressive figure.

Not just anyone was oppressive. Terrified of just what he might see, Sebastian turned slowly. A man with short, curly black hair and golden eyes looked down upon him stoically. Those eyes. "_N-no_..." A prickly feeling slithered over the surface of his skin.

"He won't come eat with us," The blonde complained. Sebastian didn't exactly hear him, but the other demon must have. "Please make him, Claude. Please?"

There was a pause. The pinkish tip of the older demon's tongue slid over his lips, composing a sly little smile. "_Yes_, your highness."

**...**

**Note: **_**So... it's a little later than I'd hoped, but 11-year-old brothers refuse to let some people work on things they like to do. I'm up with a huge bag of candy and some root beer, I'll be fine. Review, pretty please~**_


	21. Ipsa Prope

**Warnings: **_**A mention or two of rape for certain, possibly some language, as is my way, but I'm writing this in in the ff editor, which is a sign of me hurrying so I don't have time to read through it. (I'm cooking so... blah, can't burn my food.) Enjoy, darlings. You know your responses make me smile no matter what~**_

**...**

"_You know_," Alois started. This child was a brainless little twit, wouldn't be silent for five goddamn minutes, "I didn't get my Christmas shopping done today because of you. We're going to have to come back out here."

"Yes, that's right." His butler, Claude Faustus turned to look at the dark-haired boy sitting beside him. "What a pity."

"Oh, I'm sure it's not that much of a nuisance." Sebastian huffed and pressed himself up against the wall of the carriage in an effort to get Faustus's breath off of his skin. Disgusting demon filth.

"Honestly." The elder demon sighed right back. "You're a stubborn little one, aren't you?"

"You have no idea."

**...**

Life in the Trancy mansion wasn't difficult, per se, but it was one of trying to avoid an attention whore and a potential rapist. Sebastian quite often found himself locking himself away in random rooms to get away from them both.

Today was different, of course. They were going back out to London for shopping tomorrow, and the Trancy brat insisted on having him get as dressed up as much as possible now so they could leave first thing. And so, Sebastian was standing in a room full of slutty clothing that would have made him happy if Claude wasn't there to 'help' him.

"I don't like any of it."

"Nonsense," Claude moved behind him and reached around him to grab a petticoat. "Just choose something so you don't upset him."

"I won't." Sebastian spoke quietly.

"I believe you must." Claude pinned him to the bed. "We don't want a pretty little princess like you getting hurt so soon, do we?"

"Princess..._Corson_?" The younger demon froze and trembled from beneath him. There was no way one of them had found him again, let alone on earth. All 21 of them were supposed to stay within the city until further notices as directed by his bastard father, and even if Moloch hated him, he wouldn't stop torturing more to torture one.

Claude took a step back and turned him around. "Oh, you were so close." His fingers slid the buttons of Sebastian's borrowed shirt out of their holes in a failed attempt to mimic sensuality. Sebastian refused to look at him. That piss yellow stare was probably focused on the scar-like mark on his neck. "Corson is my father."

Sebastian turned his head in the opposite direction. "Nothing comes from filth but filth, whichever one you are, you're nothing but slowly rotting meat to me. It would be wise to stop touching me at this point. I'm not interested."

"You've hardly had time to judge me-"

"You're a demon. I told you I'm not interested." He growled and finally gathered the courage to stare up at Claude. The other demon smiled back and placed a gloved hand on his chest and pushed him backwards.

"I don't believe it matters whether you are or not. You're weaker than I am and that wretched mistake of yours isn't around to pull you away." His lips were cold and clammy, exploring the curve of the younger demon's neck with almost medical precision. His tongue slid over the scar and set electricity into Sebastian's spine and paralyzed him.

"Stop this. D-do you even know who I am?"

"Do you?" Claude began rearranging his limbs to his liking. A response didn't come. Sebastian felt like he was going to vomit.

"I-I..." He began, voice just above a whisper. "I am the demon Gaap. I may be young compared to you, but I govern the southern regions of hell with an iron fist. My army is one of the best in the entire netherworld and I am as mighty as the one called Beleth and I can do so much more than you could ever hope to. I am small now, but I will destroy our dictator and I will rule hell. When I do, I will destroy you."

"Oh, is that so?" Claude chuckled and lifted his limp legs up to his shoulders.

"Just you wait, you pig." Sebastian smiled weakly, "I've done this before, you're just wasting your time right now."

**...**

Ciel woke up to a pounding headache. His arms and legs were a bit sore as well, but that was more explainable after he opened his eyes and tried to move. "What the hell..." He tugged at the strips of cloth the held him down to the dining room chair he was sitting in.

"Ah, you're up." Sebastian's father walked out of the kitchen with a cup of tea, sitting down in the chair across the table from him.

"What's going on?"

"Renegade children messing things up." The china that Ciel hadn't even seen before clinked as it hit the surface of the table. "I'm coming to you as a father in law, not as a monster, so I suggest you behave. I'd like to keep this as calm as possible so I can go home."

Ciel stared into his eyes, watched them cloud over defensively and lower their lids with a knowing look. Ashamed that he'd been caught, he cast his uncovered eye's gaze downward. "Fine then. What do you want?"

"My poor, idiot son has gone and found himself another demon. Now, normally I wouldn't complain, but the guy Is just..._ queer_. You know?" Vincent looked to the man across the table and sighed. "For all I know, he could end up dead."

"And you're so worried about him, aren't you?" Ciel snapped. "You can kill an infant, but god forbid anyone stop your little game."

"I_ thought _I told you to remain calm." His elder's eyes lit up. "I've got as much as I can under control. I just need you to keep an eye on your mail and accept any invitations you receive. I can't have him with the Faustus brat, he'll get spoiled and fucked to a bloody pulp. Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Damn. Alright, then, I suppose I'll go." Vincent turned his teacup upside down on its saucer. Upon standing he turned around and spoke to no one in particular, "This would all run so smoothly if those who had the ability would control their little brats."

**...**

"You have such a cute tummy," Claude spoke softly, dipping his tongue into Sebastian's navel. The boy squirmed weakly and sobbed. He was just now getting his ability to move back. Only in his hips, as well. He couldn't exactly decide on what the other demon was planning; either to lick him clean and avoid bathing him or taking his time to contemplate his next turn. "It's so hollow and lets everything pool in the perfect center."

"You sound like a drunk." He groaned in response. Claude didn't hear him.

"We'd make such cute babies," Claude glanced up at him hungrily. Sebastian closed his eyes, crying quietly. His feet were placed on the other's shoulders to give better access to Sebastian's more intimate parts. "Don't you think so?"

"_I hate you_." The words sparked something in Claude's blood. He squeezed Sebastian's legs until blood vessels broke.

"You're thighs are nice, too. You may be thin, but they touch together. You're the most desirable thing I've seen in a while."

"A-ah. Stop it, that hurts." Sebastian hissed, trying to struggle. It didn't work, he was still too weak to do anything.

"I wish I could, but you teased me so much." Claude moved his hands away from the dark spots on Sebastian's thighs to admire his work. "These things are exquisite. Do they jiggle when you ride? _Hm_? I bet they do. I bet they don't get all of the attention you'd like, that nobody really watches them as your soft skin slaps against their hips. Maybe if you weren't so tight and unused, I could paint them for you with that sweet, sticky stuff."

"I don't want this, just go away!"

"Yes you do, I can smell it." The elder demon's fangs hung over his lower lip, drool following sloppily. "Such a pretty princess, you put my dear master to shame."

"I said it and I meant it, Faustus, get off of me!" Sebastian's strength came roaring back, legs throwing Claude into the wall opposite of where they were. "I'll get dressed in the morning. Leave me alone."

**...**

The breakfast that bastard had cooked smelled nauseating. Sebastian looked down at the food tentatively, sighing before lifting the ugly, gold cutlery. The house's maid, Hannah something-or-other, was standing between him and Alois's chair, throwing the young demon odd little glances every now and again.

"Ugh, you aren't dressed yet?" Alois yawned as he sat down. He kicked Sebastian in the shin after Claude pushed his chair in, waving his butler away simultaneously. "You better hurry up and finish eating so we can go." Sebastian shook his head silently. "Are you listening?"

"Fine!" The dark-haired boy snapped, throwing the gaudy tableware to the floor as he stormed out. Getting so dressed up on his own was not something he enjoyed, not in the slightest. He didn't even want to leave. It was obvious that Claude would be taking every opportunity he could to be alone with him.

It wasn't until the door had shut that he noticed the maid had followed. He turned to look at her. "I thought you might be sore, so I came to help..." She spoke almost silently, the false demure flowing heavily from her entire body. He could smell it under her natural perfume. Stupid female demons.

"And you think this why?" Sebastian turned away and began furiously unbuttoning his shirt.

"You smell like Claude." She stated bluntly. "Finding royalty like yourself must have put him in a bit of an abusive mood. There aren't many who are fond of your type."

"My type? Darling, I'm not interested. What are you, a _succubus_? Find something better to do than bathe me in pity you don't even feel." The nightshirt fell to the floor with a slight whooshing sound.

"What? I'm just trying to be polite to the guest. I have no interest in an effeminate brat like yourself. Still growing at your age." Sebastian sighed and nodded, giving her permission to pull on his clothes.

"Touch me once, you'll lose whatever place you hold. I'll make sure of it."

First came the stockings, petticoat and corset, all black, the stockings made of patches of assorted lace, then the dress, knee length, black satin panels under layers of black brocade with purple lace trimming. It had a square neckline and sleeves that opened at the elbow that ended and dripped with layers of lace and the same fabrics. Finally came the boots, dark suede and leather that came halfway up the calf, done up with silver butterfly-shaped buttons, a short, fur-trimmed cape and gloves.

If there was anything good about the Trancy brat, it was his taste in costumes he wanted to throw away. Most of them, anyway.

Hannah gently brushed through Sebastian's hair, now reaching a little past his shoulders and beginning to curl. "I'm surprised a male such as yourself has such a delicate scent. What is it?"

"Sandalwood, vanilla, rose and cinnamon." He droned in reply.

"Ah. Well, I suppose..." She trailed off. "You should get going before the master gets any angrier with you."

"I couldn't care any less. It took five minutes, not an hour." Sebastian snorted and turned to leave.

**...**

There was no point to any of this. And just how many times were they going to rob him of his privacy? Alois had tried to follow him into the bathroom just before they left, Claude kept sneaking up behind him in the shops..._ Really_? Sebastian continued to walk down isles of clean fabric.

"Sebastian?" He turned to find Ciel standing behind him, a newly tailored suit handing over his arm.

"C-Ciel..." Sebastian ran towards him and pulled the suit away from Ciel, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing his jaw line. "Save me, they're-"

"There you are." Claude growled like a disapproving father, turning the corner. "What do you think you're doing here."

"Ah!" Sebastian was yanked away from his semi-trusted companion and to the floor.

"Who are_ you_?"

"Ah, stupid human," Claude grabbed Sebastian and threw him over his shoulder. "You're in no condition to fight me, so I suggest you stay away from him. I'm claiming him." Sebastian started to scream and struggle violently, pounding his fists on the older demon's back. Claude rolled his eyes and spanked the back of his thighs. This elicited a squeaky gasp from Sebastian who fell limp. "Okay?"

Ciel instantaneously began to reply, "What?_ No_, it's not okay-"

"I suggest you leave now before he makes any more of a scene." Claude turned around and began walking away. Ciel, left to stare at not much more than the other man's back, caught a glimpse of a silently crying Sebastian. He looked entirely lost and powerless, just hanging there. He took a step forward to go after them.

And he was pulled right back. He turned to find Sebastian's father, looking half dead and disheveled. "Let them be." Ciel glared. "I mean it, he's just going to get hurt. Nobody wants blood on their hands here."

"Why do you even care?"

"I know that guy's father, and his father is a reckless dick who pissed me off." Vincent scowled to himself for a moment. "It'll be best to leave them until he's bored so he doesn't put up a fight. I'll make sure my idiot son doesn't get into trouble."

**...**

Sebastian sat quietly in the carriage, blocking out Claude's angry chastising. Between being treated like a sex toy and a child, he had no opportunity to defend himself. This was all there was. Why hadn't Ciel followed them? Why hadn't he raised his voice, called the police, anything? Sebastian doubled over and sobbed into his lap.

"Stop that," Claude sneered quietly. He jumped out and lifted Alois inside. Sebastian continued to cry.

"What's your problem?" Trancy kicked at his boots. "Well?"

"I want Ciel!" Tearfully glaring, Sebastian watched Claude climb in. "You bastard, let me out of here, I want Ciel!"

"He doesn't seem to want you, so why don't you take a deep breath and calm down?" The carriage lurched forward. "We've only got one or two more shops to go. Can I trust you to stay in here while we go?"

"I don't care if he doesn't want me, I want him enough to make up for the both of us." Sebastian paused then let a few gasping sobs pass into the quiet air. "S-spineless ravisher you are, you just don't get it is all."

"_Ravisher_?" Alois glanced at Sebastian and then to Claude, who shook his head. The blonde pouted, "Nobody tells me anything."

**...**

**Note: **_**Ah, jeebus. Claude, why do you have to be such a lame asshole? Your dubbed voice sounds like a golf commentator and you look like William with a moustache on your head. "Vincent", Moloch, whatever, you're being a confusing douche. Ugh, a rant, loverly. Review if you have the time, I'll just be over here fangirling over Agni, Ciel and Sebastian. So weird...**_


	22. Oportet Somnia

**Warning: **_**Language and oddness, but you know me by now so...**_

**...**

City dwellers. The souls of those that were denied the grace of heaven, the emptiness of limbo, even the expendable demons that were bound into legions refused to eat them. Half-solid creatures who had not earned the torment of hell but were stuck there. Their existent consisted of occasional, useless violence and nervous anticipation of being drowned in hellwater when it came to clear the way for newcomers. District by district, these whores, thieves, children and so on disappeared in a screeching flash. Forgettable, weak, undesirable, considered the true anti-demon by the royalty. To call anyone of any station a city dweller was to put a bounty on your own head.

The son of a king. Gaap had called Corson's only heir a city dweller despite his actions being considered the norm. Some citron-eyed rapist could kill him for that. Torture was an enforced punishment. Not strictly, but his eyes thickened the need to make it so. Red designated either inbreds or those with the capacity to lose control over everything, the strongest and perhaps most terrifying of demons. Those of the latter that managed to live through their first century were free game, play things for others to hone their skills on. Legitimately crimson-eyed devils lived the life of hell's most indulgent sinner to keep them down and out of power.

Gaap waited. Surgat (Claude) would be slithering his way into bed and commence a night of awful, terrifying and unwanted sex. _Fucking city dweller_.

The bedclothes were peeled back, both demons in true form and nude, the elder sitting on his haunches above the younger like an animal. Surgat's skin was blotchy, the main color the ill gray color of dead flesh and just as clammy. Surgat's eyes were overtaken with cataracts, his lips were a tight, thin line stretching from ear to ear, diseased mouth hanging open like an old toys. Gums black and moldy, fangs yellow, pus dripping from his lower canines as if it were tongue hung out like a snake or tentacle, exploring, exploring the human-esque form below him with wild vigor. Gaap held his breath, feeling the tendril slither up his side to his neck.

His mark, his warning to others that he was mated to someone. That superficial little scar, a perpendicular double slash, rendered him useless if it received the proper mix of hormones. Cold, acidic electricity shot down his spine as the Surgat's tongue pulled away from it. The following submissive moan and erection were purely involuntary.

"Such a _shame_," The elder hissed, lifting essentially dead hips into the air, "that we couldn't get along." His tail, shining like spilled oil and nearly coated with inch long spines, emerged from behind him and prodded at. The poison-tipped needles shredded into the smaller demon's insides. Before he could screech, it was ripping itself out in the opposite direction. Surgat's webbed and rotting hand flew over his mouth. "Not a sound, my food is sleeping."

Gaap weakly sobbed Ciel's name behind the slim flesh. Surgat stopped. Slowly, his tail tore out of him. If his goal was sexually mauling the tiny body beneath him, the elder demon knew what he was doing better than anyone. Still crouched, Surgat wrapped the younger's thighs around his hip, stiff member sliding inside of him, feeling just like dry gravel.

**...**

Sebastian gasped. Shocked into consciousness, his eyes snapped open and searched the darkness above him for whatever had done it. He couldn't move, so he feared the worse. "W-wha-"

"_Sh_." Someone hushed him quietly. Three nearly identical demons moved into his narrow line of sight. Sebastian clamped his eyes shut. They mumbled to each other and lifted him up. He couldn't, not even with his fantastic hearing, catch exactly what they were saying about him, if it was truly about him. Still feeling searing throbs of pain throughout his entire body, it was hard to tell if his ability to assume correctly had been hindered or not.

The bathroom light shone on his face after a short walk. Sebastian relaxed his lids but still kept his eyes closed as he was lowered down into the scalding water. His tail whipped out and hit one of them, sending whoever it was backwards into a shelf or something. Synchronized footsteps followed, one set lasting longer as the feet traveled the distance they'd been thrown.

The triplets paired of. Two hands to hold him under, two to scrub and two to keep him finally opened his eyes to find two of the Tyrian purple-haired heathens fixed on his face. They blinked and looked at the third, who was nearly skinning Sebastian with the washcloth he was using. There was a bruise developing on his forearm where he'd been hit with the tail he so cautiously watched as he finished the less intimate parts of the boy's body.

What exactly was he being punished for? Sebastian sobbed quietly behind the two hands wrapping around his cheeks and covering his mouth. This sort of pain should have been something he was used to, wanton maiming was an everyday thing here, but the combination of boiling water, missing layers of skin and _soap_...

They pulled him out of the bath, suddenly in even more of a hurry. Once more, they'd split into tasks. One dried him off, the other dressed him and the bruised third brushed his hair until it began to lifted him and carried him to a new room, putting him on the bed next to a hot, early breakfast and locking him in.

**...**

This place was a dungeon. Fraudulently pleasant, a painting on the far wall, peach and cream colored wall paper, oil lamps on either side of the large bed, which was dressed with salmon tinted bedclothes. There were curtains made with the pink and orange-ish hanging from the back wall, but Sebastian had pulled these back a little less than an hour ago to find nothing but more wallpaper. No window, no clock and the lock on the outside.

Sebastian threw his empty dishes and the tray at the door, china shattering, tinkling to the floor. "I hate all of you!" He screeched. There was a thump against the door that sent him flying to hide behind the bed.

On the other side of the wall walked Thompson, Timber and Canterbury, being followed by Claude, Hannah and Alois down the hall. One of them, Alois couldn't tell from the other side, hit the wall as they walked by. There had been a distant noise from beyond the wall just before. Then again, he could have been hearing things. "So..." He began to speak. Claude glared at him. "Where did that kid go, anyways? I saw him last night and he was gone this morning."

"I have no idea." Claude growled, staring at the triplets' backs. He didn't look it, but Alois knew his butler was angry. He'd never really been mad like that. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, he took a side step away. Hannah watched them both and slowed her walking until she was a foot or so behind and between the both of them.

"What are we doing today, then?" The blonde continued. "We could go to the shops again to get more candy."

"No shops." Claude sighed, "We've got plenty for Christmas."

"_Aw_, you're no fun."

Sebastian sighed. The petty argument continued but faded away as the small group passed by. He climbed back onto the bed and kicked the covers down. This was positively ridiculous. It was becoming obvious that he wasn't going to escape without the aid of his red-eyed clanpersons, the female or the other two which he began to despise more and more as he thought about them. Their faces... They'd look nice if he could pull his claws through them.

Yes, a _Sebastian-style _makeover for both of them, free of charge. They'd both earned it by keeping him away from his mate. While fucking a mated demon was considered fine by many of his kind, complete departure was punishable. Being the victim, the little devil child would gladly deliver that punishment whenever he got the chance.

But first, he had to get out of the room.

Sebastian closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The room smelled distinctly of chocolate and rotting meat. He couldn't decide its origin, like it'd been mixed in the paste holding the paper to the wall and was seeping out. How to get away from it? To avoid being swallowed by the sickly odor and ugly decor. His hands rested on their opposite hips, pinning the bottom of his nightshirt down and creating a makeshift chastity belt or rapist alarm.

If they came back, he would know. Nobody would touch him. Nobody but Ciel, and that would come soon. Just to get out of this dungeon...

**...**

The lock on the door rumbled, breaking Sebastian's trance. His fingers were sore from clinging to his hips and so he let go, sitting up to watch the door open. The triplets entered in a shroud of darkness, stripping him down and shutting the door. They seemed to be in quite a hurry and completely uninterested in the boy. It was mildly comforting.

One dumped him into a mourning dress several layers at a time. It was black, obviously, but even in the shadow looked a tad bit purple, with a high collar, ruffled sleeves and skirt and a bustle. A second helped him with stockings, boots, gloves and cape, whispering about snow the entire time. Finally, the third did his best to pull the boy's hair back before giving up in frustration and pulling the hood over it.

They tugged him out of the hidden room, then the building. Hannah was waiting outside, dressed in a similar but not quite identical dress. "W-what's going on?" Sebastian mumbled in shock. Everything had moved so fast he was only now noticing the light frost surrounding them. The female demon held a finger up to her lips and lit a hurricane lamp. All four of the devils with him turned to the nearby forest and began to move, surrounding him and pushing him in the same direction.

After quite a bit of time, Hannah spoke. "We don't have much time and we can't go the entire way with you without being noticed by Faustus."

"Why are you helping me escape?"

"We heard you both last night. That and we honestly would hate to get in trouble for his stupidity. Your father knows and he's high up there." She smiled at him over her shoulder. "Like I said, I'd hate to lose my position, especially because of a little one like you."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and continued to move with them to the edge of the lake he knew was behind his home. With heart aflutter, he closed his eyes and inhaled. Yes, he could smell Ciel from here. However, before he could smile in relief, something struck him in the back. Breathless, he turned and saw the father of the man who had forcibly violated him standing over the others.

"C-Corson?" Sebastian wheezed, moving towards the frost ringed lake.

"What's the occasion?" Hannah smirked, hiding Sebastian behind her. One of the triplets motioned for him to get up and run while the older demon was distracted. He did.

"That kid is my son's toy." He heard the eldest say before moving towards him. Glancing back, Sebastian found him advancing at tremendous speed. Terror-stricken, he jumped into the freezing, light-eating lake. He was followed, of course, but Corson was noticeably more sluggish in liquids. One large, uncalloused hand reached out and grabbed him by the skirt. With very little struggle, it tore and Sebastian broke free, swimming to the opposite bank.

His skin had turned red with the iciness of the water, especially on his thighs. The wind burst through the trees in a sudden gust, a monster exhaling after a fruitless chase. The boy knew he was prey. To the best of his ability, soaked cold and exhausted, Sebastian ran. He had little to no time to reach his yard where he could scream and be heard by the only thing he was living for, and the ground was cold and covered in loose brambles and sharp pebbles. But he had to.

_He had too._

Painful stride after painful stride, he grew nearer to the dim warmth of his home. Ciel's silhouette was moving in the window of his room impatiently. He was waiting. Sebastian sped up, feet finally feeling the soft but frosty grass of his backyard.

The boy's muscles ached now. He shook and struggled to stay up, trying to at least make it to the door in order to collapse. Not even to do that, though. He pounded on the door when he reached it. Lightheaded, he swooned and hit the back porch like a stone, into the darkness.

**...**

**Note:**_** Augh. Why am I getting tangled up in writer's block so often lately? I have no drinks, no food... I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Enjoy~**_


	23. Saliunca Oppidum

**Warnings: **_**Um... Fluff? I guess I made Ciel a leg guy, but... Sebastian has some damn nice legs, I'm not gonna argue with him. Oh, and nudity, so cover your eyes when Sebastian gets naked so your innocent little minds aren't poisoned by his delicate, demonic beauty~**_

**...**

Ciel at first wrote the noise off as a branch against the door, almost instantly having to remind himself that there weren't really any trees in the yard behind the house. He walked cautiously to the door outside from the kitchen. Opening it, he found Sebastian wheezing and shaking on the stairs, wet and almost naked.

He crouched and scooped the boy up in his arms. "What am I to do with you?" Sebastian whimpered in response through his light unconsciousness. Ciel smiled and carried him in, locking the door behind them.

They moved to Sebastian's bedroom. The wall hiding the fireplace had been patched up, the wall paper replaced with a layer of storm cloud gray of the same scent of glue still lingered around the room and stirred which each movement they made, Ciel gently peeling the freezing, wet clothes off of the child and wrapping him up in one of his blankets. The wafting, chemical smell formed an invisible cloud around the both of them.

"What a mess. You're going to catch cold if you continue to do such reckless things.' The adult sighed and lifted the limp, tiny body off of the mattress. Sebastian stirred and moved closer to the source of meager body heat. "Honestly..."

"M-mm. Ciel." Sebastian's brow furrowed, his whining low and broken. "C-Ciel."

"I'm right here." This didn't seem to bring the boy any comfort. Even as the gentle hushing continued, it didn't Sebastian's arm struggled out from under the blanket cocoon and latched onto Ciel's shoulder. Steam surrounded them and still he didn't seem to be warm enough.

"Ciel, please..." Sebastian mumbled again and curled up. "Everyone is-"

"Everyone is what?" Finding it rather impossible to unwrap him as he was, Ciel put him down on the tile.

"No!" Sebastian's eyes were wide open in an instant, and he was on his knees with his arms around his older companion's neck. "Don't let go of me. Everyone else is a liar. I need to be with you. You'll be here forever."

"Calm down," Ciel chuckled half heartedly, letting his hand fall on Sebastian's lower back. "I'm here while you still need me, let's just leave it at that and get into the bath so you don't freeze to the core." Black curls stretched and contracted in the air, Sebastian shaking his furiously. "Why not?"

"I don't want it. I-it's going to hurt me. Only you."

"The water isn't going to do anything to you, it's going to keep you with me." Ciel pulled Sebastian's chin up and smiled, struggling to keep eye contact with the figety child in his arms. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

"I..."

A few gasping sobs and incomprehensible rantings after, long since the bath water had cooled, Sebastian fell silent, giving a permissive nod. Nearly blue and shivering like an animal caught in a storm, Ciel figured the tiny creature would have his tension melted away upon entry. Of course, it didn't work out. Sebastian screamed and thrashed as soon as he even touched the surface and Ciel's clothes were soaked with the water displaced in his frenzy.

His hands dove beneath the surface and pushed some part of him, what he could reach, and pinned him to the bottom of the bathtub. Sebastian just as quickly froze beneath them. Tesnion roared in him like fire, and for a moment, Ciel had no idea why.

"Please don't. Don't be like them. P-please." Sebastian whimpered. The stressed and looming Ciel looked down. Through pink and clouding water, he saw his nails nearly tearing the skin of his thighs off of the bones.

Moving liquid was the fanfare sounding his hands' resurrection from the bath. "You're bleeding... I'm sorry," He stuttered, "Did I hurt you, are you okay?" Sebastian stared down at the lingering, white handprints on his upper legs.

"Ciel, do you ever wish to be violent with me?"

"Of course not." The adult's hand came to rest on his cheek, "I'd like to think you don't deserve-"

"You'd like to think that, but you don't, do you? You think I'm senseless, I need what I'm missing beat into me."

"It seems the damage have been done. Why are you bleeding?"

"It has." Sebastian meekly agreed, his hand resting gently on top of Ciel's. "But the monsters stay away when I'm here, so if you want to be violent, you can. You couldn't hurt me nearly as much."

"That doesn't make sense..."

"I'm weak. I can repair the damage far easier than prevent it, especially when I act up. Weakness of the heart, mind and body is my personal curse and I've learned to deal with it." Ciel smiled. Sebastian shook his head and looked in his opposite direction. "Thank you for fixing the wall in the bedroom, I'm not used to that kind of reconstruction. Never needed it."

"Of course." Ciel laughed and fluttered an obligatory kiss against the boy's temple. "Sebastian,_ why are you bleeding_?"

"That man... stupid sonofa- It's nothing. The monsters cannot reach me here. Can I get out? I would like to lay down in a bed that doesn't smell like sex and teenage stupidity." He laughed again, even harder. "What's so funny?"

"You act like I thought enough to wash the bed sheets." Ciel stood and went to grab a towel. "I'll wash your hair and then I'll let you out."

"You did wash them, didn't you?"

"Of course, my little waif of a master can't be sleeping on the stains of my humanity, it's indecent." Sebastian stuck his tongue out and sunk below the water. His hair, curls heavy and tangled, fanned out on the surface. "You're not even going to humor me with a giggle?"

"Nope."

"That's too bad." The tedious ritual of hair washing went slowly. Sebastian grunted at first, then groaned and finally mewled softly in response to Ciel's fingers brushing and pressing gently against his scalp. "Did you hurt your head?"

"I fell, moron." The boy shifted uncomfortably and moaned. "You can stop now."

"Alright, fine. But only on one condition." Ciel dunked his hands into the water.

"And what would that be?" Sebastian tilted his head back, eyes unblinking as the water cascaded down his face and back.

"Don't_ ever _cut your hair again."

**...**

"I picked some clothes up for you after you were taken away by...whomever you were with." Ciel called from the dark recesses of the bedroom. Candlelight glowed into the room from where Sebastian stood, in the doorway, hair dripping and still wrapped in a towel. His skin took on the golden glow of the illuminating source in his hand.

"I can see the stains on the floor." He mumbled, leading wet footprints into the center of the room. Ciel glanced over and found himself obsessed with the weirdest thing. His eyes stopped and focused on the little droplets of water slowly climb down the boy's smooth, shimmering legs. He desperately wanted to kiss them away. Just like a hopeless romantic and tears in the rain.

"M-my apologies," He shook his head and pulled a white wool nightgown out of the third top dresser drawer. Its sleeves were trimmed with ruched cotton and lace, the collar high and embellished as well, pearly buttons trailing down to where the waist would sit on the average woman. Ciel hadn't exactly had anything tailored when he'd gone spending money that wasn't even his, it most definitely wasn't going to fit.

"Don't worry about it, they're a bother to get out." Sebastian placed the candle on the bedside table and turned to him, smiling. "Be careful, I don't want any blunders like last time." The fluffy, white towel fell to the floor and left him exposed, overwhelming Ciel with shock. He didn't look emaciated. Thin, but he looked positively...

Lovely.

He looked so lovely just standing there. So lovely and damp, with a lovely smile and lovely eyes.

"Well?" He giggled and sat on the bed. "Pick your jaw up off of the floor and dress me before I freeze again. It's nothing you haven't seen before, Ciel." The adult did nothing. "Please? I'm ready for bed."

"Yeah... Yes, of course." He moved forward.

Ciel set the nightgown and other items of clothing beside him on the bed and knelt to grab the towel from the floor. He stopped in a crouch, Sebastian's foot resting firmly on his shoulder, and turned to look at him. He looked back blankly, eyes soft and tired with their fires fading, crimson receding back deep inside of him. "I am vulnerable here. Around you..." Ciel put his hand underneath the boy's calf and caressed it. "You're going to be the end of me."

"You're giving me far too much credit, Sebastian." He smiled and stood, leaving the towel where it had fallen. The nightgown did what he so longed to do and brushed against the boy's legs, falling open mid-thigh.

Sebastian sighed and mumbled. "I think just the nightgown will suffice." This grabbed the attention of the man below. "I'm very tired."

"Is that it?"

"Just button the gown up." Ciel nodded in compliance. His hands hovered over his lap for a moment before nervously connecting each button to the other side of the opening, letting them stop and rest on the boy's neck. Sebastian watched him under heavy eyelids for a moment and spoke again. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I don't trust you enough to leave you alone for the night."

"Is that it?" Sebastian smiled, getting a similar gesture in return. "I wouldn't warm up to something that can be so violently cold, Ciel."

"I assure you, it isn't my intention to love you. Only to care for you as you have asked- demanded me to."

"It isn't my intention to make you do anything. You're only here to give me a reason to be so far away from my home."

"Well..." Disappointment marked his voice with a slight rasp. "If I can do that much and it calms your fears, I'll keep it up for as long as I can."

"Thank you." Ciel's hands fell away from Sebastian's shoulders. "You can lie down with me if you like. I-I mean, seeing as you don't really trust me to stay here." He pulled his legs up onto the bed in a spastic motion, like he was jerking them away from something that lie slithering on the floor, and consequently fell on his side.

"Is it what you want?"

"I think we're past the point of you asking if I want something or not. We're both scarred as mates, do as you wish. I can't say I won't be a bit disheartened if you don't, but I can't force you to, either." He got no response. Ciel pulled back the heavy winter blanket, glancing at smooth black toenails and dainty little feet peeked out from the edge of Sebastian's nightgown for only a split second, and covered him with it. Sebastian shivered and released a heavy sigh into his pillowcase before completely hiding his face. "Goodnight."

"Don't act like that." Ciel walked to the other side and kicked his shoes off, rolling in beside him.

"You're not even under the blanket, how are you being any help at all?"

"Don't act like that." He repeated. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"And that's supposed to be good enough..." Sebastian mumbled.

"Well, no, but it's all I can manage."

"Stupid humans."

**...**

**Note: **_**Yay, more excuses! Prom, court and just... lack of creativity and motivation. But you know what? I'll get it figured out eventually. lP I'm a boss like that. XD**_

_**Ugh, kill me now. Review, pretty please? It makes me smile. **_


	24. Ipsi Locutus est Suicidium

**Warnings: **_**A little bit of mental dialogue from normal Sebastian (althought the last, similar section is not), a developing foot fetish in older Ciel and little Sebs being a bit misogynistic. I do believe that's it, dear readers. Have fun~**_

**...**

_Give up your cold exterior. Nobody has to know. I am empty here. You cannot possibly be so heartless as to lock me away. _

_I want out of this routine. I long to feel as you do, if only I could touch the deepest part of you. What happens when you're gone? Our time together is nothing but the blink of an eye and yet you still manage to be so cold to me._

_I desire you._

_Perhaps for that very reason. I'm not used to not getting my way, being rejected. You beautiful, selfish child. Don't change. Don't ever change, I couldn't have you any other way._

**...**

Sebastian woke up from a very shallow sleep. The things that stalked the forest were making too much noise now. He turned and looked at Ciel, curled up on top of the blankets. "You moron." Sebastian smiled and tugged the top comforter over him. "You'll catch cold, it's early December."

"Mn."

"Silly."

**...**

_Let's feel each other. This wilt away any day now, this delicate little rose of life. I envy you, I really do. No matter the ribbon of time I dwell and linger on, I watch you sleeping and, oh, how I envy you._

_You're soft, sweetly painted and gentle. Appealing no matter who you are. I am still distressed, though. I don't really understand the situation, don't really know which side of me gets to choose you. I hope it is this me, the stable me._

_If not..._

**...**

"Nh... hha..." Distant noises. Sebastian could tell, even in his fuzzy and hardly-conscious state, that his hips were lifted from the mattress and that his nightgown was pushed clear up past his chest. But it didn't hurts. "Gh. H-haah. Mnn... S-Sebas-_Nn_." The sounds continued. Sebastian sighed and let himself fall back to sleep. It wasn't anything to worry about.

**...**

Ciel quietly finished wiping the evidence from Sebastian's legs and feet, trying desperately to hide the shame he felt for giving into his twisted frustration. He'd need to, especially, if Sebastian had indeed woken up in the middle of the mess. Sighing, Ciel leaned forward and put his lips to the boy's ear, "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything, stop being a baby." The reply startled him. Ciel went flying off of the bed and onto the floor. Sebastian laughed and rolled onto his side. "If you get any stranger, you better warn me now."

"How long have you been awake?"

"When you decided to use cold water instead of warm when you wet the washcloth." Sebastian sighed and sat up, turning to let his bare legs hand over the bed. "I don't see why anyone has ever found them so appealing. Namely you and Surgat, of course but..." He looked up. "I suppose it's mostly you. I got some nasty comments about my thighs from him, but I think you're the first and only one to make love to my feet without the decency to wake me."

"I-I..." Ciel started, bloody rushing to redden his face, among other things. "Ehe."

"Not like I really mind it." Sebastian shrugged and slid off of the bed, nightgown tumbling down and covering him. "Let's go do something before something bad happens."

**...**

Sebastian's choice of outfit was, without saying, a bit strange. A male's blouse, black and silk and very form-fitting, a 'fashion corset', as he called it, with white panels with black pinstriping, lace between them and along the edges, black satin bows, two plain ones on the bottom and three on the top with red satin roses attached to their knots, beads and chains hanging down from were his white trousers and the strange half-skirt thing made of what looked like red- and black-striped chiffon, as well, but the corset... Sort of confused Ciel. He'd never seen anyone wear a corset on the outside of their clothing other than the boy himself.

"Will you stop staring at me?" Sebastian mumbled as the carriage they occupied drove over a bump in the road. There was a little red and black heart drawn beneath his left eye and he was currently attempting to pull his hair back with a ribbon. "Damn it all."

"Do you need help?"

"No, I've got it." He sighed and quickly tied the ribbon into a bow.

"Good." Ciel smiled and glanced out the window. "So where are we going?"

"Circus. I have an..._ appointment _with someone working in the freakshow." Sebastian turned and put his feet up on the seat. "Truth be told, I'm not hungry enough to be bothered with Chu Kwai's little hobbies, but I have been called upon and so I must go."

"Freakshow? Appointment?" The adult turned to stare at him in silence, waiting for some sort of circular explanation that was so very much like him. Naturally, he got nothing. A little less than disappointed, Ciel turned back towards the window. "I've never been able to stomach the freak shows, the people there are-"

"They usually don't look like they did before they were kidnapped. Not in this circus, anyway." Sebastian's head rolled lazily towards him. "I have a lot in common with these freaks. I fear I wasn't mutilated with acid and cannot feel empathy for that, but I've felt the burn and I've been tortured as they have been. Maybe I'm doing this to clear my conscious or something, I'd really rather avoid them myself."

"Is that so..?"

"Yes. I suppose some of them were born deformed and were cast out by their parents." Sebastian sighed and sat up straight. "I need to face it, I belong right there with them."

Ciel stood in a crouch and turned quickly to sit beside him, pulling the boy's head to his chest. "I'm a bigger freak than they are." Sebastian continued. He wrapped his arms around Ciels waist. "I've hurt worse. Still, I want to lead them away from that..." He began to growl,"That _female's _grasp and put the _bitch_ back in her place."

"Calm down." Ciel hummed.

"Burn her at the stake, perhaps. Skin her alive and put her on display, see how she likes it. She hasn't earned the right to talk about my past, let alone to laugh at it and make a mockery of it. Why do you think this happens? It's my fault. I get thrown into a bad place by my father and suddenly hundreds of children have gone missing and are mutilated and cannibalized... It's like the boarding house all over again." Sebastian stopped to cry for a little less than a minute, pushing himself up. "Most people would be either much stronger or dead by now. I would be far past over it if history wasn't stuck on a permanent repeat."

"That isn't true, you're very strong, despite whoever did what." Ciel grabbed him and pulled him into his lap, stroking his hair. "A lot stronger than I am, though I hate to admit it."

"_No_."

"Hm?" He let Sebastian turn in his lap and stare at him somberly. "No what?"

"There's hatred in you, Ciel Phantomhive. I smell it. I feel it." The boy's eyes clouded over and hardened, "You long for revenge just as much as I do, if not more. It is that very seething, tormentous anger that drew us together, I think, and it will always serve as our little red string. As long as you harbor the slightest amount of that negativity, we will be bound to each other." He smiled, eyes clearing and wet with tears. "Don't you dare say I'm stronger than you. I'm a small vessel, I can only hold so much right now. You're big. I envy your determination to rid yourself of that distant and mysterious past so violently. I want to help you."

"You want to cut the binds?" Ciel tried to joke. Sebastian's smile fell and for a moment, he sat there trembling as his emotion was wrung out of him. He then grinned and laughed.

"You're an idiot." He punched Ciel in the shoulder.

"_Ow_!" Ciel shouted and started laughing, too, interrupted by a very forceful and demanding kiss.

**...**

The driver handed Sebastian a lace parasol, black, as Ciel set him on the ground. "Thank you. You may leave until the time specified." He nodded and left the two standing in the late afternoon sun.

"Isn't it a bit odd to be having a circus so near to the first snow?"

"Not as unusual as you might think. Though out here..." He opened the frilly umbrella-like accessory and stepped forward. The ground below changed from city cobble to frozen dirt and curling, brown leaves. Sebastian led Ciel towards the motley set of tents with a delicate, almost inaudible _crunch-thud_.

"You think anyone'll be making money?"

"Nobles who want to see the deformed, munchkin little boys who want to watch the dancing girls... anyone who can make it will be here, they're bound to make some meager amount." The boy seemed distant. "I've seen it all before." Two tattooed identical twins gruffly stumbled by, sharing the weight of a large crate, probably containing an animal or something of the like.

"Ah."

"I have no respect for those girls._ Whores_. Wouldn't be surprised to see one of Daddy's girls there. Anything to flash their tits." He kicked at a small stone. "But I'm a misogynistic twat, so what do I know?"

Ciel followed silently, glancing around at the rising buildings, skittish animals and gypsy-like circus workers. In the distance, there were cries, somber singing.

"There they are."

**...**

There stood a one-legged girl in a stormy-blue raincoat and nothing more. Her hands were broken and twisted, ulcers on her palms, scares up and down her body and a cross-shaped burn on her cheek. She had one glass eye, one blurred by a severe cataract, and had had her hair dyed red, which had faded. Her wiry prosthetic leg had rusty springs that creaked as she hobbled towards them.

"Abbey Grimm?" Sebastian closed his parasol and pressed the tip into the thawing earth.

"Rose Red." She grinned. The end of her tongue was split in three places and her teeth has been filed down to stubs.

"Rose, then-"

"I like Red," She insisted, looking down at Sebastian.

"Fine." The sighed. "What is it you need, Red?"

"W-well," Her near-blind eye darted nervously around the spacious tent. "I was forced by my master to call upon you, so I really don't know."

"You obviously expected me." He raised an eyebrow, tossing his parasol back at Ciel. "You don't look that appetizing. Where's your master?"

"He's out getting food for the show." She turned and began walking towards an empty cage. "You know, supplies and stuff."

With a creaking, with a metallic groan and creaking, a younger girl in a decades-old wheelchair approached with a tea tray in her lap. Still sweet, sleeping beauty eyes, wispy strawberry blonde was left with legs so twisted and braced that she would have been better off without them, and with only one hand, dressed in a filthy, lace romper. "Try it," She spoke with all of the power and confidence of a violently beaten puppy, "It's the very best we have. Master insists on hospitality. ... I-I made it myself." Red pulled two chairs to the center of the tent, right next to the smouldering coals in the fire pit.

"Take a seat, take your tea," She hummed politely, "Snow White and I will send out for Master. Angel needs to go pass out flyers as it is. It's its job."

"Angel..." Sebastian snorted. Ciel looked at the Grimm girls. They sat there, the innocent and sad little Snow White, Rose Red with her hands behind her back... It seemed rehearsed and stiff. Even their clothes seemed to be fake. He felt uncomfortable.

"It?"

"She's a..." Snow glanced around nervously and leaned in closer, cupping her hands around her mouth. "S-she's a hermaphrodite."

"Ah." Ciel looked down at the chairs. Sebastian sighed and demanded for him to take a seat, sitting only after he had. Next came the testing of the tea, which Ciel confirmed as perfectly normal tasting. Unsweetened, nothing more. Sebastian took his cup as well and finished it in silence.

_Wait._

Suddenly, that very _off _thing had become incredibly wrong. Ciel's world switched to slow motion. He could see every frame of movement made, watched the fuzzy shapes they created. Through his last moments of consciousness, he turned to look at the boy beside him. Sebastian had been weakened, obviously enough. His scream was pulled into the recesses of Ciel's mind as the both of them mentally parted.

**...**

_No, stay! Don't leave again._

_Hush now, it's alright._

_Is that you?_

_You came for me!_

_No, stay! Don't leave me- Hush!_

_Come back. Please, come back. Don't you like it here?_

_Don't leave me again._

_Don't leave me._

_Don't leave_

_Don't._

_What's happening?_

**...**

_Sebastian stood up from the floor, bare, slender feet slick with his own blood. His arms weakly encircled his stomach, holding the slash across his stomach together. He screamed continually at Ciel, in pain and terror, not letting himself be touched._

_Shocked by an invisible force, his arms flew back, letting his insides spill out and-_

Ciel woke up vomiting. "A-ah. ...Ugh." his gut spasmed in on itself for a final time but left him hunched over.

"You're a monster!" He heard the real Sebastian cry out. Ciel lifted his and to find Sebastian in his boots, stockings, bustle/half-skirt, underwear and corset, donning his horns and tail and being tied to the bars of his cage by a man with long, blonde and black hair. "Jeptha... P-Philatinus, you bastard, let me go!"

Ciel wrapped his hands around the bars of his own cage and quietly spoke Sebastian's name. He instantly felt like a helpless child all over again. His eyes fell.

"C-Ciel..." He heard Sebastian from across the room. "Take me to him, you bastard, or I'll rip your throat out!" The man chuckled and began to pull his waist-length hair back into a ponytail of sorts. "Now!"

**...**

**Note: **_**So many issues. I know, excuses, excuses. So, yeah. My own circus arc, I suppose. Probably won't be as good, but... Hey, Sebastian knows who someone is, that means something interesting might happen. That's a matter of oppinion... yeah. I'm tired. Reviews would be nice, if possible~**_** C:**


	25. Susurrabant

**Warnings: **_**"Magic", language, and a doctor. I think that's it.**_

**...**

Sebastian groaned dryly, having hung from the bars for hours now. Ciel's cage had been pushed through the dirt and up against the boy's. "Welcome to the show." Jeptha had spat at him, binding the corners together. His breath smelled of vomit and french perfume, from what Ciel remembered.

"Sebastian?" Ciel pressed his side up against the bars of his container, stretching his arm as far as it would go. The tips of his fingers could just lightly brush Sebastian's cheek. The child whined and leaned into the touch.

"It hurts." He lamented almost silently. Sebastian's eyes remained trained on the filthy concrete floor of the cage. "Tell him to untie me. Tell him I'll be good." His tail slipped under the rope around his wrist. "G-god, this hurts."

Ciel frowned and turned away. "Hey!" He called to their captor. Jeptha turned and grinned.

"Isn't that sweet? Can't untie him yourself." Ciel glared. This guy was rubbing it in. Jeptha seemed to glide as he walked across the tent, staring gleefully up at Ciel. "So what do you want, pretty peacock, hm?"

"For you to untie him, obviously." Ciel tried and failed to hide the snarl in his voice.

"Nope, not like that." Jeptha sighed and rested his cane against the side of the cage so both arms would be free to pretentiously cross over his chest. "Beg."

"Phillatinus, damn you, let me out of these binds!" Sebastian screeched. "You win, okay? I'll do what I'm told, just let me down away from these bars. Please!"

"Wrong name, Sweetheart, I'm afraid you'll have to try again."

"I-I'll ... I'll tell father what you're doing. You'll be punished if you don't let me down." Sebastian let his head fall. "Jeptha, please, let me go. Don't make me call him, don't make me do it. Please, please, please just untie me."

"Much better." Jeptha bared what looked to be fangs with an unbearably cruel grin. Just like that, the ropes loosened and let Sebastian fall to the man who was, by implication, his brother grabbed his walking stick and exited the structure.

Sebastian groaned. He didn't move from the position he'd fallen into, messily sprawled out and pathetically crumpled. There were red rings around his wrists, minute droplets of blood darkening the color where the skin was beyond raw. The boy shook.

Ciel continued to press against his bars, looking for a way to have the boy squeeze through. Seeing him there like that... Sebastian needed help desperately. At least a little comfort. "Sebastian. Come here, Sebastian." The boy sobbed and tried to push himself up. His arms shook under his weight. Sebastian looked at Ciel and whimpered, letting himself fall. "Please?"

Sebastian once again struggled, dragging himself over to the barrier between them before giving up. Ciel reached through and stroked his hair. "I could fit through." Sebastian gasped, holding his breath to force off the temptation to start screaming.

"Then come here, I want to hold you." Ciel gently clutched his hand.

"I'm scared to. I don't want to get in trouble with him." Sebastian shook his head.

"I'll take all of the punishment for it."

"Don't you dare start talking like that to me, Ciel." The boy turned and curled up on his side. "If I let everyone who ever pretended to care about me go that far, the world would be empty."

"I'm not pretending. Come here."

"No." he turned his head. "You'll be a distraction. I can't afford to screw up in this situation, I refuse to be beat into further submission." Sebastian pulled himself to his knees and reached through the bars for Ciel's hand. The adult gave it to him, staring at him blankly. "Help me lie to him until I have my chance to get out, at least until then."

Ciel nodded. "Thank you."

**...**

_Ladies and Gentlemen, children of body and mind!_

_Welcome to Big Brother's Circus!_

_We have the most talented show in the country, from your everyday circus performers, to the most beautiful dancing girls, down to the freaks. Yes, folks, you heard me clear. Our freaks are just as talented as anyone else you can see here._

_Why, there are the Grimm sisters, Snow White and Rose Red. Sure, they're ugly little urchins (Red even has a glass eye!) but they can do things far more abnormal than their appearances. Red is a lovely girl, sent to us from France, who can talk without moving her lips. Snow is sweet as well. She can sing with a chorus of voices all at once._

_Our little contortionist can bend into shapes others could only dream of! He refuses to tell us his name... Hey, I'll tell you what. If one of you can get him to speak, your entire evening will be free, no matter how much you eat or drink._

_Then there's the one who belongs to both sexes. People, if you plan on meeting this thing, I suggest you leave your children with us, it is not for the faint of heart._

_And the main one... Yes, yes, there are others. Many others. This one, however, we've taken from the asylum. He's been there for ages, they just couldn't figure out what to do with him. Ladies and Gentlemen, our main freak is one of impeccable beauty. He's got the body of a female, the organs of a male, horns, a tail and a riveting hold over a human captive._

_You heard me clear, people, you heard me clear. This thing is not human._

_This is a beast._

_Come and see, come and see! And welcome from all of us here at Big Brother's Circus!_

**...**

The noises echoed from the other tents into their own. Each child designated a freak by Jeptha sat quietly in their cage, ready and willing to perform at the drop of a hat. All except for Sebastian, who sat in the corner of his own container, pulled against the bars so Ciel could try to hold him. "What will we do when they come in here?" The adult mumbled.

"We perform." Sebastian leaned through the bars and kissed his cheek, "You should go to sleep, don't watch what I have to do." Ciel grabbed him as he tried to pull away and softly kissed him. "C-Ciel...There are reasons for everything, this is-"

"I will not let my eyes close. They won't do anything to you."

"You can't make them blind." Sebastian smiled and stood, facing away from the tent's entrance. "But you... You don't pay attention to a thing I do." Sebastian began to tear up, "You remember when I collapsed and you took me home?" Ciel nodded. "Remember when I said you were all the same? That's why. I have to keep them satisfied, no matter what it means."

Ciel reached through the bars and squeezed Sebastian's hand, running his thumb over the back of it. "It's alright, I understand, I won't judge you by what you have to do to survive. It isn't my place. My place is to make sure you're safe."

"My place is to keep my mate out of danger and thinking poorly of me. There are certain precautions-"

"Stop referring to me like that, it's sounds so savage. It isn't you."

"It is, Ciel, it is." Sebastian pulled his hand away. "Everything I do tonight is what I really am. My performance is the face behind my mask, just another hellion trapped in the rut of defiling myself to get my way."

"I won't believe it." Ciel smiled warmly at him. Sebastian returned with an unreadable expression, then looked away as footsteps pounded the ground.

One by one, children were lead away from their parents, the adults paying the extra admission into their show. Sebastian inhaled the air, spitting the airborne dust he'd sucked in onto the floor of his cage. He was ready. And never before had Ciel seen this lingerie-clad, effeminate little waif look so endearingly boyish. He smiled again to himself and rolled his head away.

_The real freaks were here now._

Many of the attending people wasted their time with the young girls, harassing them, the men, drunk, being raunchy with the little girls and exploiting their talents. One woman collapsed near Angel's cage. A very young man, almost too young to be there, found himself preoccupied with sweet talking the contortionist. Then, of course, there was the doctor.

He'd been the first one in and entirely uninterested in the others. He'd walked straight towards Sebastian the instant he passed through the tent flaps. Hostility boiled Sebastian's blood cold. "Such aberration, such an _anomaly_..." The doctor marveled, studying Sebastian through the cage bars. "Boy-"

"Sebastian." He corrected in his most condescending manner.

"Yes, yes. Sebastian, could you move closer for a moment?" The boy shook his head. "I only want to see them more clearly."

"As if I would capitulate to the likes of you. I am a performer, not a science experiment, nor am I a prostitute." Sebastian turned around and dropped to his knees, crawling forward. His tongue flicked over his lips, eyes taking on their natural, hellish glow in the shadow of his hair. "You come to see me, but that all changes when you learn the price to cross the river. You'd sell your pathetic little soul to have your way with a young boy." He spat in the doctor's face. "I do not accommodate to scum like you. You are unworthy."

The doctor reached through the bars, caressing Sebastian's face. The saliva assault dribbled down his own cheek. "How did you grow up like this?"

"I was born with them. The tail and horns are something I earned, unlike you, you pathetic shit-"

"Sebastian!" Jeptha snapped. His voice had startled the doctor. Laughing, he walked forward. "He's got quite the mouth on him. He learned from the nurses at the asylum while he was locked away. How were the nurses, Sebby?"

"Women? Ugly tarts, not worthy of the poison they're breathing. You, our sisters, our parents, Xaphan, all of you are unworthy of the oxygen you waste, just like the humans." Jeptha's walking stick slammed against the metal bars and sent Sebastian back screeching, covering his ears.

"He'd been abused at a young age, sacrificed to the demon Moloch by a devil worshiper. That's how it happened." The blonde feigned a distant look of sadness. "Anyhow, he's terrific when he's let out of the cage. Beating him into submission is nothing compared to what he had to deal with."

"So what's the price?" The doctor mumbled. "And what happens?"

"Whatever you want, sir." Jeptha grinned. "It wouldn't be fair if I hid talents from my paying guests."

**...**

_Ching...ching...ching...ching... ting-clink...ching...click. Slam!_

Sebastian groaned, stretched taut across a wooden platform. The restraints, dungeon-style cuffs and chains, strained against the rope burn on his wrists and made his now bootless ankles sore. He didn't move.

The doctor moved forward, gloved hand reaching beneath him and pulling loose the ribbon that tied at the small of his back. He less than gingerly pulled the boy's corset away and set it between his legs.

"Perfection." He moved in closer, "Most in your circumstances are riddled with scars, but you're so... porcelain."

"Fuck you." Sebastian gasped, trying not to inhale his bad breath. " What sort of sick fetishes are you all about, or is it a fantasy you want me to act out?"

"I do not wish to violate you." The doctor stated softly, stroking the curls that rested on the boy's shoulder. "I just want to look at you. You're the first of maybe hundreds that hasn't been a hoax." His fingers trailed up to the base of one horn, pulling the hair aside to see the part of his skull from which it protruded. "You're really something."

Sebastian's tail whipped violently, sensing threat. Jeptha had lead him in, drugged and unable to fight, long after the largest group of attendants had left. Through clouded consciousness, he'd heard his brother demand his behaviour. Now he was determined to become an animal. A beast. Finally, Sebastian strained against his bindings, thrashing his tail wildly about, trying to bite down on the fingers that pried his jaws apart.

"Three canines where there should be one, all exceptionally sharp, as if filed. No visible damage, so it isn't likely." Unbelievable! This guy was so nonchalant, as if someone were beside him, taking notes. "Tonsils either never developed or were removed, no uvula. Tongue is abnormally smooth and pointed. It's not anchored down to the floor of the mouth." Sebastian glared at him. "Eyes change in color and give of some form of bioluminescence. Pupils contract abnormally and do not react to light."

"Tell me," Sebastian interrupted, "What is your name?"

The doctor glanced away from his near-naked body with a cool, pale green gaze. "My name?" Sebastian nodded. "Charles."

"Charles what?"

"Ingram."

Sebastian locked his gaze with the steady opposite. "Charles Ingram... Ancestors named Cybil and Edmund. Cybil was the first to catch the plague, and that piece of history led you to your line of work. Your father's mother sent you through medical school, spent every bit of money she had on your education." He smiled softly. "Your mother isn't fond of you. In fact, she sees you as a failure compared to your younger brother, James. You're married to your second cousin, Phoebe, who gave birth to three children. You named your surviving child Calliope. Tell me, Doctor Ingram, have you always been obsessed with the circus?"

Charles turned away and continued his study, shaken. Sebastian began to thrash again, grunting as he tried to pull the chains loose from the table. In an effort to get him to stop, the doctor offered to untie him. Sebastian shook his head furiously. "Why not?" Again, the boy shook his head, "Fine. ...How do you know all of that, anyhow?"

"Human eyes are nothing but dirty mirrors." Sebastian hissed. The look of confusion that the other presented him with caused a little chuckle to rise from him. "Just because they're caked with shame and lies and the filth of life doesn't mean something like me can't see a reflection."

"I think we're done here."

"I've been starved, Doctor Ingram." Sebastian fell limp. "You want to let them abuse me, knowing what I expected of you, knowing how I act? You're a good man. You toss your change to the unfortunate between jobs. Save me and my mate. Save all of us." Charles turned and began to walk away. "Don't turn your back to me!"

"I'm sorry. Goodbye."

**...**

Jeptha strutted up to Ciel's cage. He clanged his walking stick against the bars beside him. " 'Ey!" He let Ciel turn around. "I let you out, you'll only go get him and not run, yeah?"

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

The cane slid through the bars gently to turn Ciel's head towards its owner. "Good puppy." They stared at each other. "Come and get him then. Come on. Get up." Jeptha tugged the stick away and banged on the bars once more. The wall, a false one, really, fell to open to the ground and stirred up an intimidating cloud of dirt.

Ciel inhaled it and escaped.

They walked through the midnight frost, far from the tents and animal cages. It wasn't until now that Ciel realized that his shoes had been removed. Barefoot, he followed to a small, brick building.

Sebastian was asleep, pinned to a board like a picture. The bottoms of his stockings were dirty, the fabric just above and below the ankle cuffs unoccupied place worn ever-so-slightly. The blue-haired adult stumbled towards him on still-sleeping legs. He collapsed on top of the boy.

"There are no bad people..." The boy spoke in his slumber. "Just... monsters who trap everyone else." One slender arm weakly lifted itself to rest around the back of Ciel's neck, crimson eyes fluttering open. "You came for me."

"I'll always come for you." Ciel smiled and lifted him up off of the wooden platform. He turned and faced the blonde behind him. "He needs clothes and blankets. And I want him in my cell."

"Strip him, we'll wash what he's got." Jeptha shrugged.

"And the blankets?"

"I'll see what I can do."

**...**

**Note: **_**Okay. I'm usually not this slow at writing, but I've felt like I needed to take my time with this part of the story. I can't believe how stupid everything I'm writing right now sounds. You can all pretend to hit me if you feel better. I may go back and start editing chapters once I can't take it anymore, so there's that. Neh. I already want to know what I want to happen next chapter, so hopefully it won't take as long. Love~**_


	26. Petram de Aetate

**Warnings: **_**Violence, mentions of rape (no actual rape), sad semi-fluff. Enjoy the new chapter.**_

**...**

_Nothing in my hand I bring,_

_Simply to the cross I cling;_

_Naked, come to Thee for dress;_

_Helpless look to Thee for grace;_

_Foul, I to the fountain fly;_

_Wash me, Savior, or I die._

**_ -Rock of ages_**

**...**

"So smooth."

_Smack!_

"So soft."

_Slap!_

"So flawless."

_Crack._

"Well... I suppose they aren't anymore." Jeptha dropped the whip and strutted forward the few feet it took to reach his younger brother, who was bent over a card table, nude. The smaller demon sobbed, the skin on his thighs bruised, broken and bleeding, legs shaking. "I don't think it would be wise to fall in the dirt, you'll get an infection."

"Shut up." Sebastian fought the urge to crumple to the ground. Jeptha's hands traced one finger along his spine and back up to the nape of his neck. "Stop."

"I really wish Belial could be here with me. We could have some real fun with you. Make you limp, ya know?" One claw dug into the back of the boy's neck. "You'd like that, too, right?"

"Stop."

"Hmph." Jeptha scowled, shot down. He grabbed his useless little walking stick and lifted it up into the air. It swung down with a whooshing noise and hit Sebastian's thighs again. "You're fucked either way, I don't see why you insist on fighting."

"Aah! S-stop." Sebastian whispered. He put all of his wait on his chest before the cane came down on him again.

"Like hell I'll stop!"

"Stop-" Just as the word left his lips, his older brother's fist came down on his back. "Gah!"

"Oh, shut up." Jeptha rolled his eyes, pulling Sebastian back by his hair. "Let's go see your little boyfriend before I rape you." What a sick joke. What a sick fucking joke. The older demon laughed and began dragging Sebastian back through the frozen field to the freak show tent.

It was so cold, he was so sore. Sebastian stumbled behind, breathless, until he was thrown into the wall of Ciel's cage. The adult was somehow peacefully asleep. "I really should. It would be a nice little wakeup call for the parasite." Jeptha's breath puffed against the back of his neck, gloved fingers slithering along the curve of his waist and hips.

"You're disgusting." The boy growled.

"I smell the need for it on you. So sickly sweet." His brother mumbled. His hands trembled along their path. "Or are you lying about how you feel about me?"

"I'm a strong one." Sebastian hissed against the bars. The smell of human filth from the other cages was overwhelming, though there was little heat to carry the odor. "I do not lie as you do. This fact alone will win me the throne from which His Satanic Majesty retires, and I will crush you like a bug."

"Like you crushed Surgat?"

Sebastian humored him with a short burst of sobbing laughter. "_Claude_ wasn't worth the effort." Jeptha fell into a cold silence, shoving him in through the bars. "Knew it all along, _didn't you_?"

"Shut up. Don't make me call father, Sebastian." Jeptha returned the very same chuckle. "Honestly... Before I go, could you explain to me why you would want him around? Last I checked, he was the worst being alive, he stole your innocence. He hurt you, he hates you, whatever. You think he'd save you?"

"You think he wouldn't go after you if he felt he could get away with it?"

"Mother wouldn't let him."

"_Mother is an idiot_." Sebastian rolled his eyes and crawled away from his brother, pulling Ciel's arm over himself. "He will expect to have my clothes in here when he wakes up."

"I'll see what I can do about it."

**...**

Ciel stared at the small pile of material left on the floor, shirtless despite the cold. Sebastian's head rested in his lap. "What is_ this_?" He remarked to the boy, who was pulling the stolen top over the marks on his thighs. Ciel glanced down at him for an answer.

"Dress me." Sebastian dismissed the question softly. His hesitance was oozing thickly off of him, the sound of wary thought echoing behind the initial air-stab of his voice. Ciel couldn't directly recall just then if he'd seen the boy this submissive.

The adult nodded and stood, pulling Sebastian up. He tied the sleeves of the shirt they were sharing to the bars as an improvised curtain. They both struggled to squeeze Sebastian into the tight pocket of material, made even more difficult by its lack of give.

When they finally got it on, Sebastian found himself wearing something like a leotard made of the same shiny, leathery stuff as his favorite boots, tinted a bit purple by the sunrise just outside. There was a large panel cut from the front from just below his breast bone to his hips, false ribs jutting out like slender fingers trying to reach each other from each side of his waist. It was boned, making it even more uncomfortable, and had thin garter straps hanging from the outside of the legs.

"Well..." Ciel mumbled. He grabbed the mismatched stockings that had been placed beside the suit and gently slid them onto the boy's legs, clipping them to the garters. "You probably aren't looking for any compliments..."

"Do you like me in this?"

"Your clothing isn't important." Ciel kissed his forehead and untied the shirt from the bars, pulling it on and buttoning each button haphazardly. "Are you going to be okay?" Sebastian nodded, knees instantaneously buckling beneath him and sending him into Ciel's chest, sobbing quietly. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry you have to be here. I shouldn't have let them take me home." Slender arms snaked their way to Ciel's chest, Sebastian's hands at head level and clutching the fabric of his shirt. "I shouldn't have stayed long enough to seize in that stupid shop, dragged you into all of this-"

"Nonsense." Ciel lifted him up by the waist. The boy's feet dangled nearly a foot off of the ground, boney body pressed against the older, similar form. "I'd be bored to death without you. Sure, this isn't much fun, but it'll work out like it has."

"And if it_ doesn't_?" They both fell silent.

**...**

A couple, engaged and giggling, happily strutted into the final tent together. Sebastian patiently sat and watched, carefully tugging at a stubborn curl near the side of his face. Jealousy burned subtly in his eyes, graying them. His heels tapped the concrete floor in time with the woman's, his breath synched with the ebb and flow of their conversation.

Ciel watched on as well. He saw the tiny 'freak of nature' become totally enveloped in the present life of the happy couple and could no doubt feel the distant, hopless want that seeped from the cracks in the young boy's soul. It was a throbbing feeling in his stomach, painful and ever burning.

The couple, a muscular man who was short and a lanky female, moved from cage to cage. Red spoke to herself, alternating between ventriloquism and softly moving her lips. Snow sang a song of mourning for them. They disappeared for a moment behind Angel's sheer curtain and reappeared to watch the young contortionist pretzel himself. It was on to the center of the tent, then.

Sebastian's look of longing had viciously gored him. The hollow shell of half-human stared up at the woman, taking in her stringy, brown hair and naive stare. She saw it, too. Ciel recognized her contorted expression, uncomfortable and afraid, from the farthest corner of the cage.

The boy got to his knees. One sleeved and trembling arm reached for her. "Your name." He demanded with all of the harshness of a smothered sob. She replied with Katrina and hesitantly presented him with her hand. Sebastian introduced himself, complimented her and kissed her hand, asking her to move closer. Despite her fiance's wishes, Jeptha's warnings about the caged beast before them, she did so.

Sebastian struggled inside himself to find the strength to lift the second arm to rest on the flat of her stomach. "How old are you?" Katrina whispered. Sebastian paused, struggling with thought now.

"It seems I've..." His gaze died just a little more, nearly flattened, "forgotten." He looked up at her apologetically.

"You look like a child." She strained to be helpful.

"I've been locked up for a very long time, Miss Katrina. I've witnessed many things, I have done many things. Terrible things." Sebastian's voice fell into a whisper. "I have traveled the world over and this is all I can do."

Ciel crawled forward, stopping as his shoulders aligned with the boy's hips. Katrina gave him a questioning glance. He nodded.

"Surely you've a little hope."

"My lady," Sebastian smiled faintly, "this is a display of the damned. These feelings are all I will ever know. Loss, heartbreak and loneliness. I have claimed many, I have gotten nothing in return. I cannot bear children," the hand he had placed on her stomach shifted, "I cannot love as easily as you can out there in the light. I am a broken toy, you are still an unused plaything for the demons that come to feast on misery late into the night."

The glow returned to his eyes slowly, grasping viciously the thread of terror weaving itself into the woman he had touched. "Y-you're so cold."

"You do not feel me, only my heart." He frowned. "My curse. It refuses to die, has frozen in time to keep me here searching for the thing that finds shelter within you." Yes, it was strong now. Thread into yarn, yarn into rope, several slithering, squirming ropes binding her to the spot where she firmly stood. Katrina shook. Seeing this, Ciel pulled Sebastian away from the bars of the cage. Both caged males watched the couple before them, the woman in shock and a vaguely concerned male. For a minute eternity, it was just that, until the nameless man lead his wife to be onto the next cage for the next quick burst of entertainment.

Soon thereafter, Sebastian turned his head into Ciel's chest and sobbed. More people came through, the sobbing became bawling, which eventually lead to screaming. He didn't move, he just lie there in Ciel's arms, howling wildly as a meager amount of people passed by. The crowd dissipated and left him with his throat raw, hardly the strong enough to whimper.

"Sebastian..." Ciel dragged him back to the far side of the cage, beginning to undress him, carefully avoiding the lightest brush against the bruised side of his thighs. A chill fluttered in from under the skirt of their tent. "Do you want to keep the stockings on?" A solitary nod. The adult continued, peeling off his shirt and wrapping the second body up tight.

"The monsters are returning..." Sebastian curled into a corner.

Ciel moved to join him "What do you mean?" The boy mumbled softly of the invisible creatures looming around their structure, explaining their intentions solemnly with arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"It could be paranoia, I could be hysterical," He sniffed, "but I don't want to find out if that is the case." The adult lifted him into his lap and moved into the corner, both eventually falling into an uneasy slumber.

**...**

**Note: **_**Finally out of school. I have to finish up a chapter for another story and so on and so forth... After chapter 30 arrives here, I'll be going back and editing everything because I really can't stand some of this story. And I would really like for this to turn out as wonderfully as I'd hoped. Reviews are appreciated, as always~**_


	27. Novissima Vertitur

**Warnings: **_**Language, a bit of strangeness and probably the longest author's note you'll ever have to even glance at. Please enjoy~**_

**...**

"An animal. He's_ perfect_."

Ciel opened his eyes. A low growl pulsed from a few feet away. Sebastian was pulled up against the bars of the cage by a bony hand, snarling like a rabid beast.

Beside the dark and shrouded figure stood a very familiar face. "You think so? His brother's been workin' 'im hard." Sebastian flailed and kicked wildly. "Will you calm down?"

"It's fine, Moloch." The hand, the only part of the second man's body that was visible to Ciel, pulled Sebastian up into the air. "He's a pretty one..."

"Sure is." Sebastian's father licked his lips. "Aren't you?" The young boy swiped at him through the bars, bearing his impressive set of fangs.

"Seems a bit damaged." The second man stepped closer. His hair was dark, but of an unidentifiable color and reached just past his waist.

"He's touched a bit," Moloch shrugged, grabbing the tiny, clawed hand by the wrist. " Can't say exactly what it is. Some sort of human illness."

"But he's much too old for that."

He laughed, "You'd think, huh? He was a runt, though. I don't expect him to mature as fast as the others."

"Hm," The second man smiled softly at the boy, gently setting him down. He had the same steely eyes as Sebastian's father, like tarnished, captured moonlight. "I like it."

"Wonderful." Moloch grinned. "Go back to bed, Gaap."

The limp mess of a child lifted its head and spat, "_Fuck you_. Both of you. I am not a toy."

"You are a failure and a mistake. Go back to bed and everything will be fine for a little while longer." His father chuckled, "Isn't that what you want?" Sebastian fell to the ground again. "Good boy. Crawl back to your little pet, we'll be on our way shortly."

The second being joined in. "He's wide awake and waiting for you, little one. Go on and curl up with him."

"I want to watch you leave." Sebastian slowly backed away from them, staring both men down. "Now, go. I wish to sleep."

"Sloth. Lovely." The stranger turned to Sebastian's father, nodded and lead him away.

Sebastian continued to back away from the side of the cage he'd been pinned to until Ciel's lap managed to get in his way. He fell into his older companion and sobbed. "Thank you." Sebastian threw his arms around Ciel's neck. "Thank you for waking up. Thank you."

"You're welcome?" Ciel wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. "What happened?"

"I don't know..." Sebastian held his breath until he had calmed down. "I-I just woke up and they were staring at me. I walked over and... his hands were just, you know, _everywhere_." His eyes closed. "I tried to walk back over here, but he grabbed my clothes and pulled me back into the bars. I think I hit my head."

Ciel ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't feel any bumps."

"It wasn't very hard..." Sebastian's arms fell into his own lap, head resting against Ciel's chest. "Mm. Thank you, though. I don't know how bad things would have gotten if you hadn't scared the monsters away."

"You're welcome." He smiled down at the boy, cradling him. "I'm glad it didn't get worse. I would hate to be alone in this place."

Sebastian nodded. "You know, I've been thinking... I-if we could get together with the others, maybe we could get out." Already, his eyes were fluttering closed. The boy's hand slid on top of Ciel's as they finally did shut the world out. "I'd like that."

**...**

Since that final whisper, Ciel hadn't been able to sleep. He'd been thinking, and there was no way everyone in the tent would be able to get together. He watched as Jeptha and an anonymous worker cleaned up and prepared for another night of strange guests, wondering just what he could do. After all, he didn't want to be here, either.

"Hm..." Ciel stood, carrying Sebastian on his hip like a baby, pacing the entire perimeter of the cage. What was there that he could do? Not only that, but what would work? There was the matter of convincing the boy's older brother no matter what he tried and it was making everything so difficult.

He scanned the area. One of the twins across the tent was asleep while standing, hand strained to grasp her dozing sister's. The contortionist was up and walking around, though with a restraint around his ankle, and from the farthest reach, the unseen freak could be heard sobbing.

"Ngh..." Sebastian groaned quietly. He lifted his head from Ciel's shoulder. "What's happening, what time is it?"

"I was thinking." Ciel turned his head to look at him. "And I believe it's still fairly early."

Sebastian sighed and let his head fall again. "I should have gotten you a watch. And I need a bath."

"When we get out of here, that's the first thing we'll do, okay?" Sebastian laughed and shook his head.

"We're never getting out of here. It's hopeless. We're on display until the end of time, even if they have to steal your soul away and make you a monster, too." He laughed again. "We're fucked. _Don't you get it_? The things in the dark are lurching towards us like the hungry masses of indestructible evil they are..."

"Don't say that. I'll get you out if it kills me-"

Sebastian quickly sobered and interrupted him. "If it kills you, there's no point. Take it back." He turned to glare at Ciel, eyes glowing fiercely the longer it took to get a response out of him.

"Rather be here for the rest of your life?"

"Rather that than be alone? Yes." He hissed.

The young contortionist joined in, "Will you two be quiet over there? You're going to get us all in trouble with your bickering."

"Shut up, nobody asked you, brat!" Sebastian pushed himself away from Ciel and pressed his body up against the bars of the cage.

"I'm the brat? You're the one being babied all the time! You have no idea what we go through here, all you say is one enormous assumption." The contortionist moved as close as he could with the chain around his ankle. "All you are is a spoiled drama queen."

"I know these people and how they work." Sebastian began to growl through grit teeth. "I grew up with them, I'm not assuming anything. I'm lucky to have my mate, yes, but I am in no way being babied."

"_Mate_?" The other boy laughed, "What are you, an animal?"

"No. I'm a beast, and it would do you good to shut your busy mouth before it got you into trouble."

"Oh-ho, really?" He smirked. "If you're so powerful, why don't you come and get me?"

"You're a brave one, aren't you?"

"You don't know the start of it."

Sebastian smiled and began to turn around. "You know," He stopped half way and slipped through the bars, jumping to the ground, "I'm really not one for games."

"I'm not playing. Seriously, you're going to get us all in trouble." Jeptha then entered the tent, freezing the both of them in their place.

"What are you two screaming about, you're upsetting the girls in the next tent." He moved in his usual glide-like manner and wrapped an arm around Sebastian's waist, lifting him up. "And what do you think you're doing out and about like this?" Sebastian gasped and writhed. "Don't tell me I'm going to have to do this, I_ really _don't want to."

"What are you going to do?" Sebastian's head snapped around.

"Oh, many things, my dear." Jeptha smirked, turning away from his little brother to look at Ciel. "You'll have him back when he's all better." The blue-haired adult opened his mouth to argue and was immediately met with the back of Jeptha's head. "Come along, darling, let's go get you fixed up."

"No! Let me go!" Sebastian squirmed. "Leave me alone... Jeptha- Philatanus, you city dweller, get your disgusting hands off me!"

"_Pardon_?" He dropped his living cargo, pinning him down to the ground, heavy military-style boot on his chest. "What did you call me?"

"Y-you heard me." Sebastian gasped.

"What is it with you and trouble? You think I like doing this?" The boot slid to the dirt beside Sebastian, scraping nearly an inch of skin off of the inside of his arm. Jeptha bent down and pulled him up to his knees by his hair. "Let's get this spoiled princess all fixed up now."

Sebastian grit his teeth, kicking as he was dragged outside into the discarded ash-blackened snow outside. Not one conscious soul could see where he was headed, but the two registering the situation knew. The brick shelter out in the distance, where whatever noise Sebastian made would be smothered and kept inside, never to be released.

At what Ciel would have to guess as both the boy and Jeptha being half way there, the screaming started, followed by bawling and pleading. He could make out his name once or twice through the distant panic before Sebastian fell silent again. He turned and looked at the contortionist.

"That idiot." The other boy said. His accent was clear now that Ciel was quietly paying attention to him. He sounded... Indian, perhaps? It seemed very likely, his skin was bronze and his hair was dark. His eyes were strangely piercing for someone who claimed to be in bondage for several years. "If he knows so much, why does he do stupid things?"

"He's still a kid." Ciel spoke, sitting on the floor of the cage. He'd give anything to be able to knock down the false wall right now, but the suspicion that it wouldn't fall held him back. "At least, I think he is."

"Yeah, I hate kids." The other boy sat down on his little cushioned platform, crossing his legs. "Adults, too. Nobody is trustworthy anymore." He started stretching. "But my gimmick keeps me out of trouble, and keeps me fed on top of it, so I think everything is as good as it's going to get until they tire of me."

Ciel laughed half-heartedly. "I can see why you'd say that. I don't think you'll be here much longer-"

"Oh, thanks."

"I meant escaping." The adult rolled his eyes.

"Ah... So why are you with that kid, anyways?" The contortionist turned and looked at him, leaning back until his spine cracked.

"I helped him home once and, for some strange reason, I ended up staying." Ciel leaned back. "He'd been living alone for awhile, I guess I thought he could use it because he's so young. After being around him for so long, despite everything, life is getting scary and tedious. If I even move wrong, I feel like he's going to lash out at me, despite how helpless he acts around the people he calls his family."

"I don't see anything to be afraid of in him. He's too skinny to do anything. I'm surprised he can stand the cold, the way he's dressed all the time." The young performer sat up straight. "By the way, as long as we're talking, my name is Soma."

"So-...hm. I'm Ciel. You'd be surprised," Ciel stretched and sat up straight, "mentally, he's healed faster than I ever thought possible after going through things nobody should have to go through." Soma nodded and continued to stretch, leaving the rest of the tent silent.

**...**

Sebastian stared at the ceiling, his mind and vision both blurred. Blood pulsed from little holes in his arm, the marks of failed attempts to insert intravenous needles. It didn't matter. The boy knew very well that he should be fighting back, in his subconscious he was. Everything was a mess in what remained of his waking mind.

The outside, however, was as sterile and neatly organized as a brick shed in the middle of nowhere could be, and all he could do was stare unblinkingly at the water-stained ceiling above with glazed eyes.

"You still alive?" The sound of the elder demon's voice was distant and muddled, like either he or the younger were deep underwater. Sebastian sighed in response. "Good. As long as you're still with me. I'm not searching hell for you so your little boyfriend won't start anything."

"Nn."

"Okay, here's another needle. Hold still," Jeptha chuckled and continued his little experiment on his younger brother. 'There we are."

"Gh."

"Shut up, you're going to hurt yourself." He turned around and tossed things around on his little table, searching in the pile of tools and counterfeit medicine for something. "Idiot."

"U-ugh... Mn." Sebastian managed to roll his head to the side to watch him for a moment. "Ah." His eyes rolled back, leaving the exposed slits of eye nothing but bloodshot white. "I-I should be home by now... S-s-someone will come for me."

"Straining your mind like that is going to do nothing but give you a headache."

"Burning."

Jeptha swung around to look at him. "What did I tell you?" He lifted a dull pair of scissors up and grabbed a lock of the younger demon's hair. "Hold still, I would like to avoid scarring you as much as possible. People seem to like that about you."

"I told-"

"Do you want to lose a fucking eye, Gaap?" Sebastian choked on a sob, too weak to let it tear its way from his throat, but aware enough that he knew he had to do something to fight back. Even if it made no difference in the end.

"That's what I thought." The quiet snips continued, one curl falling onto the splintering table after another. "If it makes you feel better, I'm not cutting them all the way off. There will be some left, they just won't reach as far."

"Ciel."

"Yes, yes. Your precious Ciel is fine."

"I told him," Sebastian grunted, struggling to keep control of his tongue, "that I w-wouldn't cut it. _Promised_." Jeptha continued on, distorted expression statue still as he hacked at the ends of each spiral strand, fringed tips jaggedly reaching just past his shoulders.

"There. Do you want to see?" Sebastian shook his head slowly. "Alright. I'm going to have someone come in and bathe you. God knows you won't like me touching you."

"Who?"

"One of the girls." Jeptha left him there, strapped down, and started yelling. Sebastian, left to whatever was left pulsing through the veins of his human vessel, let his eyes flutter closed again.

**...**

"He's been gone an awful long time." Soma sighed, fanned out on his platform. The cloth high above his head weighed down with snow that had to be several inches deep.

"Yeah." Ciel hummed, in an almost identical position on the floor of his cell.

"Think he's okay?"

"Well..." Ciel rolled onto his side, "I don't think he's dead. That's sort of the same thing."

"Yeah." Soma rolled over and looked at him. "I mean, I guess." Ciel nodded in agreement and sighed. "As long as he comes back, it's okay, right?"

"I suppose." The adult yawned. "Unless I have to try and kill someone for him, then I'm doomed to rot in a hole in the ground. I don't stand a chance against these guys."

Across the dirt floor, the girls readied themselves for the night, Miss Snow White's chair groaning as she moved about her cage, Red cursing under her breath while rehearsing. The constant sobbing coming from behind Angel's curtain slowed to mournful hiccoughs and the various others began to practice their little acts. Soma sighed and sat up, cross-legged on his platform. The only one with nothing to do was Ciel.

A nap wouldn't hurt, would it?

**...**

And so, damp and very cold, Gaap woke up somewhere new. Where he was was not the board he's been viciously strapped to. It felt like a cot with a very thin pillow and blanket to compliment it. He couldn't be sure, of course, because of his narcotized state.

"A-ah..." He struggled. Still tied down, but with softer ropes. His body wasn't pulled so taught that he hovered, but he wouldn't be able to escape.

"You dressed?" Jeptha returned, small toolbox in hand. "Oh, that's right. You started flipping out on the chick who was bathing you, so you've got more of the stuff in your system." He pulled back the covers. "Ugh. You're such a pain. I'll dress you myself, then."

One by one, the ropes came off. Sebastian, now even colder than before, hung like a frostbitten rag doll over his brother's shoulder. Through what sounded like tubes in his ears, he heard a trunk open and close and the clicking of shoes on the mud-caked tile floor.

"Sick." Jeptha wanted to throw him up against a wall. Patiently, however, he carried the small demon to the lavatory and held his hair away from his mouth. He then bent Sebastian backwards over the sink and proceeded to scrub at his teeth and tongue until it was bright red and raw.

Sebastian whimpered, closing his eyes tightly. He would later, very vaguely, remember the rush of getting clothed, and not even remember until he woke up entirely to see.

"Relax your eyes." The elder grumbled, painting over them with a steady hand in dark mauve and black colors. He went over the boy from head to toe after that, painstakingly taking time to make sure what ringlets the boy had left were perfectly curled and in place, then was the pressed powder over his lips, black heart shape-

"What-"

"Don't move, I'm still working, you halfwit." Jeptha growled, pressing a strip torn from netted stockings over the dark shape and painting into the holes with a shimmering red. "Hold still until I say, I do not want to be doing this again." Sebastian sniffled and nodded, clenching his jaw shut.

The boy opened one crimson eye, just a sliver, and watched the final act of preparation. With a small bottle of what looked like clear paint, the elder slowly went over every finger and toe. This treatment...

Trapped within his mind, and even then still struggling to connect anything, Sebastian fell limp with his eyes open again. This was a treatment he should have received for some sort of ritual or ceremony. What in the world could Jeptha be planning?

"Just like a doll." His brother said, standing and leaving him once again.

_Just what was happening here?_

**...**

**Note: **_**My deepest apologies. I really did mean to have this out to you earlier, but I got caught up in my editing (this and another story) and then my mom decided to move us into a camper trailer, my 12 year old brother was just put into a psychiatric hospital, the other ran away with my aunt for the summer and everyone in my family, excluding my mother, has disowned me. I know that the excuses are annoying, but please understand that there was way too much going on for me to get this done. If it makes any difference, I haven't slept in two days just so I could finish this. Updates should come a lot quicker now, though with a slight delay. Hopefully no longer than a week. I do hope this was long enough to make up for my absence, and, as always, reviews are much appreciated.**_


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